Invited to shower but not wedding...

[Taradactyle]

I got invited to a co-worker's bridal shower at work (all the women were invited) but wasn't invited to her wedding. How much or how big of a gift is appropriate? I really don't mind giving her a gift because she's really nice and always helpful, but I just don't want her to feel obligated to get me anything for my wedding... What to do? Also, is it ok to have a shower and invite people not invited to the wedding?

[Tara]

Well, it's definitely not proper etiquette to invite people to your shower that you are not inviting to your wedding, but more and more people seem to be doing it.

 

I understand wanting to include people in your big day or the planning of it, but that's what a separate reception that is held after wedding or casual BBQ is designed to do. Inviting people to your shower and not the wedding can sometimes be construed as digging for gifts.

 

To each his or her own.

[starchild]

Traditionally I think that's a no-no but you mentioned it's a work shower? Not sure what the etiquette is as far as inviting the whole job to the wedding...I wouldn't think you have to?

 

I would spend $30-40 tops on a co-worker's shower gift unless they were good friends with me...and if I caught a good sale I would have no problem spending $15-20.

[1elephant]

Quote:

Originally Posted by starchild Traditionally I think that's a no-no but you mentioned it's a work shower? Not sure what the etiquette is as far as inviting the whole job to the wedding...I wouldn't think you have to? I would spend $30-40 tops on a co-worker's shower gift unless they were good friends with me...and if I caught a good sale I would have no problem spending $15-20.

i agree. my school threw a shower for me, and they weren't invited to my wedding! we also threw a shower for a colleague. we collected about $10 from each person and got a group gift. then each person - if they wanted to - brought something little. personally, unless they were a close colleague, i wouldn't spend more than $30.

[manda0812]

I'm all for a group work gift, get the girls to all chip in and then buy her something nice. that way rather than her getting 20 $20 gifts, she gets one really nice one.

[Alyssa]

i agree w/ Tara and Starchild!

[neen]

For work showers, group gifts are definitely the way to go. If that's not an option, I'd get a gift card ($25) to the store where she is registered.

[Jacqueline]

imo- i would think it was alil weird if you were invited to her family and friends shower and not invited to wedding. BUT since this is a "work" shower i dont think it's odd. we had a small shower for a girl here who recently got married and no one was invited to wedding, we just did it for her, as our gift. in fact, that has happened a few times at my old job. as far as a gift, grab her a cute frame, gift card, anything simple is perfect. its the thought that counts ;o)

[DanielleNDerek]

I work in a really small office so i don't know much about work showers but that sounds like a nice idea. I wouldn't spend too much maybe $30/40 like others suggested.

[happygilmore]

It's a hard situation because I know there are people who want to be invited to my shower but aren't invited to the wedding but they also know we had limited spaces to invite people and that we are doing an at home reception but regardless you still feel weird inviting them! But I would say $30-40 bucks would be good!