Last name confusion!

[TammyB]

Well I'm super excited about changing my last name, when I got a divorce years ago I never changed back to my maiden name, so I still have my ex-s last name, I asked them during our divorce is they would mind that I keep it and they didn't have a problem with it (were are still close, and they treat me like their only daughter still) But I think Cain's last name is really pretty, so I'm looking forward to the change.

[deleted]

I think if you don't want to change your name, then don't. I'm sure you will still get called Mrs. HusbandsName in public but you can legally keep your own name - plenty of women do it.

 

I chose to move my maiden name to my middle name, so it's still there. Honestly, I am still slowly moving over. I would say I'm about halfway there.

[saraece]

I can sympathize. I am not sure what i will do yet. My Fi has a french last name, I am not french so I say it with an english accent. We live in Ottawa with is a very billingual city. Once when giving his name at the hospital the nurse felt she needed to correct me. I was so insulted, what if that was my last name can you imagine someone telling you said your own name wrong??

We also have a daughter (20 months old) who has his last name and often when filing things out or signing anything I have to ask "when you say last name do you mean hers or mine?" The usually I get a new form to accomadate the issue. I don't know. I am leaning towards his name as it will be easier with my daughter.

My sister kept her last name and a year after she was married, her husband changed his last name to hers for their anniversary. He had no attachment to it, as he didn't know his father. Now my niece and nephew have my last name!

[Fotini]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JANET1111 I'm sure you will still get called Mrs. HusbandsName in public but you can legally keep your own name - plenty of women do it.

i think Janet is right, no matter what you, there will still be poeple that address you with your husbands name. You cant really stop that from happening.

just a little off topic.. I get so many things addressed to Mr. Fotini, it drives me nuts!

[Rachelle E.]

I grew up with a hyphenated last name ( and a fairly long one at that) so I was super excited to change mine and have just ONE last name after getting married....but it helps that his last name is a nice, normal, easy to spell/say name. One friend of mine joked that I just "switched from one sturdy anglo-saxon last name to another"! Which was kinda true.

 

Anyway, I say that if you're thinking about or planning to have kids, just make sure you decide ahead of time what name you'd like them to have and then see whether or not you'd like to share that same name with them. I personally don't reccomend the whole hyphenation thing...it was a PITA for me growing up. But like Ann said - it's fine to have different names if that's how you're most happy.

 

I also thought the idea of asking your FI if he'd possibly switch to your name was good one. If he's not terribly attatched to his then maybe he wouldn't mind and you guys would have one big, happy "maiden name" family!

 

All that being said...if you or he make any changes, you will do more ridiculous paperwork and spend way too much time standing in lines (DMV, Social Security etc) than you ever imagined. After being married a few months, I finally took a day off work in the middle of the week just to get all that done! I'm coming up on my first anniversary and I still need to get my name changed on a couple key items...it's such a production!

[leigh miller]

i havent changed my name yet and got married a year and 1/2 ago. im not even sure how to go about it at this point. so guess what miller isnt my real last name! my legal last name is the same as my kids - not going to post it here though. i wouldnt mind changing it. i just havent gotten around to it. everyone knows me as leigh miller. the funny thing is my maiden name was miller. then i got married and it changed. and now i married a miller so i just went back to it for my business name before we were even married.

 

you have to do whatever youre comfortable with. sounds like you dont want to change it and your husband doesnt care. i always wondered about people who hyphenate. so if my name was leigh smith-miller. then i had a daughter and her name was jane smith-miller - and she got married and wanted to hyphenate her name she could end up with one long last name - haha!

[destinationbride07]

I am not changing my name legally..when we send out Christmas cards it will say “Mrs. & Mr. Z****** (his last name) …yep I am going first lol lol forget etiquette..I am a DIVA lol

 

I have a question, I am looking at the marriage license and it does not ask you if you are keeping your name…so how do I get to keep my last name…

[Jen]

This is also something I have been thinking about alot and I think I FINALLY came up with a compromise.....I LOVE my last name, in fact, because I have a VERY common first name, most people call me by my last name or some variation of it. PLUS, my bachelors, my masters, and my clinical lincense are all in my maiden name and professionally I go by my maiden name (obviously!) Everyone keeps saying that I can get my degrees and license changed to my married name but the way I look at it is, I EARNED those as the person I am now with the name I have now and I am VERY proud of what I have accomplished.....plus, it really helps with privacy issues to have everything listed under Matt and his last name but to professionally go by my maiden name. On the other hand, I really do want the same last name as my children and I know that people will always call me Mrs. Married Name and I don't feel like correcting them all the time. So, someone suggested the whole switch my maiden name to my middle name and take the married name legally....BUT (and this is where it gets tricky!), because I will be signing things and filling out forms at my job with my maiden name, I need that to legally be my name.....So, I finally figured out what to do after consulting my lawyer at work! She told me that if I change my name legally to "Jennifer Erin MaidenName MarriedName" without a hyphen, then I can legally use EITHER last name.....whew....sorry for the long post....I was just REALLY excited when I figured out what I was going to do!!!

[Christine]

really you can do that? hmm at my work though if I have my maiden name as my first last name they will use that, and since my children will eventually go to the school system I work in that might not work for me. I think I might still have to do the maiden name as my second middle name.

[Jen]

Well, you can go by either one....like, if my maiden name was Smith and married name was Brown, then my license would say "Jennifer Erin Smith Brown" but at work, everything would just say "Jennifer Erin Smith" and I could sign everything that way, but if I sign my credit card reciept, I could sign it "Jennifer Brown" and it would still be legal.....you can go by either one or both.....so I won't do ANYTHING to my name at work....just leave it how it is now.