Suprise from FMIL is throwing off my whole "day of" plan!

[Yari]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alyssa Galit - why don't you tell FMIL a semi-truth? tell her that you are so excited about the makeup and so are the BM's but b/c there are so many of them, they don't want to start getting ready that early in the AM so they are going to go to the Spa to get make up done. tell her you are sad about this and you were thinking you and FI could pick up the cost to bring 2 girls from the SPA over to make it easier on the make up artists and so that everyone could get done in a more reasonable window of time

Sneaky, but good!

[1elephant]

i didn't read all of the responses, but i had the same scheduling problem. basically, i said that i didn't care if they got hair or makeup done, but if they did want it done, then they'd have to go early. assign the most important people a time (moms, family, etc.) and let the rest duke it out. with so many girls, there really isn't much choice.

[Can'tHardlyWait]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alyssa Galit - why don't you tell FMIL a semi-truth? tell her that you are so excited about the makeup and so are the BM's but b/c there are so many of them, they don't want to start getting ready that early in the AM so they are going to go to the Spa to get make up done. tell her you are sad about this and you were thinking you and FI could pick up the cost to bring 2 girls from the SPA over to make it easier on the make up artists and so that everyone could get done in a more reasonable window of time

I like where your head's at Alyssa! I think this might have to be a two step process. First, I am going to show FMIL a list with time slots that already has the most important people (mothers, sisters, and me) filled in. I worked it out, and thats going to take up 4 1/2 hours. Then I will show her that there are still 10 other people that have to get done... hopefully she can look at the list and realize its impossible to have people getting hair and makeup done at 730AM.

If that doesnt work, Ill move into plan B, aka, Operation Semi-Truth

[Alyssa]

let us know what happens!

[BillysBride]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Galit Thanks for all the suggestions ladies... I would LOVE to hire two more people to help out, but my inlaws are paying for the entire wedding, so every additional thing is coming out of their pocket. I don't think I could tell my FMIL that she needs to hire 2 morepeople on top of what she is already spending. The money thing has been a really touchy issue for me throughout this whole planning process, bc as much as I love my inlaws, I cant talk to them the way I would with my own parents. I was thinking of paying for 2 more girls myself, but then I think FMIL might be offended... as if what she did wasn't good enough The other thing is, all the family that would be getting done is from FI's side (except for my mom). That means I would basically be telling FMIL that my bridesmaids are more important than her sister and mother. I talked to FI about it, and he agrees with me that the bridal party is more of a priority, but how do I say that to his mother?!?! I would just hate it if my BM's felt like they HAD to get their hair and makeup done at 9am to make me happy... if it was me, I would rather not get it done at all. I mean, who wants to worry about melting makeup all freakin day long! Everytime i think about this it makes me want to go:

Oy! Ya, ouch. I can see even more of a pickle for you with this whole thing now that I know they are footing the bill all around. Thats such a tremoundous gesture, and I know I'd probably kill to have my wedding paid for. BUT, I can understand how it could be making you feel like you shouldn't say a word about anything. Catch 22.

I love the idea someone had of doing a scheduling sheet then sending it to all your maids. Let them have some incentive for getting it back to you KNOWING that its up to them to get a good time slot for themselves. As long as they all live within the same area that is. Having some out of state wouldn't be fair in that case. But, other than that, I'd say you would have to tell your FMIL about your predicament AND asser that you feel your bm's should be a priority. Are you having pics taken prior to the ceremony of the wedding party? Because that could be a viable "excuse"

Just remember...I'm pretty sure you didn't ask them to pay for it and it IS still YOUR wedding no matter who is footing the bill. You deserve to have a stress free day and to be able to honor your wedding party and their traveling so far to be a part of your day in whatever manner you see fit. Its ok to say that the bridesmaids need to come first in this instance, in my opinion.