Is this rude

[SASSYGIRL]

YIKES - I hope I don't come off that way to anyone who might be interested in loving my baby - I mean give me a break you SIL should be happy so many people care about her and her new child.

 

I have a large family of aunts, uncles and cousins and expect all of them to be stopping by at some point. I would be hurt if they didn't - I totally understanding needing some space and time to rest but my family will be totally respectful of that and understanding.

 

My DH family will most likely be MIA with the exception of my MIL who can be a bit much but means well! His sister lives in the same town as us and just last week we had a birthday party at our house - I kid you not 3 hours into the party she goes "Oh yeah congrats on the baby - I haven't had a chance to tell you yet!" WTF I have been knocked up since Febuary! Have you ever herd of a phone or email - Whatever!

 

I think your parents have every right to be hurt and I would encourage them to talk with your brother - not so that the situation might change but more so that they understand what is going on and why SIL feels the way she does.

[DanielleNDerek]

Quote:

Originally Posted by amyh How rude! Can I ask how old your SIL and Bro are? She sounds very young and immature!

She's 35 and my bro is 29.

[Christine]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanielleNDerek She's 35 and my bro is 29.

and her friends are all in their 30's as well. I would say at this point she is just a spoile little brat then.

[Hartyt509]

I've just been asking my friend about this because she has 2 kids and she said that her MIL is lovely and the best person in the world but when she had her first for some reason she hated her and wouldn't let her anywhere near the baby and had a pop at her all the time. She said she felt awful afterwards but for a few weeks she just couldn't help herself!

 

Maybe its just hormones (i'm hoping!!)

[Martha]

OMG!!! WTF? That is SO rude! If that were my mom, she would have gone off on her! ha!

[DanielleNDerek]

Thanks girls for all your opinions. It was esp nice to hear the side of the girls that have had babies.

 

I talked to my bro yesterday. I told him that my parents are really upset, esp my mom. I told him that his wife and himself really hurt their feelings. I asked him, if he knew how exicted they were for the baby to come and before he answered I told him how excited they were for the baby. And now they don't want to intrude on you guys so you'll have to let them know when it's okay for them to see their first grandchild. He then tried to tell me that they were up there 3 times in 2 days, i stopped him in his tracks and said the first time they went up i was with them, they got to look at the baby for maybe 5 minutes and they had to leave because your wife was tired, oh and two visits of seeing your first grandchild for a half hr is hardly too much. He sounded like he was sorry and he was going to call my parents. I told him, they went to the mountains (they go almost everyweekend) because they didn't want to get in the way of any bonding time with the baby, they said if you need anything you can call them. I then hung up.

 

when i went home fi told me that after i told him the story about what happened that afternoon he called my mom. He said my mom was crying (my mom never cries) and was really upset. He told my mom that when we have a baby she can hold it whenever she wants. That made my mom feel better. What a sweet fi i have! How come he never says anything that sweet to me?! lol

 

thanks again girls.

[DanielleNDerek]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hartyt509 I've just been asking my friend about this because she has 2 kids and she said that her MIL is lovely and the best person in the world but when she had her first for some reason she hated her and wouldn't let her anywhere near the baby and had a pop at her all the time. She said she felt awful afterwards but for a few weeks she just couldn't help herself! Maybe its just hormones (i'm hoping!!)

Maybe it's hormones. My mom thought maybe she was just trying to state her territory (not my moms exact words). Let my mom know it's her baby and she's in charge.

Which is kinda funny since my mom never butts in until we ask her to. She's just not like that at all.

[amym567]

WOW!!! I'm glad you talked to your brother~ hopefully he'll realize how terrible they were and make it up to your parents.

 

Since I just had Austin 2 weeks ago, I think I can relate to this situation. I had him at 5:01 p.m. I went in at 6 that morning to be induced. I was surprised that my MIL didn't take the day off to be there all day, but glad. My mom asked if I wanted her to come with us at 6, but I thought there was no point in her getting up, because who knows how long it was going to take. She called me, and came up around 11:00. When we found out I needed to have a C-section (around 4:00), DH called his mom, she left work, and came up with his dad. Right after I had Austin, I was able to BF and bond with him for about 2 hours while they finished getting him cleaned up, etc. When the "all-clear" was given, (around 7:00), in walked my mom, dad, step-mom, grandma, aunt, brother, his fiance, my niece, MIL, FIL, SIL, and her fiance. Yes, it was quite a roomful, but EVERYONE there was SOO excited about my baby (2nd grandchild on my side, first on DH's). It was a little chaotic for a bit, but it felt so good knowing they all wanted to be there. They didn't stay long, and we got back to our "bonding" and resting time.

 

Since we've been home, my MIL comes over about every other day~ sometimes it gets to be a bit much, but I know how much she loves Austin, and just wants to hold him for a little while. (My parents- divorced- live on the same street about 3 blocks from us, and in-laws live about 3 blocks the other way). There is no way that I could say some get to visit, even if that's how I felt. Hopefully your SIL will come to her senses soon!

 

Amy

[Hartyt509]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanielleNDerek Maybe it's hormones. My mom thought maybe she was just trying to state her territory (not my moms exact words). Let my mom know it's her baby and she's in charge. Which is kinda funny since my mom never butts in until we ask her to. She's just not like that at all.

Maybe but I still think its weird especially if they've been ok before. Like i said before I'd be no different than I am now with FMIL (usually bored looking) - who knows i'm sure you'll find out eventually.

Lets up the rocket you gave your brother does the trick - they are going to miss out more because your parents aren't going to be at their beck and call now (I hope!)

[Christine]

Danielle I think the talk you had with your bro was just enough for now and what an amazing FI you have for even calling your mom...my DH does not call my parents-he doesn't even call his own parents.