Breathe Sarah Breathe!

[Saraha]

Ok Just talked to Kevin (FI) and he was so pissed.... only becuase this is something little that has been going on the whole entire time...

 

I mean a coffee bar WTF!!!

 

Sorry if any of yo are. I think it would be great if it was a very elegant formal wedding but its a big party, and like you said... who doesnt like candy!

 

So anyways Kevin was about to call his mom and blow up on her and after calming him down I told him I would write her an email.... so let me know if this is nice yet assertive:

 

Hey Jaci!

Its not too late to stop everything. I can return it all and eat all the candy LOL! JK! But Kevin and I really think it would be fun to have, I think it would look nice and all the guests would enjoy it. But if you really dont want me to do it I wont.

 

How does that sound? Havent sent it yet?

[Rachelle E.]

Ummmm...Martha Stewart has done a candy "bar" on her wedding website before and if Martha's done it...it's CLASSY! lol!

 

Seriously though. It's a small thing that will be lots of fun for guests. I had really wanted to do this at my reception but I just didn't get it together in time. And since it's YOUR WEDDING, YOU'RE PAYING FOR IT and YOU really want it. . .you should just do it. I realize it's her house...but if it's mess she's concerned about - then it's a no go on the coffee 'cause that sh*t STAINS!

 

I say esp since you've alreayd bought the stuff, put your foot down and tell her you can't be talked out of it, it's part of your dream wedding fantasy ....

 

Of course be nice about it, but make your point. And make sure your FI will back you up too! :-)

[Maura]

sarah dont send it. let me rewrite for you. still sounds like you are putting yourself down and making your and kevins wishes downplayed.

[Saraha]

Ok.....

 

Thank you guys. I know I should be more assertive.

 

I just read it to my coworkers and they said DO not put the lst sentence in. Dont give her a chance to shut you down.

[Kat81]

I agree... there is a nice way to be assertive... let Maura rewrite it

[Celina]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saraha Ok Just talked to Kevin (FI) and he was so pissed.... only becuase this is something little that has been going on the whole entire time... I mean a coffee bar WTF!!! Sorry if any of yo are. I think it would be great if it was a very elegant formal wedding but its a big party, and like you said... who doesnt like candy! So anyways Kevin was about to call his mom and blow up on her and after calming him down I told him I would write her an email.... so let me know if this is nice yet assertive: Hey Jaci! Its not too late to stop everything. I can return it all and eat all the candy LOL! JK! But Kevin and I really think it would be fun to have, I think it would look nice and all the guests would enjoy it. But if you really dont want me to do it I wont. How does that sound? Havent sent it yet?

NO - DON'T SEND IT! It's your wedding reception and if you want candy you should have it! Wait to see what Maura sends you and go from there! It's your day - not hers! Don't give in! You spent too much time and are so excited for her just to shoot your plans down.

[becks]

I was going to do exactly what Maura's doing. The tone of your note is too submissive/self-deprecating.

 

I'll let Maura re-write as she's far better with the wordsmithing than I. But be assertive - this is still your party, this is still your bill. I know it's her house, but jeez!!!

[Maura]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saraha Ok Just talked to Kevin (FI) and he was so pissed.... only becuase this is something little that has been going on the whole entire time... I mean a coffee bar WTF!!! Sorry if any of yo are. I think it would be great if it was a very elegant formal wedding but its a big party, and like you said... who doesnt like candy! So anyways Kevin was about to call his mom and blow up on her and after calming him down I told him I would write her an email.... so let me know if this is nice yet assertive: Hey Jaci! Its not too late to stop everything. I can return it all and eat all the candy LOL! JK! But Kevin and I really think it would be fun to have, I think it would look nice and all the guests would enjoy it. But if you really dont want me to do it I wont. How does that sound? Havent sent it yet?

First of all --- is it an option for Kevin to deal with his mother without putting you in the middle? (and without him blowing up at her?)

if not, then i'd send an email to her like this, not word for word, but to this effect:

Hey Jaci!

Kevin and I discussed doing a candy bar at length and really want to do it. We think that it would look nice and all the guests would really enjoy it. Martha Stewart had a really cool thing on her website that we saw and it's a new trend for weddings that we think will be fun to have at ours. We already paid for all the supplies and will be happy to do the set up for it on our own if it would be a hassle for you. I realize it is not necessarily something you want to do, but we want to do it for our at home reception because we think it adds a little extra touch of us into the day. Ultimately, we just want everyone to have fun and enjoy the day with us and that is what is most important. Kevin & I hope that even if you disagree with our idea, that you can step back to let us just do one little thing in the grand scheme of things.

Love, Sarah

[Saraha]

I know, I NEED to be more assertive but always feel bad.... THANK YOU MAURA!!!

[Kat81]

Well Said! You could even leave out the last line and just let her know that it's not her reception and you don't need her permission.