Having an invitation mini-crisis, can you help?

[manda0812]

love to see the ugly invites! sounds like your new solution will be great, do all these destinations require headcounts so far in advance? our resort only wants to know final numbers a week before? Maybe this is normal for Mexico?

[becks]

Hi Maura:

 

I'm sorry your invites were ugly! Especially after the go-around with the FI!

 

It sounds like you've madeup your mind, but one thought if your budget just won't get it done - to to microsoft clip art gallery and do a keyword search on "stockxpert" and "iStockphoto". There are several really nice graphics that, while not looking anything like the white aisle invite, are very pretty and might work for your purposes.

[Maura]

you guys are seriously the best! my FI bust out last night that he hates them, but then i reminded him that 1) i am paying for the invitations, and 2) i went with the more boring, bland, traditional wedding invitations being sent to his family and friends in mexico. i am hoping when they arrive, he feels differently.

 

i havent had a chance to scan the uglies yet, but promise to do it tonight! i cant wait to get my sample in the mail from white aisle, hopefully it comes tomorrow. i am just so tired of invitations by now, that i just want to get them done with no more fighting about our vast differences in taste and what he deems appropriate for a wedding invitation.

 

i told him that i thought his view was based on a cultural difference and he got so mad at me last night haha. he thinks invitations with graphics on them are "low-class, tacky, tasteless, inelegant" etc etc. I told him with all due respect, i disagree and I think the fact that we are from different cultures is why. You shoulda seen the shade of red his face was.

[rodent]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mauraw you guys are seriously the best! my FI bust out last night that he hates them, but then i reminded him that 1) i am paying for the invitations, and 2) i went with the more boring, bland, traditional wedding invitations being sent to his family and friends in mexico. i am hoping when they arrive, he feels differently. i havent had a chance to scan the uglies yet, but promise to do it tonight! i cant wait to get my sample in the mail from white aisle, hopefully it comes tomorrow. i am just so tired of invitations by now, that i just want to get them done with no more fighting about our vast differences in taste and what he deems appropriate for a wedding invitation. i told him that i thought his view was based on a cultural difference and he got so mad at me last night haha. he thinks invitations with graphics on them are "low-class, tacky, tasteless, inelegant" etc etc. I told him with all due respect, i disagree and I think the fact that we are from different cultures is why. You shoulda seen the shade of red his face was.

Is it a cutural thing? Anny is making some beautiful decorative invites in Mexico. I think it might be an upbringing type of thing. I love decorative stuff. But some of my friends think wedding invites have to be ivory with little pieces of tissue and the most decorative the can get is a scripty font & some embossing. I totally don't agree. I get bored with the typical invite. If people thought my bright blue invites were tacky then they can just call me Tacky McTackerson

I thought white aisle invites were high class. They look so formal too me.

[Maura]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morgan Is it a cutural thing? Anny is making some beautiful decorative invites in Mexico. I think it might be an upbringing type of thing. I love decorative stuff. But some of my friends think wedding invites have to be ivory with little pieces of tissue and the most decorative the can get is a scripty font & some embossing. I totally don't agree. I get bored with the typical invite. If people thought my bright blue invites were tacky then they can just call me Tacky McTackerson I thought white aisle invites were high class. They look so formal too me.

i think its a combo of culture and upbringing. he comes from a very wealthy family, and especially because mexico city (i cant speak for every other city in mexico) is very classist, he grew up with a lot of things and notions that are different from the way i was raised. he always only attended private bilingual schools, always had a chauffeur, a live-in maid and another maid who came (and still comes to his parents home) 3x a week. Because his family is wealthy, they subscribe to a lot of the formalities that come with wedding stuff -- like all white super formal invitations -- which I just dont think are appropriate for a DW, but I went with it because it was their tradition, their cultural norm. He didnt want script, and his mom kind of threw a fit about it at first. Then she eventually softened to the idea. I personally love Anny's colorful invites, they are more my style. I like colorful things. However, my FI deems them inappropriate. One of the invitations I initially liked was colorful and had a palm tree graphic, and he told me it looked tacky and like a children's bday party invitation.

One thing I feel we are constantly having to consider when doing wedding stuff is how the mexican guests will perceive things. For example, we aren't doing a welcome dinner or a rehearsal dinner because those are not custom in Mexico. My FI really doesnt want to do OOT bags because the mexican guests "will think it's weird" -- but realizes that not doing anything for the americans will be rude, because they will expect something. Among the social circle his parents belong to, when someone has a DW, most people fly in on Friday and leave Sunday. The time they're there other than the actual wedding is generally spent catching up with friends on their own so they dont like planned stuff. I feel like much of what we plan, or rather what I agree to, is being done in order to impress my FMIL's friends --- which I am OK with. She was generous enough to offer to pay for my dream wedding, and is sparing no expense, which my parents never could have afforded to contribute a dime to, that I feel its a small concession on my part to let her do stuff like invite a few extra guests, we are doing all the mexican catholic traditions for our ceremony, etc.

I only asked that I have complete control over 2 things: the photographer, and the wedding invitations being sent in the U.S.

I love decorative stuff too, so call me Tacky McTackerson. I felt the white aisle invites were very classy, and not overly casual with the graphics. I thought (and still think) they're elegant and lovely. I still want them. I dunno it's a difficult situation coming from two totally different backgrounds, and don't get me wrong its not like I grew up in the sticks, I grew up in an affluent Chicago suburb, attended the best public schools etc. I think the cultural opinions we each have sometimes cause problems like this between us, because he will never change his view, and I am not willing to bend mine either. I don't want to send wedding invitations that don't show my personality at all, and I dont want to regret sending something I'm unhappy with, ESPECIALLY because I'm paying for them, you know?

[rodent]

To me it sounded like he is from a wealthy family from the way you described his feelings about the invites. This sounds like way too much to have to stress about for invitations. I'm sorry you are having to figure all this out.

[Maura]

ok, i really cant seem to capture the true ugliness, but here's the best shot i can get. the paper quality of the folder is just really really poor. we arent crazy about the paper samples they sent us that matched. obiously, ignore that the paper that has our details on it is reg computer paper and i didnt cut completely straight on the lines. but they look just awful.

 

[becks]

Hmmm. Well, I wouldn't say they were ugly. I'd definitely call them ordinary. And they don't seem to have any of your personality.

 

The white aisle ones are so much more you.

 

I think you're totally right to be switiching - if I were a guest, I'd much rather receive the white aisle invites.

[Helen_S81]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mauraw i think its a combo of culture and upbringing. he comes from a very wealthy family, and especially because mexico city (i cant speak for every other city in mexico) is very classist, he grew up with a lot of things and notions that are different from the way i was raised. he always only attended private bilingual schools, always had a chauffeur, a live-in maid and another maid who came (and still comes to his parents home) 3x a week.

I have a friend who grew up in Mexico City and was used to the things you describe above. She married a Canadian guy. The way they solved the 'cultural' differences was to have two weddings. They got married in Canada first and his family planned the wedding the way they wanted it, then they flew to Mexico and her family planned another wedding the way they wanted.

But she did tell me that she had nothing to do with the planning of either wedding. She just let the families do their thing and just showed up in a dress. She was too busy getting her phd to worry about it.

Hopefully you find a solution to the invitation dilema that you can both be happy with.