Frustrated...Need to vent!!!

[atjorgensen]

Ok I have read so many posts on here about the # of guests you all are having at your DW and the support you all have and it makes me realize that my family and friends really suck!!! First of all, my parents aren't going which upsets me but I am more understanding about that b/c my dad has cancer but none of my sisters are going which is disappointing. Then my "friends" that I asked to be in my wedding have not tried to help with ANYTHING or been involved at all. I finally got my MOH and my BM together to go look at dresses. My MOH left with a migraine. I asked her when she would be able to go again and she doesn't seem interested. Most of the people that we are planning on having go/be in the wedding say they are but since we havent booked the trip we don't know that they will. Regardless no one seems to be interested in doing anything to help. I decided I am planning and me and my FI going, I know his parents and sister are going....besides that I don't care anymore. I don't care if I have a wedding party. They are stressing me out too much. So now I am going to look at dresses by myself and planning it all alone. It doesn't seem like anyone else has a problem with any of this and it just makes me feel awful. : ( sorry for rambling but just wanted to vent. Thank you so much for listening. I don't know what I would do without you girls!! Maybe you all should be in my wedding party!! LOL

[Nrvsbride]

Oh Andrea I am so sorry that you are going through all this. But actually you are not alone. Tammy M does not have her family going either and there are some other girls whose closest friends can't make it for a number of reasons. It really sucks that none of your sisters are going. Is it b/c of financial reasons? Could you afford to pay for them? As far as friends go, we have all learned that something about DW makes people all grumpy and grouchy. I know it hurts that your MOH does not seem interested right now, but I promise you that people do come around. And if worse comes to worse you have to look on the bright side...you don't want anyone at your wedding that is going to bring negativity. Don't worry I am sure everything will work out for the best.

 

-Glenda

[Sarah]

Well, I'm not sure if it will make you feel better or not Andrea, but I'm kinda in the same position. At this point NONE of my friends are going, including my best friend from high school who promised she'd be there (she doesn't want to bring her kids and can't find anyone to watch them- despite the fact that she has TONS of money and could afford to friggin bring someone along to watch them), and my other friend who was my "fill in" MOH just cancelled on my last week. I have one work friend who is now trying to rearrange her schedule so she can come. Also, Jeff's aunt and uncle never paid their deposit and basically just dropped off the face of the earth so we now have to pay their cancellation fee and if we don't find someone else for the room, lose all our upgrades and discounts for our room block.

Also, the ONLY reason my family is coming (mom, dad, brother, SIL, and niece) is because I am paying $8000 to get them there. Otherwise, they would not come.

We invited over 100 people and have 17 coming at this point. So, don't feel alone. My friends and family suck too! But, just remember- if this is what you really want, it doesn't matter who is there- just you and your FI are all that is needed for a beautiful wedding. We have to keep telling ourselves this all the time, especially as one after another, the more than 40 people who initially "promised" they would be there, and caused us to book a HUGE room block, changed their minds...

[atjorgensen]

wow...thank you. I feel quite a bit better actually (no offense). Dws can be difficult for sure and I know I keep saying this but this site has helped so much. We have to keep telling ourselves the same...as long as we are there it doesn't matter who else comes!!!! it will be beautiful regardless. Thank you so much girls. I am in a much better mood, plus I finally emailed Tammy and she is helping me get everything started!!!! Its a good day although I have to go get another mammogram and ultrasound on my boob today : ) LOL

[Nrvsbride]

Good luck with the test I hope everything goes okay!

 

-Glenda

[Sarah]

Hey, no problem Andrea. I've had to have the girls give me a pep talk or two in the last few months! Especially Tammy, she has been a life saver. DW's are so frustrating- I wouldn't say I'm sorry I chose to do a DW, I just had no idea how frustrating people would be.

Let us know how else we can help you, and try to enjoy your planning!

btw- what's up with the boob? Did I miss a thread somewhere- I hope everything is ok...

[*JillD*]

Good luck with your tests today Andrea. I'm sorry you're having so much trouble with your family and friends.

 

As Sarah mentioned I think we all have these days. My sister was supposed to be my MOH and can't come because shes pregnant and I barely talk to my friends, some of them have said they are going but haven't booked yet. And FI is not getting along very good with his family right now, his brother told us they were definetly going to come and steve has called them a few times to remind them about booking, and I think because Steve isn't getting along with his dad right now, that his brother isn't going to come either and is just not telling steve. So I am very frustrated with his family right now and I feel bad for him.

 

But whenever things like this happen we just have to remind ourselves that this is what we wanted for our wedding and as long as the two of us are there thats all that matters.

 

I hope things get better for you!

 

Oh, and if it makes you feel better I did all my dress shopping alone. You'd think after being a bm in so many of my friends weddings that they'd at least show some interest in my wedding.

[LEIGH]

I'm so sorry that you are feeling sad.....DW can be very difficult to plan in so many different ways...

It took us around 6 months to pick a location only because we wanted everyone around us to be there....but then we realized that if this is what WE want, then that's all that matters....no hard feelings for the ones that don't come~ That was our original wedding idea was to have a beach wedding, so we stuck with it knowing that there might be family and friends that wouldn't attend.

Keep you head up, and things will get better because after all, this is all about YOU not THEM! Don't let everyone bring you down... Let me know i can help!

Leigh

[TammyB]

Andera, sorry I'm on this thread so late.. As Glenda stated no one from my family is going. I was like you at first and said "I don't care if they go" But in all honesty is still bothers me. My parents can't afford it so at least that's a valid reason and my sister is the one that is hurting me the most because she always makes different excuses on "Why" she can't go. I fell like I've been planning this wedding for his family, and that I'm lost interest to be honest with you. I can't wait for this wedding to be over with so that ours lives can move forward.

 

You have to realize one thing though, your wedding is still over a year away and people who you thought "would" go might not and the people that you thought wouldn't would be the ones that end up going. My best advise, do what's best for you and your FI, if everyone else doesn't like it, oh freakin well, they'll get over it...

[gkashmira]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TAMMYM You have to realize one thing though, your wedding is still over a year away and people who you thought "would" go might not and the people that you thought wouldn't would be the ones that end up going. My best advise, do what's best for you and your FI, if everyone else doesn't like it, oh freakin well, they'll get over it...

This is SO true! It's funny how so many people that were "definitely" coming aren't and a bunch of people who weren't going to come are...

Your wedding is a long way away and it is going to be wonderful - as long as you and your FI are there - then that's all that matters!