Breathe Sarah Breathe!

[MelanieS]

Perfect, Maura! I'd use it word-for-word; it's great and gets the point across nicely.

[Maura]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saraha I know, I NEED to be more assertive but always feel bad.... THANK YOU MAURA!!!

youre welcome -- you should NEVER feel bad asserting yourself so that your wishes and feelings for your wedding day (and any other life event) are heard and respected. sounds like your FMIL wants your AHR to be all about her and not all about you and kevin IMHO. if it's something you want, then you do it. you dont need to ask. its your wedding, the reception is in your honor, regardless of where the party is physically located.

[jajajaja]

haha Sarah. You do need to be more assertive. You are certainly too nice- although you can't ever be too nice right? Anways, I like Maura's letter better. It's nice and it's not backing down. If you really want something, don't back down to your FMIL. Next thing you know she will be coaxing you into naming your first born "Fluffy" because it was her dog's name and it's really cute. (Sorry to those that are named Fluffy. haha)

[Rachelle E.]

kudos to Maura! The revised letter sounds great! Very nice, yet still firm.

 

And she's right - don't feel bad about standing your ground on things that are important to you! :-)

[Maura]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kat81 Well Said! You could even leave out the last line and just let her know that it's not her reception and you don't need her permission.

i personally think that letting her know its not her reception and you dont need her permission would be taking it a little far -- specifically because sarah said jaci's feelings are easily hurt. i think jaci is aware that it is not her wedding, but that she is just asserting over sarah what her own personal preferences for the day are.

sarah, if you dont stand up for yourself, no one else will.

[ErinB]

Sarah--It's kind of cheating but my philosophy is usually it's better to ask forgiveness than permission.

 

You should have phrased your e-mail differently, just being so excited about the candy bar and how some are really expensive, but you did some great bargain shopping, etc...You aren't ever supposed to start a letter,conversation, etc. in a negative fashion. Don't acknowledge that she could not like it.

 

Bottom line, it's your wedding, regardless of where it is being held, so do what you want! I've seen lots of candy bars, and none of them were ever tacky! When is your AHR? A coffee bar in the summer will not be used, even by old people. Trust me! I'm an event planner.

 

Oooh! You should tell her you consulted with a planner who said they were the hottest tends in weddings and that coffee bars are passe!

[Kat81]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamaicaBride062108 Sarah--It's kind of cheating but my philosophy is usually it's better to ask forgiveness than permission. Oooh! You should tell her you consulted with a planner who said they were the hottest tends in weddings and that coffee bars are passe!

LMAO you crack me up

[Saraha]

Ok I didnt send it yet but she just sent this to me:

 

Please don't be upset with me about the Candy Buffet.I think it's a cute idea, but not very practical, esp. sincereally the only little kids who will be there are Kate andTaylor. The teenagers and adults won't really care too much about having that or even miss it if it's not there.Don't you think?

[Maura]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saraha Ok I didnt send it yet but she just sent this to me: Please don't be upset with me about the Candy Buffet.I think it's a cute idea, but not very practical, esp. sincereally the only little kids who will be there are Kate andTaylor. The teenagers and adults won't really care too much about having that or even miss it if it's not there.Don't you think?

send her what i wrote for you and then add at the end if she would like to speak to kevin about it, she is more than welcome. then leave it at that on your end.

its not up to your FMIL to decide what is practical or not --- um last time i checked, my FI who is 32 years old loves candy and would raid a candy bar worse than a 5 yr old! i have an uncle in his 50s who is the same way! who doesn't like candy?!

[MelanieS]

It's kind of cheating but my philosophy is usually it's better to ask forgiveness than permission.QUOTE]

 

YES! My husband and I live by this, and it almost always turns out well!!