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Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette


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My fiance's daughter's wedding was Friday. Not a destination wedding, but rather a huge princess wedding of monumental proportions. Well, the rehearsal dinner was on Thursday night. I was all set with my new dress and shoes. At 10:30 the night before she called, waking her father, to tell him that I was not invited to the rehearsal dinner. It was for wedding party only. Understand, her wedding party was the entire family, all aunts and uncles and their spouses, as well as attendants. She was having a family procession before the attendants came down the aisle. According to her I am not family yet, even though we are engaged. I was not to be in any family pictures, either. At one point she didn't even want me sitting with her father, who was supposed to be at the "family" table. She has not seen her real mother in more than ten years, so that wasn't even an issue. I would not let her father tell her I contributed more than $5000 to help out with the wedding. I did it to help him.

 

I guess I got the message.

 

Just wanted to vent. This thread seemed like a good place.

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We did a welcome party also for all 85 of the guests and that was so much fun. Honestly, the rehearsal dinner was fast and low-key. I made it a "come if you feel like it" sort of invitation because I felt bad monopolizing my guests vacation (Wed. - welcome party, Thurs. - rehearsal, Fri. - wedding) who were only there for 4 nights.

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I had 40 guests and invited them all to the Rehearsal Dinner. I didn't have a large wedding party (just one MH and BM) so I opened the dinner to everyone. It was more like a private reception with special menu, bartenders, etc. (Oh, our dinner was also free, so I didn't have to consider the numbers...)

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Quote:
Originally Posted by petunia View Post
My fiance's daughter's wedding was Friday. Not a destination wedding, but rather a huge princess wedding of monumental proportions. Well, the rehearsal dinner was on Thursday night. I was all set with my new dress and shoes. At 10:30 the night before she called, waking her father, to tell him that I was not invited to the rehearsal dinner. It was for wedding party only. Understand, her wedding party was the entire family, all aunts and uncles and their spouses, as well as attendants. She was having a family procession before the attendants came down the aisle. According to her I am not family yet, even though we are engaged. I was not to be in any family pictures, either. At one point she didn't even want me sitting with her father, who was supposed to be at the "family" table. She has not seen her real mother in more than ten years, so that wasn't even an issue. I would not let her father tell her I contributed more than $5000 to help out with the wedding. I did it to help him.

I guess I got the message.

Just wanted to vent. This thread seemed like a good place.
Well you should have let him tell her the spoilt brat!! That's just nasty and hurtful - FMIL's new arsehole is coming to ours and I can't stand the miserable sod but thats just the way it is xx
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