Ceremony and AHR agony... What should i do?

[Hartyt509]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cattie oh Cat, I so know how you feel. Right now I'm going through hell with my FMIL I'm about to scream. I spent an hour and a half yesterday crying in my bedroom, another 20 mins before yelling at my FI, and another 30 mins in texts to my MOH to regain my sanity. The only thing I can think of is just putting your foot down and not caring who you piss off. Thats what I'm about to do. We're having an AHR to keep his family happy. Not my choice, now his mother wants to dictate where we're having it. I've come to the conclusion that keeping everyone happy is only going to make me miserable and not want to get married in the long run so I've decided to say f**k them! This is OUR wedding, not yours. You should be happy we're not running away and coming back to say "hi, we're married"

I soooo agree.

We've upset so many people by just saying we are inviting a few people only and its who we want not who the family want. If you don't like it sorry but its not your decision. Its our life and we will run it the way we want to!

FMIL was having a right go at one of her daughters apparently saying she had so many brothers and sisters SHE wanted to invite!! she won't tell me to my face because the answer will be go screw yourself! She's just had her wedding (another one!!) so she can poke off!!

Stick to your guns chick - just say to her if you don't lay off you are missing out on a lot and if you want an AHR so much you fecking well pay for it!! that will shut her the hell up lol

[JHarwood2Be]

I think if your parents are ok with it, then continue on with your plans. His brothers sound like a pain in the @ss. I would not change anything just so they could be included. You said they invited themselves, but have they booked? I say stick to your guns and do what you want to do. Do the AHR if it will be something that the both of you would enjoy. Is your family planning on attending? This is what you both want and will be the most happy with. The others will get over it!

[KLC77]

So, I didn't read anyone else's responses, but I would tell everyone to go SCREW! lol The people who should be happy that day are you and FI. If those people love you then they should want you to be happy. I think next time you hear something about it you should come straight out and say you don't want to hear it and how disappointing it is to have people who you thought loved and supported you both trying to intentionally make you feel bad. It is not about them... it is about the two of you.

[catandcleo]

Thanks so much everyone for your encouragement and advice. We are still a bit on the fence about everything, but i am feeling a bit better after the weekend. I had a very long talk with the best man about everything that is going on. He has known FI and the family for 25+years, so is fully qualified to speak out about their behaviour!

 

He said basically what a lot of you are saying - the brothers are just looking to create drama - as they have been doing since childhood. And the friends that are supposedly complaining - well, it's more the wives of longtime childhood friends, and who really cares? If the guys they have been friends with since middle school had a problem with it - they wouldn't hesitate to say so. Since they haven't, we have to assume that something is being blown out of proportion by someone else.

 

We shouldn't let a few [censored] ruin our plans.

 

It still is upsetting, and i still feel hurt that some people are acting like this, but from now on i am going to make a concerted effort to ignore any negativity and anyone who says anything to me directly will be promptly told where to go.

 

Thanks again everyone!!! And those of you having similar issues - good luck to you!

Ashrose's comment sums it all up perfectly: "they will either come around to the idea or find something else to be upset about (I find that people have short term memory and eventually find something more sensational to gripe about)."