Bridesmaid Issues??

[lscilley]

So an update on my BM issue. My friend is no longer my BM I finally talked to her about it and we both agreed it was better for her to step down as she is now pregnant again and will only have the baby a few months before the wedding. It really sucks we have been friends forever and I was in her wedding and I really wanted her in mine but they are going to see how stuff works out closer to the wedding and they may still attend. I asked my cousin to step in and fill her shoes and she was more than happy to it's really nice havgin a bridal party now that is as excited about it all as me!!!

[2bebridejamaica]

YAY... Congrats and everything is falling into place.... it all works out, as long as you have some communication.... it's not what you wanted... but now you can relax and enjoy being the bride you want to be .... HAPPY!!!!

[Angela139]

I completely know how you feel! I had to have the same talk with my sister... it really sucked. I was her maid of honour, and I really, really wanted her to be in my wedding! But she has three children, and she is the family bread-winner (stay-at-home husband) and just really couldn't pull it off. It broke my heart to say okay, well that's too bad but I'm doing this anyway... but I did, and as time goes on, I'm getting more and more okay with it. As girls keep telling me, the people who show up to our destination weddings are the people who really want to be there...

 

[SKing24]

I dont know if anyone reads this thread anymore but my BM just called to back out because she MIGHT have midterms that week.  I am so pissed! 

[richarsd]

SKing24 - that really sucks. Maybe she could work around it (talk to her profs and write them earlier or something?)? If it makes ya feel any better, at least that's something that she might not have any control over. Mine backed out because she chose to take a family vacation (also down to the Caribbean mind you) instead...could've just brought the family to my wedding as they were all invited but no, basically she just preferred to do something else. I was upset and hurt...but I can't force her to do something she doesn't want to do. It sucks but unfortunately, I think some of this stuff/crap is to be expected with a DW.

[Dilara]

wow ladies I sure am glad to hear I'm not the only one having BM issues... lol (sorry, that sounds kinda bad!) And here I thought having a DW was supposed to be easy and worry-free!

 

I have 2 co-MOH's (my 2 younger sisters) and 2 BM's... originally had 3 BM's but one of my best friends can't afford to go (2 babies and her hubby was laid off this week - with her just returning to work from mat leave they are barely getting by). She was totally up front with me and I completely understand her situation. No hard feelings at all. Of course it sucks that she cant' be there, I was her MOH and threw her bridal and baby showers, etc but what can you do? Just rolling with it...

 

Here's my problem: my parents are completely against my marrying FI (different religions) so they've basically disowned me. FI's parents are happy for us and supportive, thank God! My sisters both live with my mom and she is now saying that she forbids them to go to my wedding. They are 23 and 18 so they can make their own decisions but obviously they are trying not to piss off my mom any further. My dad refuses to have anythign to do with my mom's decision (they are divorced and barely speak to each other anyways). My sisters both swear up and down that they will be there no matter what but there is a very slight possibility now that they won't be able to.

 

One of my BM's, who I've been best friends with for about 12 years now has been completely MIA during this whole wedding planning process. FI and I got engaged in Dec 2009 and the wedding is in Nov 2010... with 3 months left she has yet to step up to anything. She lives about a 1 1/2 hour ferry ride away so of course I don't expect to see her as much as my other bridesmaids but she does come down quite often to visit family, etc. She even stays with us and treats our place like a hotel during most visits! FI wants me to just 'vote her off the island' but I feel like I'll lose a friend over it. She just refuses to talk wedding or participate in dress shopping or anything! This past weekend I went dress shopping with my BM's and she didn't even have the courtesy to returns my call/text/email to say she couldn't make it. We just assumed she was busy and carried on. We send her pictures and asked for her feedback but I have yet to hear from her. I have sent her a total of 2 emails, 4 text messages, and left her 3 voicemails. I just dont' know what to do with her!! She's booked her trip so I know she's coming to the wedding but I feel that she's just coming for the trip and to party, not really to be there with me for my wedding.

 

So sorry about the long rant but I feel a little better now!  

[SKing24]

Oh Dilara I am so sorry.  I feel bad that I was complaining about my BM now because your situation is even more complicated!  I really hope your sisters do get to go, and I am sorry you mom is not being supportive.  When it comes to your friend, i think you should say something.  If you've been friends for that long, you need to let her know how you feel.

I thought destination weddings were supposed to be less stressful, but i am constantly stressed!!

[SKing24]

When it comes to my BM (who is my cousin), I definitely feel like she could just let her profs know she's going to be out for 2 days and if there are any midterms those days she could take them early.  I know she misses class just b/c she was out partying the night before or whatever, so thats why it hurts my feelings that she's making a big deal out of "midterms".  But oh well, it's my wedding and i am going to try to not worry about anyone else (even though its really hard)!

 

Richarsd, I am sorry about your BM too.  Why are people so selfish??  And I know it's not good to hear anyone else is going through rough times with wedding planning but I guess it's nice to talk to other people who understand.  Let's just F* 'em and worry about nothing else except having fun weddings with people who care enough to show up!

[Monique]

WOWZA...that's unfortunate...a friend of mine who just got married on August 21st just requested one of her bridesmaids step down...she was causing way too much drama and she asked her two weeks before the wedding to step down (it was not a nice pleasant convo lots of yelling etc.)!   So you have to do what you need to. It's unfortunate that she was unable to go but without making judgements I would just ask her to give you a firm answer sooner than later about her intentions and ability to attend...I think it is way nice and very generous that you are paying ($800) towards their travel...However in the end all that matters is that you and FH are there together! Good luck with the conversation...May the GODS be with you!

[want2gosouth]

Just wanted to say that it is insanely generous of you to put $800 towards their trip!!