Question for fellow black brides Re: hair plans

[BarefootBride]

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Originally Posted by Gretchen I just have to say that I LOVE that you all put "good hair" in quotes. We have talks about "good hair" at my house. (damn those kids at school!) I tell the girls here that the only person with "bad hair" are bald men. It was bad to fall out. As long as you HAVE hair it is all good! Sounds silly - but I feel like the "good hair" lable is not so good for the kids (especially girls) with more texture... Do you think I am crazy? We also have kids books about hair...

Agree... it makes one sound better than the other... as if everyone else has bad hair. Like my FI says - IT JUST HAIR! I just dont like to go there with the good hair thing... it really bugs me.

[KarmaB]

Agreed girls. Sorry, if we offended anyone. I'm sure that was not the intention. She was just trying to describe her hair texture.

 

My little sister has hair down to her butt literally and she gets made fun of from caucasian people because her hair is frizzier than theirs. My mom is caucasian and has thick frizzy hair. I think we all know that everyone has different textures of hair and unfortunately different textures are different to work with for certain hairstyles. That was really all that was meant.

 

I agree though for the kids sake, that is probably not the best thing to say. Children now a days have enough pressure and things to worry about than adding something else into the mix.

[meltanirie]

Everyone has valid pts "hair" corny I know but I felt I needed to break the tension a bit...anyhoo back to the matter at hand. My hair may also be a problem I have had it natural for going on 7 years now and I const have it braids. No one wants me to do barid for my wedding and to tell the truth neither do I. Humidity will kill me if I starighten it and I don't want to relax it I hate weaves they make me miserable---I know I pretty much have nothing left but if anyone has any suggestions I would appreciate it. My hair is soft but thick and it keeps the starightness when ironed but thats in cold weather----I may have to relax it and waste 7 yrs of health (sigh)

[KarmaB]

Quote:

Originally Posted by meltanirie Everyone has valid pts "hair" corny I know but I felt I needed to break the tension a bit...anyhoo back to the matter at hand. My hair may also be a problem I have had it natural for going on 7 years now and I const have it braids. No one wants me to do barid for my wedding and to tell the truth neither do I. Humidity will kill me if I starighten it and I don't want to relax it I hate weaves they make me miserable---I know I pretty much have nothing left but if anyone has any suggestions I would appreciate it. My hair is soft but thick and it keeps the starightness when ironed but thats in cold weather----I may have to relax it and waste 7 yrs of health (sigh)

LOL, No tension here. I wanted to apologize and clarify.
I know how you feel though about relaxers. I really did not want one either but had to during the summer because my hair would not withstand Texas heat. If you do end up getting a relaxer you can get a very gentle one.

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Originally Posted by BarefootBride Im having the same problem!!! I have been planning my hairstyle for over 3 months now!!! SERIOUSLY!! I am so glad you posted this and so glad that I have someone to talk to about this! OMG!! IM FREAKING JUST THINKING OF IT! Can I vent? When I visited the states last December I was researching the fusion form of extentions.... I have NEVER had extensions. (Its full and grows super fast. I tend to cut it whenever I get tired of it. So now Im growing it.) Anyways, I didnt get any weave because 1. Im scared and 2. It wouldnt last until August 3. I wouldnt have anyone in Japan to take it out for me So I resorted to researching clip ins.... Okay sounds like a good idea right? Maybe. I figured, I can do a run through before Fiji and once I make it there put them in for the ceremony or just get them done before but I am like you guys.. What about the water issue? Really, whoever heard of going to Fiji and not snorkeling and if I do TTD then I will get it wet and wet hair is sexy! Anyways, I found this lady online - shes really not helpful but she has HUMAN CLIP INS ....The Best Easy Custom Celebrity Clip in Clip on Hair Extensions Its expensive but she has hair for both caucasian and kinky texture. I sent her a photo and she sent me a link to order from (it was caucasion hair) ... then I ordered a sample, and she sent me a different sample (I think African American straight) ... I was pretty confused by then. My FI said the sample was was not my hair texture so I cut off a sample of my hair and sent it to her and she comes back today with a link to curly weave! AHHHH I dont want my hair curly. I planned on blowdrying it straight! Im thinking its a problem I have because I mentally dont want to have caucasian hair! lol Even though I am 1/2 Asian I consider myself Black and maybe I am in denial of having "good hair" -I just dont like that term or being considered to be in that category because like India said, "I am not my hair." Is it me? OH yeah on top of that the lady at hair conspiracy.com said that it would be over 300 dollars to get it matched!!! OMG That is Freaking Ridiculous. Now I think she is trying to get over! What do you think? My hair just wont grow in time to be the length I wanted it to be. What should I do? Hey girls lets get another thread and post photos of possible hairstyles for us! Im not at home so when I get home I want to post a picture of how I want my hair and why I need extentions to make it happen. Anyhow, thanks for letting me vent! I feel much better!

