Opt out of reception?

[rodent]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tammy Host that is how i felt...if they were gonna spend the $$ and vacation time to be with us i was gonna make it worth it. sailing/snorkel trips spa day deep sea fishing atv mexican fiesta welcome dinner brunch with the married couple they could choose to do as much or little as they wanted/

I don't think it always take activities & meals to make it worth a guest's time. I know my guests are just excited to be going to Mexico. If a person didn't feel it was worth coming to mexico with the amount of things we are planning, I'd rather they just not come.

But, I think it's great to throw in things like this. I'm sure it was wonderful & they really appreciated it. If someone isn't planning on doing anything, I still think it can be great.

I wouldn't want to make a big trip to someone's wedding & not get to spend time with them. But, we'll all be at the same hotel. For me it's all about the time together. I don't really care what we are doing. I don't see how we can not have a great time staying at an AI on a beautiful beach.

[TammyWright]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morgan I don't think it always take activities & meals to make it worth a guest's time. I know my guests are just excited to be going to Mexico. If a person didn't feel it was worth coming to mexico with the amount of things we are planning, I'd rather they just not come. But, I think it's great to throw in things like this. I'm sure it was wonderful & they really appreciated it. If someone isn't planning on doing anything, I still think it can be great. I wouldn't want to make a big trip to someone's wedding & not get to spend time with them. But, we'll all be at the same hotel. For me it's all about the time together. I don't really care what we are doing. I don't see how we can not have a great time staying at an AI on a beautiful beach.

i forgot to add, that is just my co-dependant side...i am the type of hostess that wants everyone to be happy, cover all my bases etc. i have poker parties and the food is always top notch, try to have people to help babysit for the parents that bring their kids etc...just my personality...now my husband, he could care less about all the stuff planned (except deep sea fishing).

i looked at it like this: this was one of the few time all of our friends and family were going to vacation with us and i wanted to make it stick out as an experience of a lifetime...i wanted them to go home thinking "that was the best wedding AND vacation i have ever been to!".

[starchild]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tammy Host i looked at it like this: this was one of the few time all of our friends and family were going to vacation with us and i wanted to make it stick out as an experience of a lifetime...i wanted them to go home thinking "that was the best wedding AND vacation i have ever been to!".

For us that was most likely the first and last time all these people would be assembled together on vacation too. And the reviews are in, they all said it was the best! Just being together so far from home is special and there are many ways to do it.

[rodent]

Quote:

Originally Posted by starchild For us that was most likely the first and last time all these people would be assembled together on vacation too. And the reviews are in, they all said it was the best! Just being together so far from home is special and there are many ways to do it.

That is great. I think the best complement I could hear after my wedding is that it was the best vacation they have been on. I'm glad your guests had such an amazing time.

[Alesha4]

Quote:

Originally Posted by amyh I will not be deleting your posts. And no, its not turning into I just think you are very passionate about as am I. The original post asked if it was tacky, i didn't say it was. I only said that I would be disappointed if I attended a DW that did not have some sort of reception/dinner/ something. With that said, you are spending your money elsewhere, which is great (oot bags, excursions, etc). However, I am not, we choose to spend our money on a reception.

I am glad you wont be deleting morgans post as I, the original poster, find it very useful. I also like what you just pointed out about the OOT bags. Maybe I can compromise with my FH, no OOT bags but we will have a basic reception

Quote:

Originally Posted by twelve_piece LOL! IMHO, the whole point of a forum is to express different ideas. Everyone just needs to respect each others opinions and not get bent out of shape And all recognize that you can't interpret someones tone in text. I hope they don't delete your posts b/c another bride in the same position may find this a year from now and be happy to see other views. Ok, off my soap box- carry on....

I second this about keeping all opinions!!

I was hoping to find out others that made there way around dishing out buko $$ to throw a DW reception when they new they were going to be throwing a HUGE bash when they got home. I think even if I didn't have a grand reception while away, my friends and family would certainly "feel the love" when they attend my reception at home. But I do feel having something small while away will "tie loose ends", so to speak

[rodent]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alesha4 I am glad you wont be deleting morgans post as I, the original poster, find it very useful. I also like what you just pointed out about the OOT bags. Maybe I can compromise with my FH, no OOT bags but we will have a basic reception I second this about keeping all opinions!!

