Is this rude

[Kat81]

That is soo mean. I am pissed off. I feel so bad for your mom. And wtf is up with your brother?!

[amyh]

How rude! Can I ask how old your SIL and Bro are? She sounds very young and immature!

[beachbride09]

uumm.. yes, totally rude and disrespectful!

 

I have a baby (17 months old) and I had no qualms with people wanting to hold her while I was in the hospital (it was nice to get the rest); much less visit me when I was home (again, it was nice to get the rest).

 

As for the babyshower, what her 'friends' did was also rude; if it was a 'joint' shower, then the responsibilities should have been'joint'ly divided, including the costs.

 

I don't blame your parents for being pissed off, yet hurt. I feel your brother needs to address his wife's words and actions - this is family, they're not going away.

[Jenn3878]

Wow, so wrong in so many aspects! I could never do this to my parents or fi parents even if I didnt like them!? WOW! What is their deal??

[FinisterraBride]

I feel bad for your mom and dad - I hate to say it but it sounds like the dreaded daughter in law. I hope your brother starts standing up to her about his side of the family. Especially after your mother was so involved with the baby shower and everything. I have a 9 month old and was excited to introduce my son to both of our parents - there are always days that I would have preferred my soon to be mil to not give me advice but her intentions were well and I just let it go.

 

I hope it gets better - maybe you or your mom should have a talk with your brother alone about it.

 

good luck and congrats on becoming an aunt!

[tvt]

Oh man, I just read your post and couldn't wait to read the rest before I commented.

 

I cannot believe the balls on your SIL!!! I don't care if she just had a baby and is emotional and all that, you just don't treat people like that. She was so obviously disrespectful to your parents! And my god, all your parents want is meet their grandchild. How wrong is that? Ugh your SIL...

 

Does she always act like this?

 

And, please, brother, step in and say something!

[Helen_S81]

I feel so badly for your poor mom and dad who sound like they just want to do the right thing and are not quite sure what that is right now. I hate that feeling of wanting to help out and not wanting to intrude.

 

It does sound like sil has an issue with your parents. This might not be the right time (emotions could be coming into play) but I would suggest that your mom and/or dad ask bro and sil if they have done something to upset them and ask for suggestions on how they can make the situation work for all involved. Maybe once your sil can see how your mom and dad are just trying to do their best she will be more accomodating?

[Christine]

okay as somone about 2 weeks away from having a child, I can understand not wanting tons of people at once in the hospital. Our parents have requested calls no matter what time it is-my DH's parents will not be here (our entire family lives on the west coast). However all my girlfriends from work plan to stop by the hospital and I will be happy for some adult time and visitors.

your SIL sounds like a bitch and this whole I need to bond with the baby, yes so does everyone else. That bonding thing is really only discussed for the first couple of hours when the baby comes out when you are trying to get the BF thing going on.

Anyway, as far as the shower, its actually against ettiquette that the family throws the shower because its like the family asking for gifts, friends are supposed to throw it.

I think someone else asked this, but is your SIL young, she sounds very immature.

I bet your Bro and SIL will be more than happy to ask your parents to babysit, so why the rudeness now, I think you might want to speak to your brother and give him a heads up how much your parents were hurt by their behavior and as your parents go, you should encourage them to be honest with your brother and let him know they will not be taken advantage of.

[BarefootBride]

WTF? Uhhhh does she have something against your parents Are they overbearing or something? This is too weird!!! First of all, how much damn bonding does she need? I bet once that kid turns a terrible 2 she will be calling your mom up to babysit!!

Your sil should thank her lucky stars that she has family supporting her. Your mom did a good thing by leaving that hospital.

[Jenn79]

My cousin just had a baby, and is having a similar reaction to her MIL. Her excuse is that she doesn't want anyone coming to visit who can't help her with the baby (MIL is going through chemo and is weak a lot of the time). I haven't been to see her yet, but when I heard about it I was actually quite upset for the MIL. She's a very nice lady, and while I'll admit I don't know her well, she is the baby's grandmother and has a right to see the baby, whether she can help out or not.

 

So I totally feel for your parents, what your SIL is doing is so unfair and totally unfounded. As for your brother, well, I can empathize there as well. My brother, as much as I love him, can't stand up for himself at all.

 

Here's hoping everything works out, it's so sad how major life experiences turn people we thought we knew into total strangers.