Gutted and just need to get it out!! (long)

[Hartyt509]

So as most of you know FI is in the army.

 

I get a call this morning from him in tears! One of his m8s has been killed in Afghanistan I feel really bad but then he tells me who it is.

 

I've known his kid since he was 10 his mum is one of my closest friends and she lives for her kids. I'm so gutted and angry - keep bursting into tears and remembering the hugs he used to give me and the cracks to the back of the head I used to give him lol

 

I've had to sit at work all day and listen to people piss and whinge on and all I want to do is slap them and tell them they are breathing so to shut the fuck up!!

 

Some arsehole even said to me oh tomorrow will be a better day!! my response "oh will he suddenly spring back to life like"" - needless to say i'm not answering my phone and people are staying away from me because I'm a powder keg about to blow.

 

I feel soooo guilty I introduced him to my FI and FI got him into his corps now I wish i'd said no way i'm not helping you.

 

I've upset loads of my friends 2 and am gonna have to make loads of calls apologising lol I'm not religious in any way but I respect other people's views and normally it doesn't bother me but I swear if one more person says "god moves in mysterious ways" I won't be responsible for my actions - please no-one take offence to this like I said I respect all people's religions but when you aren't religious it can be too hard to swallow when your head is up your arse and you feel like someone has ripped out your guts.

 

And to think i've got all this to go through again when FI goes in a few months!!! Why the hell am I marrying a squaddie lol

[Amarillis]

Wow... Firsly I am so sorry for your loss.

 

I consider myself religious, and thought I'd tell you that your comments don't offend.

 

It is understandable that you are angry and upset.

 

Hang in there.

[Jacqueline]

SO so sorry to hear this...it is heart breaking. Dont feel guilty at all! It's absolutely not your fault.

 

No offense taken to you being angry at people's comments about "God works in mysterious ways". I'm Catholic and have too lost close friends, and I have felt like freaking out when people say that to me too, trust me. It just don't make any sense! I guess it's just part of the healing process. They are just trying to comfort you ya know, so try to let it roll. Again Im terribly sorry and my heart goes out to his family and you guys ( I'm sure you had great memories so cherish them ;o) Big hugs to you!

[Banana11]

I'm sorry for your loss...

[~Melissa~]

A squaddle? hehehe sorry had to giggle never heard that term before.

 

Well I know there are no words that i can type to comfort you but I wish i could give you a big hug. What a horrible thing to be going through. Please don't blame yourself though for getting him involved in the corps, he made his own choice and died for our freedom. An amazing sacrifice. My DH is in the Air Force and I am so blessed to have met such wonderful people putting their lives on the line for our freedom.

 

IN the mean time, vent away, we're here for you! I'm so very sorry for your loss. Big hugs coming your way!

[Christi]

Harty,

 

I'm so sorry for your loss, and as Mel said, there are no words that can make it better, but please know you are in my thoughts...

[becks]

Oh Marie! I am so, so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how you're feeling. I wish I was there to give you a hug and buy you a big glass of wine.

 

Don't worry about the people you're afraid you've offended. They all know that you're hurting and will forgive you. That's just what friends do.

 

Big hugs, and lots of love.

[boscobel]

I am so so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.

[Yari]

I am so sorry! I wish there was something I could do to help.

[Maura]

oh marie, i am so sorry for your loss. i cant even imagine what you're feeling like right now. you'll be in my thoughts. vent away as much as you like, we're here to listen.