finally.... My wedding drama

DanielleNDerek · May 16, 2008

That's great that your supporting your fi's dreams. And it's your decision to that, it doesn't really matter what your friends think is best. i guess they wouldn't support someone like that, but that's not you. Do they think your fi is somehow taking advantage of you? There's nothing wrong with a woman who likes to work hard. Do they have the opinion that men need support their women? There's nothing wrong with a woman supporting their man. I think its great. I'm sure your friends meant well, just let them know it's none of their business. i would give all the bms the same gift.

chibi411 · May 16, 2008

wow.... you guys are all great. thank you for all the kind words, and yes, you guys are right. i hate to admit it, i just think they were so cruel, but they did have my best intentions- granted they did it in the worst way possible. my FI said the same thing, he's so awesome.

i guess years from now, it will not be so fresh and would not want to regret not giving her her gift.

and yes, i told them it was none of their business what our finances are- one went as far to ask what we each paid for! and they all know how upset, hurt and embarassed i was.

just glad to go past it and focus on our wedding. i feel much better about giving her the gift.

again thank you, all of you for your kind words

jajajaja · May 16, 2008

You know it kinda bothers me because no one thinks twice to have this conversation with a man when a woman decides to just be a stay at home wife/mom. How is it any different really? If you want to support your spouse, then you should have that right with no one making you feel bad or trying to convince you that your spouse is a free loader.

Opice34 · May 16, 2008

LC - It seems like they were just trying to make sure she wasn't being taken advantage of. But yeah, the double standards of our society suck!!

chibi - like I said before, I do think their intentions were good and that they are good friends, but I can't believe they asked you who pays for what?! WOW! I do think it's fair to tell them that those questions are inappropriate! And big kudos for FI for being incredibly understanding! I like him!

BarefootBride · May 16, 2008

Awhhh Im sorry. She was trying to be a good friend the way she knows how. I dont think shes an awful friend. You probably need to re-establish the lines that are drawn between you and your friends. Some people dont think its right for your friends to mention anything about your personal life or intervene in anyway while there are others who may appreciate it (at least later). But becareful of what youtell your friends because they assume that if you tell them your business then you are open for responses. If you told me that you were working those hours HONESTLY - I would think they were alot of hours but as a person who supports my FI and trusts him totally I UNDERSTAND! I think that you are helping your husband live out a dream and I think highly of you for doing so.