A wee bit concerned

[Kristy!]

I would really like to do it and he'll find out at some point. At least I would know when he gets the news. I've talked to FI and he knows all about the situation. Ugh, I just hate that there's this nut job out there that makes me proceed with extra caution. Grrr...

[Maura]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alyssa I had a very jealous ex. to be honest, i probably wouldn't do the announcement - if he is that unstable - why invite the drama into your life?

i agree with alyssa here. i had a crazy ex, not as crazy as yours, but crazy. and i also agree with christa, that placing an announcement invites people into your business. IMHO, i would skip the announcement. you live close enough that theres a good chance he'd see it, and why invite that drama back into your life? but then, on the other hand, if its very important to you to do the announcement, do it. just know that the drama might follow, and be prepared.

[Spazz]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mauraw i agree with alyssa here. i had a crazy ex, not as crazy as yours, but crazy. and i also agree with christa, that placing an announcement invites people into your business. IMHO, i would skip the announcement. you live close enough that theres a good chance he'd see it, and why invite that drama back into your life? but then, on the other hand, if its very important to you to do the announcement, do it. just know that the drama might follow, and be prepared.

I agree with everything Maura said...

[JennyK]

I've dealt with the same type of ex boyfriend right before my FI. He would blatantly do things to hurt me when he knew things were going good for me and my boyfriend (now FI). He'd randomly call in the middle of the night but I knew better so I'd pass the phone to the FI to let him have it. I knew me being engaged would bother him but I didn't care. My bf checked his blog one day and he wrote this long entry about me and how I'm now someone else's wife and he'll never have me back.

 

Listen, don't stop living your life because of an ex. That means he wins and you'll always walk on eggshells. If you have nothing to hide, his issues are his issues.

[Kat81]

Quote:

Originally Posted by froggie1013 I would really like to do it and he'll find out at some point. At least I would know when he gets the news. I've talked to FI and he knows all about the situation. Ugh, I just hate that there's this nut job out there that makes me proceed with extra caution. Grrr...

I also have a nut job of an ex. He lives in Dallas though which is about an hour and half from me. I know he checks my Myspace though and so I know he knows I am engaged. I really thought he would flip again but he hasn't well I am sure he has but he hasn't drug me into it again. He is going to find out no matter what... A friend of a friend of a friend is bound to tell him.

[Yari]

I would say to skip the announcement. It is not worth the drama.

 

I had a crazy ex too...he tried to kill me. Yay, psycho! He was mentally unstable. Anyhow, he committed suicide a few years ago (at least that is what I hear through the grapevine). If he were still alive and living in my town I would not put the annoucement out, only because I wouldn't want to invite drama back into my life.

[Kat81]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yari I would say to skip the announcement. It is not worth the drama. I had a crazy ex too...he tried to kill me. Yay, psycho! He was mentally unstable. Anyhow, he committed suicide a few years ago (at least that is what I hear through the grapevine). If he were still alive and living in my town I would not put the annoucement out, only because I wouldn't want to invite drama back into my life.

Oh my.... That is horrible. I am so glad that you got out alive. How scary...

[Kristy!]

Yari, that is so scary. What an awful situation! Glad that's over with.

 

I'm not worried about me, I'm worried he'd go after FI.

[becks]

My two cents (probably only worth about 1, but whatever):

 

You haven't had any real contact with him since 2004. He sends you an e-mail or a text or a voice mail now and again. But other than that, nothing, right? For four(ish) years?

 

It's not like he's hanging around outside of your office, he's not driving past your parents' home on weekends to see if you're coming for dinner. In that case, he's probably not a threat.

 

The phone calls and voice mails are probably triggered by problems with his current girlfriends or something. He gets lonely/bored/drunk and figures he'll see if you will bite.

 

He doesn't sound like he's going to do you or your FI any harm. Frankly, if he was the type to do harm, he probably already would have done something. If he was paying that much attention, he would have known you were dating for a length of time, etc.

 

It's been four years. It's your life, move on. Don't live in fear of the what ifs that sound like probably nots. Announce your engagement!

 

...but I don't recommend including the phrase "nyah, nyah [insert ExBFs name here]... you lose!"

[Kat81]

Quote:

Originally Posted by becks ...but I don't recommend including the phrase "nyah, nyah [insert ExBFs name here]... you lose!"

LMAO that is freakin' funny