FIL's dont want us having DW...WTF

[BarefootBride]

Have your DW!!! Maybe a AHR for those who cant make it... but be sure to video tape it and show how much fun everyone at the AHR missed!!!

[manda0812]

I am sure we have the same FI's! I still have not worked out my the in-laws think they have a big say in this when most of the time they don't pay or contribute very little. Then they want to invite every man and his dog who you know damn well can't and won't attend a DW.. I feel your pain but we live away from all our parents so no matter where we had it, one group would have to travel so we thought it best that they all travel. and as everyone else has said, it is your special day and you need to do what suits you. They will all have a good time once they get there if they don't let their gripes get in the way. Happy Planning

[becks]

This comes from another thread somewhere - it stuck with me as a great response to this stuff:

 

This is MY wedding. You already had yours. Remember?

[twinkletoes]

Everyone has said so many great things and given great advice.

 

I too am suffering from the FIs family DW WTF, lol.

 

We told our families more than a year ago about the trip, before we even got engaged!!! At the time, everyone was jumping for joy to go. But when the time came to put out or shut up, they just complain!

 

Not a week goes by where we dont receive a text, phone call, or get into a conversation about having the DW in the US from one of his family members. The latest being a text from one of his sisters asking, did we even think about all of his aunts, uncles, cousins, blah blah blah that may want to go but cant (she even had the audacity to include a list of everyone's excuses for not being able to go, one including fear of flying!)

 

I even tried to explain to his family that if we did have it in the US, they would still have to travel to FL (b/c thats where I'm from), pay for a hotel, gas, etc. So money still has to be spent, why not spend it on a vacation? My family was a little hesitant at first, b/c this is something new to them, but most have already did the necessary things to prepare for the trip, like getting their passports. Which really surprised me, b/c I thought I was going to have problems out of them. At this point, it looks like none of my FIs family will be there, which I can tell upsets him.

 

My FI and I sat down, b/c we were both were having 2nd thoughts due to the # of people complaining about the wedding. We actually wrote out the pros and cons, and in the end, our decision was, F it. Those who come, will come, those who won't , wont. We only live once and this is something WE want. What pisses me off the most is that WE are paying for the wedding ourselves, no one else. And we too, even offered to help pay for certain people to come, even though we dont really have the money to spend, but are willing to do so if they are willing to meet us half way on something. What made me feel better was hearing my mom tell me that even if its just me and my FI, thats all that should matter, b/c starting a new life together starts with us.

 

Okay, I'm done venting in your thread, lol.

 

I said all that to say, now when anyone asks why are you guys having a DW, my reply is simple...Why Not?

[manda0812]

venting is fun isn't it! what gets me is that we have invited people knowing full well they probably wouldn't come but when they sent back their rsvp saying no, there was no thank you for the invite, sorry we can't come, have a great day etc etc.. I am sure I wasted at least 20 stamps! aah that feels better...

[Leslie-Xcaret09]

Im so glad I have you girls! Thank you for all the great advice and for letting me vent! I guess I should call FMIL and ask her what day she wants me to get pregnant and how she wants us to raise the child since we dont seem to do much right for them! LOL

 

Hopefully they soon are ok with the idea of a DW but who knows. The same thing happened with them when we bought or house...."its too big, too expensive...yada yada" so we actually canceled our closing (ONLY BECAUSE THEY WERE NOT HAPPY!). A few weeks later after another seller fell through we said F them and put a bid on the house again and got it. We couldnt be happier here so Im glad we didnt listen to them then, guess Ill have to kind of ignore them now too.

 

Guess I have a long life ahead of me with PITA inlaws!!!

[chonda25]

UMMMMM NO.. do not cancel what you and your FI planned on doing. This is your wedding. The thing is people gets the whole wedding thing mixed up. I understand it would be nice for family and friends to attend but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. Maybe you can throw a little reception after you come back from your honeymoon

[Saraha]

Like pretty much everyone said adbove.... this is your day not theirs. The most important thing is that you do what you and you Fi want to do. No matter what decision you make there will always be people who disagree with what you are doing. Unfortunately in this case it is you FMIL. But do what you want and now what others want you to do, That will be your biggest regret!

[twinkletoes]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LMP333 Im so glad I have you girls! Thank you for all the great advice and for letting me vent! I guess I should call FMIL and ask her what day she wants me to get pregnant and how she wants us to raise the child since we dont seem to do much right for them! LOL Hopefully they soon are ok with the idea of a DW but who knows. The same thing happened with them when we bought or house...."its too big, too expensive...yada yada" so we actually canceled our closing (ONLY BECAUSE THEY WERE NOT HAPPY!). A few weeks later after another seller fell through we said F them and put a bid on the house again and got it. We couldnt be happier here so Im glad we didnt listen to them then, guess Ill have to kind of ignore them now too. Guess I have a long life ahead of me with PITA inlaws!!!

Are your future inlaws related to my FMIL? lol. I swear she said the same thing when we bought our house last year (along with several of his siblings)! And to me our house is small! his mom said its too big for us not to have any kids.

And dont even get me started on the kids subject! I have lost count over the # of times I've been asked when I'm going to get pregnant! (FI has 7 siblings, and all have kids, even his younger ones) WTF!!! His parents have (if I'm not mistaken on my calculations) 36 grandkids ranging from newborn to age 19! I think there are enough kids in the family already! These folks are crazy! Ok, sorry, I stole the thread again,lol. I'm giving it back now, :~) I just felt like

[texasex]

I agree. This is your day. If you start doing EVERYTHING FILs want now, it will never end!