I am glad you find my posts useful. I was worried I rambled too much an unintentionally offend people in the process which was not my intention. I'd hate to come off as being judgemental.

If you want to have a reception-like thing with your guests without spending any extra money there are definitly ways to do that & people on the forum who can help you plan. With this great resource, I have been able to do more for my guests than I though possible.

OOT bags are also something you can cut from the budget if you need to. Or you can find many ways to save money on putting them together. There is lots of great advice on the forum about OOT bags. I definitly don't think they are neccessary though, just something to do if you want to. A nice "welcome, we are glad you are here" letter would do the trick, too.

[rodent]

http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/t15754

 

You might find this thread to be useful too.

[chicago88]

I would definitely schedule a semi-private dinner and then at least have there be an option to go to a certain area/bar for after dinner drinks, etc... (This is usually free with an AI) I think it's definitely worth it to have a bit of a schedule for your guests on the big day!!

 

I opted for a private reception cuz that's what I wanted & I knew my guests would enjoy it. Also, I did not have an AHR when I returned home-FYI.

 

We didn't do OOT bags but we did hand out personalized travel mugs & hats at our "free" welcome dinner.

[rodent]

After reading this thread

http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/t16904

I realized what went so wrong with my post. I'm worried I came off like I was critising people who go into debt for a wedding or people who spend a lot of money on a wedding. That was not what I was trying to say. I totally respect that we all have different tolerance levels for debt & mine happens to be zero. But, I don't expect others to feel the same as me. Our life experiences shape our feelings about money, so I know not everyone will feel like I do. It's cool though. A bunch of penny pinching misers like me couldn't keep the economy going. I also don't think it's wrong to spend a lot on a wedding if that what the person wants. I just wouldn't want us to encourage someone who doesn't want to spend a lot on their wedding to do so out of pressure.

 

The point I was trying to make was that if someone isn't comfortable with spending enough to do something for their wedding that is usually considered standard, I think we should support them. We can offer up ideas if we have them for how to cover what's needed without blowing the budget.

 

Again, I'm sorry if I seemed rude. I didn't give my email the typical edit of "could this be taking the wrong way" I normally do because I got busy with work. I have complete respect for all types of wedding. Huge elaborate affairs and simple ones. As long as your heart is in the right place I don't think you can go wrong with how you plan your wedding.

 

Thanks everyone for letting me know I came off offensive so I could correct my statement.

[Kat81]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morgan After reading this thread http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/t16904 I realized what went so wrong with my post. I'm worried I came off like I was critising people who go into debt for a wedding or people who spend a lot of money on a wedding. That was not what I was trying to say. I totally respect that we all have different tolerance levels for debt & mine happens to be zero. But, I don't expect others to feel the same as me. Our life experiences shape our feelings about money, so I know not everyone will feel like I do. It's cool though. A bunch of penny pinching misers like me couldn't keep the economy going. I also don't think it's wrong to spend a lot on a wedding if that what the person wants. I just wouldn't want us to encourage someone who doesn't want to spend a lot on their wedding to do so out of pressure. The point I was trying to make was that if someone isn't comfortable with spending enough to do something for their wedding that is usually considered standard, I think we should support them. We can offer up ideas if we have them for how to cover what's needed without blowing the budget. Again, I'm sorry if I seemed rude. I didn't give my email the typical edit of "could this be taking the wrong way" I normally do because I got busy with work. I have complete respect for all types of wedding. Huge elaborate affairs and simple ones. As long as your heart is in the right place I don't think you can go wrong with how you plan your wedding. Thanks everyone for letting me know I came off offensive so I could correct my statement.

Morgan,
I don't think you came off offensive. Just passionate. Everyone here comes from different budgets and different wants of their special day. Everyone here loves you and loves your DIYing ways. Don't let it get to ya!!