Not sure if this should be posted here

[Denise40]

Hi everyone,

 

I am some what of a newbie in need of some moral support. I am not a bride to be but I am planning on renewing our vows in June 08. We will be married 25yrs. This has been a bad week for me. I just went yesterday for my annual GYN exam and had my first mamogram. At my gyn exam the doc says there looked like something odd but lets wait until the pap results come back. Then I go for the mamo and the tech goes, we tell all of our ladies this, especiallialy the ones that don't have a mamogram to compare to, that when you get the results in the mail, it may say to come back for more testing but it's probably nothing. So, here I am thinking I have 7-10 days to hope nothing comes back. Well, not so lucky. I got a call today that says I need to come back in for more views and an ultrasound!! I am so scared and all I have been doing is crying since I got home from work. My hubby is out of town on a job and won't be back until next week after I go back in for more tests. My 18 y/o daughter seen me crying and asked what was wrong and I told her, that is the first time in a long time that she came up to me and hugged me. She is not the huggy/loveable daughter. Then she said, mom, that is what Jack's mom just died from! This should be a happy time for me, planning my vow renewal ceremony, excited to be married to an awesome guy for this long. When I was talking to him on the phone he knew something more was wrong. I tried to tell him nothing but that didn't work. I told him that if it is cancer and had to have a mastectomy that he would leave me. He said I knew that is what you are afraid of. Then he said the best thing, we have been through hell and back and you are stuck with me, I didn't marry you for your body, even though I love it, I married you because I love you and we are in this together. Even though I know no one can make those promises, I really believe he wouldn't leave me, but there is still that doubt in the back of my mind.

I also don't want to die. I want to see my kids graduate from college and have a family of their own. Is that too much to ask for? I am too young for this to be happening to me. I just got over having back surgery 6 months ago.

 

I'm sorry if I am bringing all you happy people down, I just needed to vent and I have read how uplifting everyone here is. I am not asking for sympathy, just some prayers thrown my way.

 

Sorry this is so long, thanks for letting me vent and "listening" to my problems.

[Yari]

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry.

 

Try not to freak out and wait until you get all of your test results back. Thankfully you have a supportive husband and daughter...plus us to help you through this.

[DanielleNDerek]

Wow Denise you have a lot on your plate. But sounds like your husband and daughter are there for you. That's great. Dr's always tell you the worse especially when they have no results back, keep that in mind. It could be nothing. Please try not to upset yourself.

 

I'm sending well wishes your way and a hug!

[sunnydaes]

ah, Denise. I'm so sorry to hear this. Your story made me cry

Try to stay positive. lets wait and see what the test results are and then figure out a game plan. So many women have been through this before and been abolustley fine. My thoughts are with you, stay positive and keep us updated.

[Bride010101]

I'm sorry you are going through this right now. Hopefully you will you get more answers soon. Sounds like you have a wonderful husband and daughter though... And know that we are always here for you! You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[MsSunshine]

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I will keep you in my prayers and hope to god that it's nothing. When will you know for sure what it is? When I read your thread....my heart sank out for you. Keep praying to the high almighty for your health issue to come back with better news. Please keep all of us hear posted with what you find out. Good luck!

[Jessica]

Wow.

 

I understand how you would be freaked out. Waiting to know what exactly is going on is always the hardest part. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to think the worst just yet.

 

It sounds like you have a pretty awesome husband. Focus on the fantastic vow renewal you will be having in a few months.

 

We're here for you and I'll keep you in my thoughts.

[Denise40]

Thanks everyone! You all really do make people feel really special here and that you really do care. I havn't said anything to my son yet. He is away at college and if I was to say something he would be home in a minute. He is my "boy" and is my emotional one. I always said he should have been the daughter and my daughter the son. LOL. I will keep you all posted on things. I think I am going to try and go shopping tomorrow and see if that will keep my mind off of things for a little while. I need to go get shoes for my dress because I have my fitting on Monday.

[Maura]

denise, wow. my thoughts and prayers are with you. take it easy and try not to worry too much until you get test results back (i know, easier said than done). try to focus on something positive like wedding planning until you hear the results. then you can go from there. my FI's mom nearly died of breast cancer 10 years ago, and had to have a mastectomy. but if you catch these things early enough, that can be avoided. even if not, there are excellent prosthetic breasts that look completely real. there are reconstruction surgeries. but dont freak now until you know anything. sending you a huge hug!

[katrina]

my mom actually just went through this about 3 months ago. it was also her first mammogram and they told her that there was some dense tissue they were concerned about. it actually got really crazy because the doctor accidentally gave her the wrong folder... the folder they gave her was for a woman WITH cancer. needless to say we all went crazy for a day until the mistake was realized. but anyway, it ended up just being thick tissue and it's not uncommom in women with large breasts, which my mom has. so i know it's really unnerving, but try not to stress until there is something to stress about.. i'm sure you'll be fine and we're thinking about you.