1st Time Parents vs. 2nd Time Parents

[Jessica]

FIRST TIME PARENTS:

 

Wife: Honey, look!!!!!!

 

Husband: OH MY GOD!!!!! THERE'S A BLUE LINE!!!!! WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY!!!!!

 

Wife: I think I'm gonna cry.....

 

Husband: Me too.....

 

SECOND TIME PARENTS:

 

Wife: Uhhhhhhh.....You might want to take a look at this.....

 

Husband: I'm not touching that.....You peed on it.

 

Wife: There's a blue line.....

 

Husband: Is that the good one?

 

Wife: No.

 

Husband: I'm gonna go buy another one.

 

Wife: Get TWO!!!!

 

 

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FIRST TIME PARENTS:

 

Wife: YOU are going to be the best dad ever....

 

Husband: And, YOU are going to be a terrific mom....

 

SECOND TIME PARENTS:

 

Husband: Well, I guess we're going to have to start investing in more wine, so that you can....uh....relax your nerves, huh?

 

Wife: Yeah, and let's try and remember to NOT put the baby in the dryer for a....What was it?....RIDE?

 

 

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FIRST TIME PARENTS:

 

Wife: This is amazing.

 

Husband: It's a miracle is what it is. We weren't even trying.

 

 

SECOND TIME PARENTS:

 

Husband: You stopped taking your pill, didn't you....That's how THIS happened.

 

Wife: Really? Do you think? 'Cuz, I was leaning more toward the "HUNDRED CONDOMS FOR A BUCK" sale, at the Dollar Store, that SOMEONE got so excited about.

 

Husband: Hey!!! MOST of them weren't torn.

 

 

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FIRST TIME PARENTS:

 

Husband: You get more beautiful with every passing month.

 

Wife: I love going to sleep in your arms.

 

 

SECOND TIME PARENTS:

 

Husband: I'm gonna go sleep in the other room.

 

Wife: Good idea. You MIGHT actually wake up alive.

 

 

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FIRST TIME PARENTS:

 

Wife: Honey.....Wake up....I think it's time.

 

 

SECOND TIME PARENTS:

 

Wife: Get up, Bonehead....I'm not driving myself.

 

 

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FIRST TIME PARENTS:

 

Husband: You're doing great, honey. Just keep pushing.....You're doing terrific.

 

 

SECOND TIME PARENTS:

 

Husband: Can we speed this up, at all?

 

Wife: GET..........OUT............

 

 

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FIRST TIME PARENTS:

 

Wife: Oh my God!!! He looks just like my father.....

 

Husband: He's beautiful!!!

 

 

SECOND TIME PARENTS:

 

Wife: God, they ALL look like little old men when their born.

 

Husband: It's hard to look at.

 

 

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FIRST TIME PARENTS:

 

Husband: You're gonna be daddy's little quarterback, aren't you?

 

 

SECOND TIME PARENTS:

 

Husband: You're gonna mow the lawn on the weekend, so daddy can sleep in, aren't you?

 

 

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FIRST TIME PARENTS:

 

Wife: I'm gonna take you for long walks, all around the neighborhood, so that everyone can see my little man.

 

 

SECOND TIME PARENTS:

 

Wife: Crap.....It's gonna be 15 years before I'll be able to sleep past 8am, on a weekend.

 

 

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FIRST TIME PARENTS:

 

Wife: I want to have a hundred more kids with you.

 

Husband: And I want to have a thousand more, with you.

 

 

SECOND TIME PARENTS:

 

Husband: Uhhhh......This is the last one, right?

 

Wife: Oh, you're getting a vasectomy, next week. Or, I swear to GOD, I will cut it off while you sleep.

[starchild]

LMAO!! That was too funny Jessica!

[1elephant]

lol sounds like lots of parents i know

[Tara]

Hahaha! I love it.

[ErinB]

Too Funny! I'm sending this to all of my friends with kiddos!

[RiuBride2b]

Definitely a great joke of the day. I'm going to copy and paste it so that I can email it to my co-workers.

[Jessica]

I pretty much said this after Aiden was born:

 

Wife: Oh, you're getting a vasectomy, next week. Or, I swear to GOD, I will cut it off while you sleep.

[LisaG]

OMG - that is greatness!!

[Betsy]

That was hilarious! Seriously LOL right now! Thanks, I needed that.

[DreaW]

lolololol, I'm sending this to my BIL lol (they just got pregnant)