I looked at the website and the clip ins look really good, but OMG 300 bucks? Just to match it? WOW.

Can your resort do some sort of temporary extensions then take them out before you leave?

Can you post a pic when you get a chance so we can see what style you want?

[Agape Gems]

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Originally Posted by Gretchen I just have to say that I LOVE that you all put "good hair" in quotes. We have talks about "good hair" at my house. (damn those kids at school!) I tell the girls here that the only person with "bad hair" are bald men. It was bad to fall out. As long as you HAVE hair it is all good! Sounds silly - but I feel like the "good hair" lable is not so good for the kids (especially girls) with more texture... Do you think I am crazy? We also have kids books about hair...

I grew up in an all white community, (literally me, sis, and 2 other black kids were the only ones in the elementary school and it was not a small school) so I got made fun of plenty. I hate when people say I have "good hair" or "white-people hair", it's so ridiculous. I just have hair! Ok, stepping away from the soap box before I get carried away....

Quote:

Originally Posted by meltanirie Everyone has valid pts "hair" corny I know but I felt I needed to break the tension a bit...anyhoo back to the matter at hand. My hair may also be a problem I have had it natural for going on 7 years now and I const have it braids. No one wants me to do barid for my wedding and to tell the truth neither do I. Humidity will kill me if I starighten it and I don't want to relax it I hate weaves they make me miserable---I know I pretty much have nothing left but if anyone has any suggestions I would appreciate it. My hair is soft but thick and it keeps the starightness when ironed but thats in cold weather----I may have to relax it and waste 7 yrs of health (sigh)

What do you think about the natural curly look? Not sure how to describe what I'm talking about, but like in the crazy picture of me below only the curls would be really tight, like ringlets and not dry looking. I love that look, I wish my hair would be big but not frizzy. Maybe I can find a pic of what i'm talking about.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BarefootBride So I resorted to researching clip ins.... Okay sounds like a good idea right? Maybe. I figured, I can do a run through before Fiji and once I make it there put them in for the ceremony or just get them done before but I am like you guys.. What about the water issue? Really, whoever heard of going to Fiji and not snorkeling and if I do TTD then I will get it wet and wet hair is sexy! Anyways, I found this lady online - shes really not helpful but she has HUMAN CLIP INS ....The Best Easy Custom Celebrity Clip in Clip on Hair Extensions Its expensive but she has hair for both caucasian and kinky texture. I sent her a photo and she sent me a link to order from (it was caucasion hair) ... then I ordered a sample, and she sent me a different sample (I think African American straight) ... I was pretty confused by then. My FI said the sample was was not my hair texture so I cut off a sample of my hair and sent it to her and she comes back today with a link to curly weave! AHHHH I dont want my hair curly. I planned on blowdrying it straight! Im thinking its a problem I have because I mentally dont want to have caucasian hair! lol Even though I am 1/2 Asian I consider myself Black and maybe I am in denial of having "good hair" -I just dont like that term or being considered to be in that category because like India said, "I am not my hair." Is it me? OH yeah on top of that the lady at hair conspiracy.com said that it would be over 300 dollars to get it matched!!! OMG That is Freaking Ridiculous. Now I think she is trying to get over! What do you think?

Thats sounds really expensive and complicated!!!!

[Gretchen]

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Originally Posted by FutureMrsB Agreed girls. Sorry, if we offended anyone. I'm sure that was not the intention. She was just trying to describe her hair texture. My little sister has hair down to her butt literally and she gets made fun of from caucasian people because her hair is frizzier than theirs. My mom is caucasian and has thick frizzy hair. I think we all know that everyone has different textures of hair and unfortunately different textures are different to work with for certain hairstyles. That was really all that was meant. I agree though for the kids sake, that is probably not the best thing to say. Children now a days have enough pressure and things to worry about than adding something else into the mix.

Just want to say that I was TOTALLY NOT offended! I could see that everyone was using the quotes and read that as "the world calls it good hair but what other lable do I use without saying good hair". That was why I commented! I LIKED that everyone used the quote marks rather thans actually saying they HAVE good hair!
But - it is understandable to use in the post that way - we ALL knew what you meant by it - even though it is not so PC, "good hair" is pretty understood for the meaning! It was just nice that it was used for the MEANING not with some mean intent!
You girls ROCK!

[BillysBride]

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Originally Posted by twelve_piece I was thinking of getting a quick weave so that I wouldn't have to worry about it at all, and could wear it down in big curls, but then I found out that I can't get in the water with that b/c its basically just glued in so had to move on to plan B- getting my hair done up and probably super crunchy so that it won't frizz What type of hair oil to do use? I have been using this stuff by Paul Mitchell called Skinny. Its really light so it was good during the winter but won't work for Jamaican humidity. Ummm, just realized this morning that I'm down to 3 weeks before we leave! A little scary when I think of all the things that still need to be handled. But I'm definitely ready for the vacation!!!!!!

