AHR Guest List

[Anna83]

FI and I are planning our AHR reception and already have a guest list of about 350 people for dinner. We are trying to cut down the list. FI's parents want us to invite even more people, and we got in a fight with them about who we are inviting and not inviting. Is anyone else having this problem? We feel that ultimately, it is our decision to invite who we want, and we shouldn't have to invite some great aunt that we don't even know. I am so frustrated with them...

[misohapi]

I think you should invite whoever you want. You're right, it's not fair to invite everybody and they're mama to something so special to you. 350 people! Geez Louise.. That's a lot of mouths to feed, especially considering it's a AHR. That's just my opinion. Good luck!

[starchild]

That is a huge guest list. Are his parents paying for it in any way? If so you may have to give a little, if it's your money then you definitely don't have to invite great aunt so and so whom neither of you know.

 

Good luck!!

[Carolyn]

I agree with Starchild. If parents are paying then give in but it not put your foot down.

[Hartyt509]

One of the reasons I'm not doing one FMIL would do exactly the same thing and i'd have to tell her to go screw herself lol

 

Stick to your guns - don't back down if you do she'll be like it for ever x

[ErinB]

I agree, if his parents are footing the bill, you might have to bend a little. If not, then it's your call.

 

Who are these people? Family, friends, business associates?

 

A good rule to follow is if you haven't been out to dinner or seen this person in 6 months, you do not have to invite them. Obviously the rules are a little different for OOT family, but that might avoid having every neighbor and your graduation high school class on the list.

 

If his parents are stil insistent that the list grow, tell them it is $100 pp (or whatever the cost is) and ask them to pay.

[meagan]

Wow! Thats a lot of people! I was just doing my guest list for the party at home and we have 240. I was getting nervous about that! I know you dont want to hear this, but you just made me feel so much better. Sorry.

 

I think its such a hard thing because you want everyone to have a good time and have who they want there, but on the other hand these partys cost $$$, A LOT of $$$. I just went through mine, and as bad as it sounds I took some people off and kind of made a "B list" ( i hope I dont sound too rude)

If people RSVP that they wont be there, then Ill begin to send out the B list invites. I want to keep it around 200 (praying for less), but at this rate I might have to pray harder!

[Anna83]

Thanks for the support girls! As of right now, his parents have not offered to help pay for anything. I do agree that if they are helping with costs, we should compromise a little more. A lot of the people they want to invite are coworkers (FI and his dad work for the same company). FI does not want to invite all of them either. It's not a company picnic, it's a wedding reception, OUR wedding reception!

[meagan]

Another suggestion since they are not putting in any money is to have you and your FI decide how many people his parents can invite. Be reasonable of course, but set a limit that you are comfortable with. Ettiquite (spelling on that is so wrong) says that they should pay for every person they exceed.

 

Like, my parents kept it around 60, my FI and I invited 100 and his parents got about 60. His parents said that they'd pay for any people after their amount.

 

Luckily for me everything is working out, and that isnt an issue.

 

Good luck!

[Hartyt509]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anna83 Thanks for the support girls! As of right now, his parents have not offered to help pay for anything. I do agree that if they are helping with costs, we should compromise a little more. A lot of the people they want to invite are coworkers (FI and his dad work for the same company). FI does not want to invite all of them either. It's not a company picnic, it's a wedding reception, OUR wedding reception!

Defo tell them to bugger off then - they aren't contributing they get no say - you invite who you want not their cronies - trust me I feel your pain lol

I told FI to TELL his mother she got no say lol she turned up and that was her involvement - he knows what she's like so agreed happily lol