Last minute legal day!! Help!

[lucy106]

So because of my recent need to leave my job on a disability I am going to be without insurance. COBRA would cost $500 per month so we have decided to go ahead and just have a legal day here so I can get on my FI's insurance before I leave my job. Because we are both police officers one of our favorite judges has said she would do the ceremony in her chambers. So.... I feel very guilty that this has to be done because of me. Does it make the DW day any less special? We really arent going to tell anyone (if I can keep it in) I guess because I dont want our DW to seem fake to anyone, did anyone feel this way? and lastly is it dumb to get dressed up because it is in the judge's chambers and if I do get dressed up, what is appropriate to wear, especially since it is just us? I mean can I get my hair done, or is that dumb? Ugh I mean I am excited to be his wife but this isnt how it was suppose to be!!! I dont want 11/08/08 to lose the emotion!

[1elephant]

it's your day - do whatever you want! everyone here did something different. some people go alone, some bring tons of people, some just sign the papers, and some actually have a ceremony.

we brought our immediate family and bil's fiance. we went to lunch after. dh wore jeans, i wore a cute white sundress (in january...). our anniversary is 2.16.08, the day we got married in pv.

get your hair done and consider it a hair trial, if you want.

[KLC77]

I agree you could totally get your hair done and use it as a trial. Wear whatever makes you comfortable. Dress up if you want. A cute sundress would be awesome. Good luck. I'm having the same dilemma about not telling anyone once we do it. I'll want to tell everyone!

[foxytv]

We had a friend who is a Notary come to another friends house and all we did was literally sign the marriage license. I was in shorts and a t-shirt and so was Tom. We were drinking beer and toasted to champagne. lol. We did it so super-casual b/c we didn't want to take away from our DW date. So, our 'real' wedding day, to us and everyone else, is our DW date.

[Maura]

honestly, i am glad i got legally married before our DW. i am so much more chill now than i was before, so i wont be nervous on our wedding day. we only consider our DW our anniversary. your legal day can be as big a deal or as small a deal as you want it to be - if you wanna get your hair done, have that be your hair trial. go celebrate with a dinner afterwards. nobody ever has to know but you two. it wont take anything away from your DW at all.

[NotYourAverageDW]

Honestly? Go for it. Remember your DW is a celebration of your love , unity and commitment for you and your family and friends. Your legal day doesn't diminish that.

 

Sometimes life gets in the way, but you can have both. Your family and friends will understand and will still be thrilled to go and celebrate with you at your destination.

 

That said...pamper yourself and get all dressed up if you want! Use your hair and make-up trial. Have some photos taken (even if it's in a series of photo booths- for a fun electic factor). Do a nice evening; maybe dinner, a show, or make it a fun day, with a fair or art lessons etc.

 

Have fun, your DW will be here before you know it!

[AmandaR]

I agree with everyone's posts. DH and I were legally married before our DW bc he lost his job just 6 weeks before the wedding and we needed to make sure he had medical insurance "just in case".

 

We wore business casual clothes like we would wear to the office and went out to dinner to celebrate. Because our day was so spur of the moment (DH lost job Thursday, we got marriage license Friday, and were married the following Tuesday), we didn't set out to make it terribly special. I actually had to attend a work function 2 hours away that day, so we got married and I went to work - very romantic!

 

Our legal day in no way took away the meaningfulness of our DW ceremony. In fact, I have trouble remembering the date of our legal ceremony half the time, and I know that DH certainly doesn't remember. For us, it's our wedding in Jamaica with our families that counts.

 

My mom is the only one who knows about our legal wedding, and she actually thinks it's quite funny that we were "married" before actually getting "married."

 

Bottom line is that you can really do whatever you want for legal day. There's no right or wrong - kind of like planning a DW.

[lucy106]

Thanks guys! As usual you are making me feel a lot better about all this!!

[Sandra E.]

Lucy, it will not make your DW any less special if you do this, the way I see it it's not any different from getting married at home before your DW which is what we did. Enjoy your day! It'll also be very special!