Guest Woes.... HELP!

[Maura]

sorry but your mom needs to grow a pair - if she already was sent an invitation, youre shit out of luck about her coming to the wedding. second, your mom needs to tell her that she & your dad are taking a private vacation after the wedding JUST THE TWO OF THEM to celebrate their anniversary, end of story. your mom will not be available at all to spend time with anne.

[Allaballa]

I think you should call Anne and say that your mom and dad need to spend the second week together and you recommend that she only books for one week.

[DanielleNDerek]

This is going to get ugly. Is Ann going by herself for two weeks?

 

I think your mom needs to be the one to say something to her.

[Amarillis]

this is the problem... Anne is single, and is going alone... and she knows no one else that coming.

 

she is a long time friend of my mom's and my mom really is her only friend. I know it is hard on my mom and she doesn't want to upset her.

 

this is the challenge. I on the other hand, feel like I CAN be the heavy and tell her something... I like the idea of suggesting she only stay for a week... or not at all...

 

:S

[seaprincess]

Hmmm, this is a bit sticky....

 

We had a woman (friend of the FMIL) who was not invited b/c my FI's dad did not want her to come b/c she's a child and hangs off of my FMIL and it is mostly family going anyways.

 

It was explained to her that it is all family except a few very close friends of mine and my FI.

 

She had the nerve to tell my future parents in law that it was a big resort, and if she wanted to go, they couldn't stop her. To which they responded, but the wedding is private.

 

She followed that up with, "well I've been to resorts with weddings on the beach, and if I wanted to watch, no one would be able to stop me"!

 

Fortunetly her husband has enough brains to stop her in her tracks and tell her to grow up, but I know I'm going to hear it from her this weekend when I see them. Can't wait to tell her that it would be strange (and rude) to attend a wedding she wasn't invited to.

 

Anyways, sorry for the hijack, but my point is I feel ya.

 

The thing is, this woman obviously isn't aware she isn't welcome, or chooses to be oblivious, so someone needs to let her in. It might mean more if you tell her yourself b/c you are the bride and this whole thing is happening for you (and your FI). She may be able to push your mom around, but would she try it with you?

 

It is even tougher if she received an invitation. Good luck!

[ashrose]

I think I could echo almost everyone else's thoughts -- this really needs to be handled by your mom. I think, if I'm not mistaken, traditionally, the parents of the bride handle receiving RSVPs anyway... so really, this comes down to your mom needing to clean up the mess.

 

If she is unwilling to do that, I recomend hiring an escort for Anne... kinda like in that movie where she hires the date for her sister's wedding. Yeah... just pay the escort REALLY well to keep Anne out of your hair.... and have him "forget" and schedule a LONG sunset boat cruise during the wedding and reception.

 

...have your mom pay for it.

[Hartyt509]

How about saying "mother you cocked up - you sort it" if she bottles it which she will lol you tell her straight

 

This is why you should never have let your mother do a list of people she wanted there lmao

 

Be a total bitch like me and say she's getting an invitation under sufference so her mates can piss off lol

[Dez921714]

Wow, this sucks!

 

I agree that if your mom invited her, and your mom doesn't want her there, then your mom should tell her.

 

On the other hand your mom probably won't.

 

Maybe if you call her and tell her something like this...

 

"I don't think my parents were going to say anythign because they don't want to hurt your feelings, but they are planning to spend the second week of the vacation, just the two of them...sort of like a second honeymoon to celebrate their 35th anniversary. I just wanted you to know that, so if you do book for the whole two weeks, you know that they'll be out and about doing their own thing. You are invited with a guest, so if you want to bring a friend or family member or something you're more than welcome to".

 

of course, that's if she is invited with a guest.

[Amarillis]

Ok... bottom line - I can't leave this up to my mom.

 

My mom really is her ONLY friend - and the woman is a greiving widow (for ten years), and is unstable, she really relies on my mom - and as much as she is a pain in the @, she is still human and telling her to take a hike really isn't an option.

 

Today I had to address the situation, and I called her.

 

It went fairly well, but it isn't over.

 

Me: Hey Anne, I am calling to discuss the booking situation we have gotten ourselves into. As mum may have told you, we have booked enough space for our family and it is on reserve. Space for friends has been made available, but there is no friend space left. My TA is working closely with the tour operator to try and obtain more space, but this has proved to be challenging.

 

Anne: Well, I completely understand - family comes first, and I would not want any of your family left behind on account of my presence there. You know I'd love to be there, but if it isn't in the cards I understand - If there is a family member on the wait list behind me, please let them have my space - I'll pray for you the day of the wedding.

 

Me: Thanks for all your understanding Anne, I hope to get this worked out - Talk soon.

 

 

OMG --- I feel like a bag of doggie doo doo - after talking to her I almost wanted her there... wow this is really not in her character to be so understanding. I hope that this feeling echos into the days to come.

 

I called my mom to let her know that the situation may be diverted and she is thrilled that there is no bloodshed.

[DanielleNDerek]

Wow she took that really well. i wonder if she will complain to your mom.