Not having an AHR?

[Kat81]

Is anybody not having an AHR? I keep going back and forth with it. I am originally from Cali and my FI is from Canada. We know quite a few people in Texas but I don't know if it is really worth throwing a reception for. All the people that can't come from Cali and Canada obviously can't come for an AHR in Texas.... SIGH. Is it rude not to do one?

[nikkianddean]

I don't think it's rude at all if you don't want to. If you feel like there are people who can't make it would you consider something REALLY casual - like cocktails at your home when you get back?

[tlomlad]

i agree with nikki... i def dont think that its rude... its your wedding you can do what you want... perhaps a casual bbq "reception" show those in texas the pictures from the wedding etc.

 

i would def reccommend inviting them either way, let them decide if they cant make the long trip but at least they know that you had them in mind to share the most important day of your life with you

[lyrebard]

I agree...don't think it's rude at all. We have a similar problem, but are doing the opposite: having parties both in CA and PA, where our families are centered. But we're not even considering them AHRs, just "come celebrate the fact that we got hitched!" parties. =)

[MissyR]

We have family in Ontario and Alberta and we go back and forth regularily as to whether or not we want to have an AHR - I think in the end we won't!

[beachbride08]

We're not having one due to the cost. Plus, most of the people that we want to share in our day are coming to the DW. My aunt and cousin are throwing me a shower locally so those that can't make it to the wedding will probably just come to that. We plan on posting our video and pictures on our website when we get home for everyone to see.

[rodent]

I really didn't want to do an AHR, but I thought we had to. We live in NC & our family is in Texas. So we planned on having a casual BBQ AHR in Texas. Even keeping it casual, it's still expensive. And I feel bad having people drive 3 hours for a BBQ plate & go back home. It was the one thing about the wedding I wasn't excited about.

 

Then on New Years my brother got engaged & they set the date for August. We decided that I shouldn't have an AHR because it would be too much that summer. I was so happy!!!

 

We are still doing our AHR in north carolina, but that is easy & fun. ALl our friends live in the same city so we don't have the problem in Texas where people are driving 3 or more hours to get there. Also, its all friends not family here. So we are getting a keg of corona, stringing up some decorations & a pinata & just having a party. It will be at a friends house.

 

If I started planning again I never would have said I'd have an AHR in Texas. I only did it because I thought we had to.

[LadyCheese]

I dont think I'm having one bc its an extra expense that we cant afford right now. After our legal ceremony, my mom will prob host a dinner at her house where a few of my closest relatives will come to celebrate with us (these are the same relatives that can't afford to come to our DW) so it kinda all works out good for everyone. Good luck deciding.

[Alyssa]

we are not having one. we went back and forth but decided we were spending a lot of money to have our wedding and the people that are most important to us will be there.

 

we told our parents that we were not willing to pay for another wedding event so that if either one of them felt like they needed an AHR for their friends or more family, they were welcome to host it and we would happily show up but we are not doing it!

[lscilley]

We are not having one because its an extra expense we can't afford. For anyone who is really really important to us and can't come I am going to make them a photobook or scrapbook of the wedding.