rant about the difficulty of a destination wedding

[Hartyt509]

People will always complain so as everyone else has said - pick a date and hotel that YOU and FI want - sod the rest of them, if they don't come its their prob not yours and if you want to look on the really dark side think of the cash you'll save lmao

[JoLo908]

It's true... you can't make everyone else happy... As I told my mother jokingly, my friends could ask me to dress up in a clown suit and do the hokey pokey for four hours... wouldn't be my cup of tea, but I wouldn't give them crap about it... if that is what their vision and happiness is, give me the red nose! And if i didn't feel up to donning the suit, I would still wish them the best, not give them a hard time!

 

This forum helps a lot to decide location and other factors of which destination is right for the two of you!

[evtalbot]

I definitely agree with all the great advice on here so far. I can completely sympathize with how you feel. I have been looking in Cabo also, and ideally wanted an AI for 4 nights under $1000.... well, that isn't looking so hot, especially with the plane tickets being so expensive!!! My mom says if she spends $$$ on a trip, they won't be giving us a wedding present. Some of my close friends are not going to be able to afford to make it. Lots of people say they "wish" we'd have it here.... oh, the pressure! Like someone else suggested, we have decided to price out how much a "small" wedding will be here, just to explore all of our options. Already it is looking EXPENSIVE, and

I am NOT thrilled about having to go through a different vendor for for flowers, cake, photography, transportation, ceremony and reception.... I totally love the "all you have to do is show up" motto of a destination wedding.

 

One thing I learned to do is stop asking other people for advice. Unless they have been to the resort you pick, they are going to be less than excited (until they get there of course!!). Everyone will have their advice and input, and before you know it, you are everyone's personal travel agent instead of trying to plan the wedding of your dreams. I am sure if you and FI focus on each other and what you want, your family will come around. They might not be happy the day that they book their plane fare, but they will be happy once they see that you had the wedding you wanted.

 

It definitely takes a lot of guts, so be brave and good luck!

[Kelly C]

Everyone else has already pretty much covered it. Everyone has an opinion. At first everyone said they were going with us. Then when we sent out the information it was just my immidate family. FI parents were even saying they weren't going to be able to make it. We did not ive any information on other resorts. I think we picked a reasonable prices hotel with good options. Now were up to 26 people and still counting. So make it what you want, if they really want to be there they will. You will NEVER be able to make everyone happy. As soon as I realized that things were alot easier.

[beachbride08]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoLo908 It's true... you can't make everyone else happy... As I told my mother jokingly, my friends could ask me to dress up in a clown suit and do the hokey pokey for four hours... wouldn't be my cup of tea, but I wouldn't give them crap about it... if that is what their vision and happiness is, give me the red nose! And if i didn't feel up to donning the suit, I would still wish them the best, not give them a hard time! This forum helps a lot to decide location and other factors of which destination is right for the two of you!

Well put!!!!

[rodent]

I picked a less expensive AI & let people decide how long they wanted to stay. We made sure our parents were happy & then just told everyone else they could come if they wanted. I did spend a lot of time feeling guilty at first, but it was a waste of time. I made it easy for people to opt out. in the end we had 23 guests & a wonderful time. I really didn't want more than that. a big appeal to a DW for me was having it small.

 

People actually thanked us for having a DW. They said it was the best vacation they had been on. So many people wrote that in our guest book.

 

So I wish I would have not spent the first few months full of guilt & worries. It was a wonderul vacation for all of us. I am so happy I stuck with the DW plans.

 

Oh, & people kept raving about the value of staying at an AI. Many had never been to an AI & they couldn't get over all the stuff included. my dad was the funniest. He kept trying to pay for everything & kept saying, "this is included?!?"

[KLC77]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morgan He kept trying to pay for everything & kept saying, "this is included?!?"

Morgan, your dad must've been so cute!

[rodent]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KLC77 Morgan, your dad must've been so cute!

it was so funny. we were having dinner at one of the specialty restaurants & he got the waiters attention & told him to put mine & mike's on his bill. My friend overheard & told my dad it was included. So he exclaimed, "well in that case, put it all on my bill."

Right after we went to have ice cream & he said, "ok now this we have to pay for, right?"

[JoLo908]

When you tell people that you are saving so much and still having a beautiful wedding (your close relatives, probably a little tacky to give the price rundown to everyone lol) they will totally understand. We do not want to start our new lives in major debt, and still have a wonderful wedding!

[DanielleNDerek]

Everyone had great comments and mine are pretty much the same.

 

Don't worry about EVERYONE. First worry about you and your fi, then your parents. When we started planning we just looked at the dates that were good for us, then asked our parents if they could make it, and checked with our siblings. That's it. We didn't worry about anyone else. If there are certain people that you definately want there then check with them but you don't take everyone into consideration. And you pick a resort, if people want to stay somewhere else they still can you would just have to pay the day pass or let the guests pay them (that's up to you). Once you pick your date and resort send out a STD with a letter explaining that this the resort your staying at, it's all inclusive, prices (or estimates), and let them know they can stay there or somewhere else. If people really want to go, they will.

 

In the end, you and your fi have to be happy. you don't want to look back at your wedding and wish you had it somewhere else.