How old were you when you got engaged?

Pisces · July 20, 2008

I was 26, he was 31 and we had been together for 6 years, living together for 3. While we both knew from the beginning that we would get married (and we discussed it openly), I went through a time of insecurity in my early 20's (as so many people do) of pressuring him to do it then, and feeling very upset that we weren't getting married after a couple of years. He felt very strongly about waiting until we were older and it felt more like the "right" time. When we were both more established financially and in our careers. I am so glad we did wait, and honestly, my reasons for marrying him back then would have been VERY different from my reasons today. Back then we would have been getting married for the "show"- to prove the validity of our relationship to others, to "feel" like a grown-up, and basically to feed into my insecurities about myself and the strength of our relationship. Now that we have endured many ups and downs, and grown together throughout our 20's, I can say without a doubt that we are getting married entirely for us and that is partly why neither of us feel the need for a big showy wedding at home. There's nothing wrong with those, but I think I would have definitely wanted one like that when I was younger in order to prove something. Now I feel like I am entering this marriage with complete confidence and no need to show off anything.

I should add, that a DW is really in line with our personalities. Neither of us like to be in the spotlight. So it would not have been right for me to have had a big wedding in my early 20's. But I would have done it out of feelings of insecurity.

sndyndln · July 20, 2008

I was 19 when I was first engaged, dated for three months, married in 9. Not something I advise. I'm sure it works for some, but not for me. Stayed together for four years. We're done with that now. . .

Now I've been dating someone for two and a half years, know that he is my type and will make me happy for the rest of my life. We will get married Next June (of 2009). And I am currently 26.