Not sure if y'all (excuse me, but my southern heritage comes out even when I type) are referring to whats known here in the midwest as "Quick Weave" but most of those do not require glue. They have "lace" fronts that blend into your natural hair and only expose about a an inch or less of your hairline and there are small combs attached all around to keep it in place. NEVER put glue in your hair. Cardinal sin.....(shakes head sadly)

I feel like I'm in School Daze...No such thing as "good" or "bad" hair, so we need to stop this and pay no attention to what society calls any of it. Its just hair...either its curly, frizzy, straight or kinky, but its all just hair and can be dealt with! Love your hair girl..there are folks wishing for curls that don't have them!

There are a LOT of products that are meant to be used in high humidity, and if you use a little "help" in there with extensions or a Quick Weave, you'll minimize how much effort you have to take. For instance, if it frizzes, its pretty easy to do a touch up with the front/sides. Jon Frieda/Frizz Ease has a great new shampoo and conditioner that seals the hair shaft and keeps out moisture. I'm not a big fan of the hair serum they've had out for years (I find it too greasy and weighs the hair down), but the shampoo and conditioner is MARVELOUS. I wouldn't recommend it over time (the build up is just too much on delicate AA hair) but for special occasions in heat/humidity like this it may work wonders! There are TONS of products that can help, so my suggestion is to hit one of your local beauty supply stores. NOT the ethnic shops, but a good supply store like Sally's where they carry only professional products.

Something else that helps a lot to seal the shaft and keep out humidity is something called Porosity Control. Its soooo silky and it makes your hair ultra straight and soft after you use it. Like a conditioner, so its rinsed out, but it evens the ph in your hair to seal the shaft. Thats what weakens and curls black hair...pores and uneven surface. Try it, you may love it.

A do hair on the side (have never had an interest in going to cosmetology school, but have been doing it since my college days) and I know a lot of tricks to work with hair thats "too" curly, straight, kinky or just too irritating.

[LadyP]

I so dont have this problem. I have locs and they dont go anywhere once I get it styled. Love it but I want to cut my hair off right now. Trying to hold on to it for when my day finally comes. I have not a clue how to style it but it will be ok I have time

[KarmaB]

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Originally Posted by twelve_piece I grew up in an all white community, (literally me, sis, and 2 other black kids were the only ones in the elementary school and it was not a small school) so I got made fun of plenty. I hate when people say I have "good hair" or "white-people hair", it's so ridiculous. I just have hair! Ok, stepping away from the soap box before I get carried away.... What do you think about the natural curly look? Not sure how to describe what I'm talking about, but like in the crazy picture of me below only the curls would be really tight, like ringlets and not dry looking. I love that look, I wish my hair would be big but not frizzy. Maybe I can find a pic of what i'm talking about.

I know how you feel. I didn't find friends who were black until I was in college. It was defiantly hard on me.

I think the natural curly look would be beautiful! Especially if you do a TTD!!

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Originally Posted by Gretchen Just want to say that I was TOTALLY NOT offended! I could see that everyone was using the quotes and read that as "the world calls it good hair but what other lable do I use without saying good hair". That was why I commented! I LIKED that everyone used the quote marks rather thans actually saying they HAVE good hair! But - it is understandable to use in the post that way - we ALL knew what you meant by it - even though it is not so PC, "good hair" is pretty understood for the meaning! It was just nice that it was used for the MEANING not with some mean intent! You girls ROCK!

LOL...Ahhh.. Yes, everyone on this site is Awesome!! I love how everyone is so sweet!!

I'm gonna find a picture of the hairstyle that I'm considering for my day and post a pic to see what you all think.

[JUSTUSTWO]

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Originally Posted by twelve_piece I feel ya! I'm thinking after the wedding I'm goin to get one of the locals to braid my hair so I won't have to deal with it for our honeymoon. What's wet & wavy?

Hey there, just catching up on this thread. Wet n wavy hair is human hair that when wet is wavy/curly, but more on the wavy side. It can also be blow dried straight & then curled or set with rollers. When I used to get box braids waaayyy back in the day, I always got wet n wavy hair cuz I loved how it curled up when it was wet. Perfect way to have your hair in the summer or when traveling.

I guess my problem is that usually everytime we go on vacation, my hair is braided. For the last 3 years, I always get cornrows. It's sooo easy & it saves me soo much time! I love being able to get up & go, especially when you're on vacation. I think that I'm so spoiled & now confused cuz this is one of the only times we're going away & I don't want my hair braided & I actually have to deal with my hair.

I like the naturally curly look & I think you'll be fine though if you just leave your hair as is. Maybe you'll be able to find some products that will work with the humidity.