Guest issue!

[chicklet]

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Originally Posted by S2BLennon I need some input... I went to my FILs this weekend and my FBIL (best man) was there. Besides being jumped on about the cost of the vaca/ wedding for guests...(Which is another story for another thread if I get to it)....They didn't appreciate my STD's (again another story) and now I am getting awkward emails regarding guests.. OK on to the question, sorry I am aggravated! My FBIL sent me an email asking if he could give the resort info to a friend (that is on our list and we sent a STD to ) because he was looking for it.. This is understandable since I know that this guest hadn't recieved the STD yet.. On the other hand I was like.. Look at the STD - the info is on there Michael! I have the info EVERYWHERE and I am getting stupid questions, like who do we call?! Then on another line he asked if we needed another friends address since they exprssed interest in going... thing is we weren't going to invite them! he wanted to know if I had sent STD to everyone or if they were going to find it on their own.. So now I don't know what to do, especially since we JUST sent out the STDS and people have not recieved them.. DO we send one out to this other friend that wasn't invited but wants to go? I just have a feeling that people are finding out via word of mouth, that we are aquantiances with but that is all- and they think that it would be cool to go on vaca with all of us. It boils down to the fact that I don't think people - even my closest friends and family realize that this is a REAL wedding and there will be a REAL reception and there is still an invite list...... I am concerned and want to make sure that I follow etiquette... Then again I know that some of my guests have invited other friends of theirs to join them on vaca for the week... So do I invite only my original guests to the wedding and if there ends up being more "friends" that decide to vaca that week, dont' include them in the festivities? Seems rude....

It's your wedding and your day! Don't forget that.
Tell people that you made your guest list and have only planned for those people to attend...if they wish to bring a guest along on the trip so be it but make sure these people don't make you uncomfortable or would ruin your trip. I would invite only the people you want to the wedding and dinner/whatever you have planned. You shouldn't feel guilty about anything...its your day and its the one day you can think about you and you only!!!
Do what you think is best Hope it all works out.

[starfish 1115]

I believe this is a common problem. At first I was stunned, when a guest of my FI RSVP'd on the website + 3 guests. And the three guests were kids!!!! Don't get me wrong I love kids but I never thought someone would pay for a kid to come to a DW. Then I had people invite family, etc and made a vacation of it. We mad it clear that their family is not invited to the wedding but they are.

 

When I stopped and took a breath, I calmed down. I told my friends they are welcome to invite their guests. But their guests were not invited to the wedding. We were not responsible for their children but we would make accommodation for them ( but there is no baby sitting service available)

 

As for guests who I thought were single that chose to bring a friend. I feel for them. (I was single not to long ago) Who wants to go stag to a tropical destination alone? I realize it is a big deal but your guests are spending a lot of money to come to your wedding - we felt that the least we could do is let them bring a guest.

 

So the fact of the matter is that the guest list has increased. However, the guests are so excited about the coming to share in our special day that I just had to breathe and absorb there excitement and let the rest go. Pick your battles and if the budget rules then limit your guests numbers - people will understand.

 

This does not mean we have not drawn a line in the sand (so to speak) but if their guest was someone special we did concede.

 

Good Luck!

[S2BLennon]

I agree with those points. I stood back and took a chill since it seems that the people who will be making the trip with us will be more of a mix of different people. Not necessarily the people that we assumed would be making the trip with us. O well - it is what it is and no matter it will be perfect.

[Copita]

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Originally Posted by MoonPalacePookie We sent out 130 invitations to about 250 people, and we're only having about 60 at the wedding. My FI's mother has not decided if she is coming to the wedding. His mother!!! with three months to go. On the other hand, I went out last weekend with some friends and was followed around the bar by a girl who is a friend of a friend's girlfriend, asking me why she wasn't invited to the wedding and how much she wanted to go. Um, no, I dont even know her. I swear DWs bring out the crazy in people.

OMGOSH That is so funny! LOL. And you are right. DW's do bring the "crazy" out of people!

Quote:

Originally Posted by S2BLennon I agree with those points. I stood back and took a chill since it seems that the people who will be making the trip with us will be more of a mix of different people. Not necessarily the people that we assumed would be making the trip with us. O well - it is what it is and no matter it will be perfect.

When I first got engaged, I will never ever forget that my parents' good friends told me: The people that you most expect/think will go to your wedding, don't. And the ones who you least expect, do. My wedding is fast approaching & this couldn't be more true!