He wants to buy a motorcycle!!!

[monicaswave]

Ok ladies so my FI just dropped the bomb that he has been looking at getting a motorcycle. First of all, I do think it's very dangerous to have one. Guys usually get carried away with speed and like to push their limits. Also, the city we live at is not very motorcycle friendly so drivers don't really care or watch for people on bikes. Half the roads here in Houston are in consturction most of the time so there is a good chance you will run into an unexpected pot hole or some loose debris. But most importantly we are paying (mostly he) for the wedding ourselves and I really don't think we need that extra expense right now.

 

This made me really upset because even though I know my FI is covering the majority of the expenses for wedding I have been extremly thoughtful of our finances. I have cut down cost as much as possible on certain items and even sacrificed going on an all girls trip to Vegas with my friends so I can try to save as much as possible. He does make comments on how much money this wedding is costing and blah blah so I do stress at times with the cost. I passed on the dress I was sooo in love with because I didn't feel right asking my FI to pay that much money on a dress and now he wants to get a bike!!!

 

I told him how I feel and I could tell it made him a little upset. I told him I wouldn't stop him form getting his bike but to please wait until after the wedding. Then, he said that we could upgrade our wedding to how much his bike ends up costing. That made me even more mad.....he only wants to upgrade our wedding to how much he spends on a bike!!!! GGGGggggrrrrr!!!! Ladies please give me some advice.

[Kat81]

OMG I could have wrote this same exact thing minus the wedding upgrade. My FI is also looking into a motorcycle and it scares me to death. I feel bad saying anything though because he is paying for the whole wedding other than my dress and some small stuff I am paying for like the OOT bags. I really don't have much advice. My fI has a truck he pays a ton a month for and now wants to add a bike when I drive a 2002 Ford Ranger. I told him I am SO getting a new car before he gets a bike. He agreed, so I guess it's a win win situation other than like you said, guys push all the limits.

[lucy106]

Well as the FI of a new owner of motorcycle I can feel your pain. I guess it was easier for me because he fully paid for it himself with a cashiers check so it will not be an added expense to us as a married couple. I dont blame you at all for being pissed about his comment of upgrading the wedding to what his bike costs, that is rude for sure. I mean he should want the best wedding as much as you. Is this a bike you could ride with him and have a fun couples hobby? I have learned if it is not "our" money then I really have no right to tell him what to do. I can only give him my opinion. But if it is both of your money, then all bets are off!

[Hartyt509]

First of all forgive me i'm biased i'm a bike freak lol

 

If he wants to get a bike and he's paying for it let him. You can get killed walking over the road or getting on a bus by a nutter with a knife or a gun

 

I've been on bikes since I was 4 and my dad has had at least 3 bikes his whole life, even now he lives in indonesia he's got 2 lol

 

The more you say no the more he'll want it and it will become a really sore point. Let him get the bike it'll make him really happy and the times he is really pissing you off you can tell him to go for a ride - always worked for mum and they were married for about 30 odd years lol

 

[Kelly C]

Here I have the other side. My Fi had one when we met. One of the first things he ever said was "please dont ever ask me to sell my bike". So he has made mention of selling it since WE are paying for the wedding ourselves. I said "NO" I do not ever want to have him brining it up later that I made him sell it. That was a few months ago. Now all his friends are selling theirs. I told him if he did that was fine, but in know way was I going to weigh in on this decision.

[Kat81]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2008bride Here I have the other side. My Fi had one when we met. One of the first things he ever said was "please dont ever ask me to sell my bike". So he has made mention of selling it since WE are paying for the wedding ourselves. I said "NO" I do not ever want to have him brining it up later that I made him sell it. That was a few months ago. Now all his friends are selling theirs. I told him if he did that was fine, but in know way was I going to weigh in on this decision.

Smart girl

[jajajaja]

Hmmm- I hope he waits until after the wedding. Since we have been married, I can start to see the thought process shift a little. My hubby desperately wants kids and I want to wait until finances are a little more stable. We aren't bad off, but I am just scared of being unprepared financially for children.

 

Anyways, he just told me that he wants to sell is car and downgrade to one that's not as nice. He wants to put the money towards paying off some debt. His car is a total "toy" car so I can see it getting sold quick to some other single guy that wants some flashy car. We used to fight over toys all the time- we have a boat, 4 cars, and a 4 wheeler. We have since sold the 4 wheeler and are working on selling 2 of the cars. yay. All it took was getting married for him to start to settle down.

[monicaswave]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hartyt509 First of all forgive me i'm biased i'm a bike freak lol If he wants to get a bike and he's paying for it let him. You can get killed walking over the road or getting on a bus by a nutter with a knife or a gun I've been on bikes since I was 4 and my dad has had at least 3 bikes his whole life, even now he lives in indonesia he's got 2 lol The more you say no the more he'll want it and it will become a really sore point. Let him get the bike it'll make him really happy and the times he is really pissing you off you can tell him to go for a ride - always worked for mum and they were married for about 30 odd years lol

Don't get me wrong...as much as I think they can be dangerous I don't want to act like I'm his mother so I wouldn't stop him from buying one. I think what bothers me the most is that I was under the impression that our finances were tight due to this wedding yet he can find the money to purchase a bike. He makes constant comments on the cost of the wedding and it really stresses me out when I start to think of all the money we are spending so I just don't think it's fair that he wants to purchase a bike right now. I even asked him to please wait until after the wedding to make his purchase. On top of that, it makes me feel really sad that he wouldn't want to use that money towards our big day and that depending on what he spends for the bike will be equal our wedding upgrades.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucy106 I have learned if it is not "our" money then I really have no right to tell him what to do. I can only give him my opinion. But if it is both of your money, then all bets are off!

I agree with you the "whose money is it" part. The money he will be using for the bike is all his and that is why I am only giving him my opinion and not "laying down the law" on the purchase. It makes it even more frustrating cuase I don't have as much say so on it. It just makes me sad he wouldn't want to use that money towards our big day.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kat81 I told him I am SO getting a new car before he gets a bike. He agreed, so I guess it's a win win situation other than like you said, guys push all the limits.

I'm glad a good arrangement worked out for you....after you get your new car you won't even care if gets his bike or not.

[Hartyt509]

Something I learnt a long time ago blokes are thick and are basically selfish lol they get the I want in their head and its all they can think about. Don't be upset about it - take mega advantage lol play him at his own game, get a huge wedding, he gets the bike sorted - he can worry about the money lol

 

Honestly its not worth getting upset over there are more annoying things to worry about - like for for example - i hate his frigging mother with a passion and i'm gonna try really hard not to twat her one at the wedding lol

[BarefootBride]

Im sorry you feel this way. My FI has had his bike before I met him and I really cant relate but I do love riding on the back of it with him! I secretly want him to get a BMW or a Ducati but would NEVER EVER promote it.... because I agree, they are dangerous.

 

If your FI is a first timer with a bike chances are he will get carried away and go crazy fast on it. Houston really isnt bike or small motor vehicle friendly - everyone seems to go for SUVs and big ass gas guzzlers... dont know why....

I think you should not bring it up for awhile.