So Upset - Dad doesn't want to come to my wedding!!

[RAENJAY]

I was just talking with my dad about some things, and I mentioned something about the wedding, and he said very casually ~ "Well, I haven't even decided if I'm going to come or not" - to which my reply was "But you have to be there to give me away" - and he said, well if I'm there, I'll give you away, but I won't promise that I am even going to go.

 

Does this surprise me, no not really, he's not one for weddings - thinks they are a waste of money, and he doesn't really "like" the beach, it's just not his thing. I guess I'm just really surprised that he might not actually come. I know that mom booked the room for 3 people (I have a 16 year old brother) so she thinks he's going....

 

I guess I'll just walk myself down the aisle...........

[TammyWright]

stephanie,

 

i am so sorry...that must be so upsetting..i am sure he will come but i am sure it hurt just the thought that he is considering NOT GOING.

 

have you talked to your mom about it? told her how important it is for him to walk you down the aisle.

[RAENJAY]

Oh yes, mom and I have talked about it.... And my dad is just well, odd - he's my stepdad (they got married when I was 5) and we haven't always been that close - esp. when I was younger, but I thought we had a better relationship now. I know that mom will try to force him to come, which will make them fight. I would rather he if he doesn't want to, then don't. Will it hurt? Yes, but..... Is 16 too young for my little brother to give me away? He'll be 17 next summer.........

[Jennifer]

Too bad your step dad doesn't seem so excited about participating. Your brother could step in to give you away. I don't think he is too young. I went to a wedding not long ago and her son gave her away and he was 11 I think at the time.

[TammyWright]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RAENJAY Oh yes, mom and I have talked about it.... And my dad is just well, odd - he's my stepdad (they got married when I was 5) and we haven't always been that close - esp. when I was younger, but I thought we had a better relationship now. I know that mom will try to force him to come, which will make them fight. I would rather he if he doesn't want to, then don't. Will it hurt? Yes, but..... Is 16 too young for my little brother to give me away? He'll be 17 next summer.........

i think if you and your brother are close then it doesn't matter how old he is...it will be more significant having someone who loves you and understands the importance of walking you down the aisle be there. it will be your stepfathers loss.

my best friend just got married on sat. and her dad did not walk her down the aisle. her mom did, and her mom was so proud and beaming, it was beautiful.

[TammyB]

I feel your pain, both my parents won't be coming to our wedding. BUT I wouldn't have my Dad walk me down the isle even if he was there. So I'll be walking by myself, with my sights set on my soon to be hubby.. :-)

 

Have someone who means the most to you walk you down the isle, regardless if their family or not, mother or father, whatever. To me it's a privledge not a right. I'm sure in the end it will all work out.

[RAENJAY]

Thanks girls, I knew that you would understand where I am coming from.... I think I'll wait until the wedding is closer we've got a while to go, and make my decision. I'll keep you posted on the drama.

 

OH, Jay thinks that mom set me up, I was telling him the story over dinner tonight, and he thinks that when mom made the reservations last night dad told her he wasn't going to go and so that's why she wanted me to call my dad - Might be....

[A10CalGal]

Sorry you even have to experience these feelings Stephanie. It seems a bit early for him to be making all these declarations. I hope he ends up going after all & has a blast.

 

I have a somewhat similar situation. My parents got divorced when I was like 5 and my real father died several years ago. I've never really had a father per-se, which is sad in all kinds of ways for me, but something I've gotten past. My mom has a "new" husband now -they've been together for over 10 years & finally married last year. ANyway, I really wanted him to walk me down the aisle, but at this point I don't even think he will be there. He & my mom are in this huge conflict over life issues and they basically aren't speaking (for over 2 months now). That situation in itself stresses me out because I want my mom to be happy. It just sucks. But I realize it's not about me, and that helps.

 

The moral of my long ass story is, you can't control other people & their issues, but you can realize that it has absolutely nothing to do with you - it's their "stuff."

[RAENJAY]

Quote:

Originally Posted by A10CALGAL The moral of my long ass story is, you can't control other people & their issues, but you can realize that it has absolutely nothing to do with you - it's their "stuff."

You are so absolutely right.... Let him be at home and I'll have a wonderful wedding he'll be sorry he missed...

Sorry to hear you going through so much right now too... Why can't we all just get along?

[A10CalGal]

I know! I've decided that there must be some rule of the universe that says for every happily engaged couple on the planet there must be an inversely proportionate # of people with issues that come crashing down on them! I swear, since I got engaged in April, my best friend has filed for divorce (married fo 10+ years!) and my mom has stopped talking to her husband completely - she actually move into my old place after I move in with FI. WTF??