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see each other before or not?


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Originally Posted by riubride View Post
I seem to be even more confused now that I've read this thread! At first I wanted to do things more traditionally where my fiance sees me for the first time when I walk down the aisle but now I'm beginning to see the good things about seeing eachother before the ceremony. I would definately love to have a nice private moment with my fiance before the ceremony and I also hope that this will calm my nerves. I cry whenever I think about getting married & saying my vows. I guess I would cry less...
that's why I posted this thread ;-) sorry to confuse you though
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So, we are not traditionalists at all. BUT...

 

My husband insisted on us being apart. I talked him into staying together the night before and we went for a walk on the beach in the morning which was so wonderful given the "scheduling" of everything throughout the rest of the day. It was like stealing a moment in time.

 

He dropped me off at breakfast with my bridesmaids at 9:30 and then the next time he saw me was when I walked down the aisle at 4.

 

I have to say, he was right. I really liked seeing him from afar looking at me with this look that I can't describe but won't ever forget. It felt etheral. I wouldn't have wanted to first see him as we were taking pictures - too administrative. Instead, I looked down the aisle and saw him looking at me with the happiest, cutest most memorable look of my life.

 

I do - however - love the photos that Dino took of him just prior to the wedding when my letter to him was delivered. Knowing how he thinks, I know by the look on his face how he was receiving what I wrote and it's precious to me.

 

He rarely participates in this forum, but he's sitting here with me and I asked him about it - here's his comment verbatim,

 

"the first time I wanted to see my bride in her wedding dress is when she was coming to me, ready to say our vows. When you're taking photos - it should be as a married couple - not ten minutes before you got married. Plus, it ruins it - it treats the wedding ceremony itself as a detail that has to be gotten out of the way as opposed to the pictures that have to be gotten out of the way. I stood with my feet grounded to the earth (which is why we got married on a beach) looking at my bride coming to me to say THE most important words that I will ever hear. That was the most important thing to me and my heart skipped when I saw you. At that moment, I had tunnel vision and I would never have changed it."

 

So, it is, of course, going to be unique per couple. But I agree with him - when I first saw him it was the most unique experience of my life. Like opening a gift when you're five years old. I was so happy to get to the end of the aisle and hold his hands. I spent the entire ceremony just looking at him. I wouldn't have had those moments if we would have gotten together before. It's romantic, the tunnel vision that no one else is around you except everyone is around you.

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Originally Posted by JPMO View Post
Initially, I planned for our first look to occur at the ceremony. I am also having second thoughts due to lighting and the desire to keep the cocktail hour and reception moving.

FI could care less which we choose. His statement is, "tell me what time and place to show up and I'll be there." We haven't really discussed if we'll share our room the night before but I do know that he plans to be golfing/spa-ing the morning/afternoon of the wedding.

? for photographers:
I scheduled 1hour pf photography before ceremony to capture us with our bridal parties. If we decide to see each other shoulh I schedule 1.5hr before the ceremony.

We have 2 photographers covering the day. One likes "tighter" shots that the others... does that make any sense? I think thats wht she said.
Jenetta, I don't know what time you're getting ready, but we had TONS of time before the lighting was right to start taking photos so we had plenty of time to hang out at the cocktail hour both before and after the photos were taken.

We did take photos apart (me with bridesmaids, him with groomsmen) in advance of the wedding. We left 1.5 hours ahead of the ceremony to take these shots, though. It's tough to mobilize people.
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Natasha,

I just got a little teary eyed...I think that hearing that has helped me to realize that if I try to get pictures "out of the way" I will not be putting what is important as a priority. I have been really torn on this issue thanks Natasha and Shawn

ps. really weird but my dad's name is Shawn and he and my mom got married on 11/11/77...

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It depends. If i can afford to fly my two little sisters down to Mexico than NO, they will help me get ready and they will walk me down the aisle. BUT if not than Ryan and I will probably get ready together and he will walk me down the aisle. I like this idea a lot and Ryan would rather do it this way too.

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  • 7 years later...

We're going old school and not seeing each other before the ceremony.  I even moved the ceremony up earlier in the day at my photographers request, so we'd have enough time for pictures.

 

I so love the idea of the first time he sees me on the day is walking down the aisle.  And FI actually feels really strongly about it too.  He was the one who demanded no first look.  I think it's really romantic.

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  • 3 weeks later...

We are going to see each other before. We're getting ready together, as we have done the last four years we have been together <3 We have our photographers with us all the way, and I want them to capture the small things. Like the fact that I'm the one that always ties his tie when he wears one x)

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