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Brides older than Grooms!?


EricaG

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I'm three years older than Jay. It's never really been a factor in our relationship. In fact, Jay is the most mature and grounded guy I have ever been with. In the past, I mostly dated guys older than me or my same age I would say I'm less mature and more naive than Jay is. I keep insisting that I'm a Cougar but Jay says I don't meet the criteria. = ( Oh well.

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I'm 5 years older! I never dated younger guys. They were always older. I never even dated anyone my age, so never, never thought I would end up marrying someone 5 years younger, but the funny thing is, his gran was 5 years older than his gramps. My mom is 1 year older than my dad.

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We are a few months shy of being 5 years apart. When we met he was 28 and I was 33. I always preferred older men.

 

One thing I liked about him was that he came with less baggage than some older men that have married before or had kids already. Neither of us have kids and we wanted to do so within a marriage and with a mate that did not already have kids. For us, there have mainly been issues with the differences of where we are in life socially, careerwise and financially that have caused some problems but we seem to work through everything. My friends are mainly married with kids or are otherwise pretty settled. His are mainly single. I'm a legal executive at a major corporation and he is in an entry level public service position and I earn slightly more than 3 times what he makes and starting next year it will be more than 5 times more....so it does create challenges as the things I was used to doing with much more financially well off older men are major challenges to his budget. And if I want to just pay for us both so we can do it, he is not a fan of that either. Though he has just entered grad school last year and will finish next year and that will help a little bit. I can say that younger men have a lot fewer issues with dating a woman who are doing better than they are financially....they are more evolved. It can be difficult as I already went through my struggling student and entry level employment years and am now finally able to enjoy the fruit of recent success and want to do all the things that I can now afford to do...but my mate cannot. But I love him and I know it will not always be this way.

 

My FI has said something that I have heard other young men say, including my brother who married a woman about 5-7 yrs his senior, and that is that they find many younger women that are their age to be too shallow, that they do not know how to treat a man, don't know how to cook, too loose and that many don't have much of substance to say. They say they are attracted to the fact that many older women they meet are goal oriented, they love the conversation that is about more than tabloids, clubbing, etc., they are classier and carry themselves as ladies. When looking for wife qualities, I find a lot of 20something men who say they are not seeing a lot of that out there in their age group.

Another challenge of course is the biological clock. He would have preferred to start a family after he finished grad school and got more settled into a career and more financially stable which would be at least another 2-3 years. Of course at 37, I was not trying to wait for him to do all of this so he had to bump up his timeline as to how he might have otherwise wanted to do things.

I have another girlfriend who married a 24 yr old when she was 32. They just celebrated their 5th anniversary and have 2 kids.

It is definitely happening more and more.

 

For those that haven't seen it I highly recommend the movie How Stella Got Her Groove Back starring Angela Bassett...it deals with a lot of the older woman younger man issues (not a few years but a significant age difference).

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