What do you want to know from us Married Gals?

[REBECCA]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mexico15 It is a beautiful dress, but not the style I had in mind. I am not sure why I ended up getting it...I just loved every dress I tried on and I had tried on for 3 weeks. When I put this one on, his mom and sister starting crying, my mom LOVED it, and my dad's face turned really red (which means he loved it)...but what I didn't realize at the time was I CAN'T dance in it!! It has that off the shoulder sleeve thing in lace, so I can't raise my arms up. I LOVE dancing and that is the most important thing...espeically since Eric and I love to twirl around and be crazy. The second thing I don't like is the neck line...I had pictured more of a halter or V-like neck line. AND I LOVE sparkle ...the more beads and sparkle the better This dress just has a little along the top with the lace and on the side. Third, at my alteration appointment last night...the lady told me it is too hard to do that double bussle (whatever that is called) I can only the a single one which only puts my dress under once and touching the floor like a normal dress. I want poof in my trunk But she told me with this dress it just wouldn't work right and be too hard to do. I was balling last night when I got home! Eric was super sweet...he told me we can go and get another dress..."F" the money. But that is a lot of money to me. I was thinking of maybe finding a "lesser" fancy dress and wearing that when we come home for our other reception here. I just don't want this dress thing to ruin my day! I am so mad at myself for getting it now. It is a pretty dress, and I am sure I look good in it, but what was in my head and the dresses I keep seeing on you girls, has me upset that I listen to everyone else and just gave in to quickly. I do like the ebay thing...do you think I can get a dress and have it altered in less than 3 months? Or is that cutting it too close?

Yes absolutely. especially if you get a dress at DB David's Bridal - Bridal Gowns T9303 Off-the-shoulder satin beaded ball gown. or Alfred Angelo Alfred Angelo : Find your dream dress : wedding gowns, bridesmaid dresses, prom dress, flower girl dress and more... ?

Also something to consider is you can wear your current dress for the ceremony and then change into a second, more fun dress for the reception? One of the girls, Tara, did this for her wedding and it turned out great. Check out her photos here http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/t1833

Definitely, if you're crying and upset, then get a different dress. I'm sure you could sell it. Talk to Kash. She already has a buyer for her dress after the wedding. Also, you could try selling it on Craig's List?

[Hummingbird]

I'm so sorry about your dress! Yeah, that does kinda suck that you don't like it. I'm going to be honest with you and say that if you really don't like it, get a new one. There were a couple of little wedding details that I didn't fix (not my dress) before our wedding, and while they were really insignificant compared to everything else, to this day I still wish we had gone back and gotten the items we really wanted. So IMHO, a dress is much more important, and if you don't like it, look for one that you really love. I also understand about the dancing; I had to get a dress that I could dance in, and if you can't raise your arms, that's a big deal!

 

One thought - is there any way the current dress can be altered, or the lacey part changed so that you can raise your arms? Also, sometimes you can add beading to a dress. I did that with mine; it had absolutely none, but it did have beautiful embroidery, so I just added beads in the embroidery to add some sparkle. I dunno, it's a thought.

 

Try Ebay (add a reserve, though) or there is also a site for selling upscale wedding dresses:

 

Used wedding dresses. New, sample & used designer gowns. Buy & sell online.

 

They have all kinds of dresses on there; sometimes that site is better than Ebay. You could even look there for your own dream dress! I think 3 months is enough time, personally, even if it has to be an off-the rack dress. Also, some shops CAN rush the dress order. They always tell brides that they must have 6 months to order, but sometimes they can rush things. I got a bridesmaid's dress from David's Bridal in a week one time, when I needed it right away. So, it never hurts to ask. (And I was only engaged for 4 months, found my dress off the rack and I loved it!)

 

Oh, and I don't know if any girls on here have ever used this shop, but Pearl's Place has a good reputation, too:

 

Pearl's Place

 

Hope that helps! Don't worry, you'll find something!

[TammyB]

Ok post your dress again so I can see it. I like Rebecca's idea about getting a second less expensive dress for your reception that you will fell comfortable dancing around in.

[Nrvsbride]

You should post your pic so we can see it and see if we can come up with ideas. But I think Rebecca's idea is the best, you should get a less expensive gown for the reception. Maybe once you have a gown you can dance in, you won't hate the first one so much and you will be happy to have all your pictures of you wearing it. And def try Craigs List b/c honestly if I saw a gown I loved I would buy it used. I have no problems with this and I don't really care to have "my own" gown so you never know someone out there may really want your gown.

 

-Glenda

[Jessalyn]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nrvsbride You should post your pic so we can see it and see if we can come up with ideas. But I think Rebecca's idea is the best, you should get a less expensive gown for the reception. Maybe once you have a gown you can dance in, you won't hate the first one so much and you will be happy to have all your pictures of you wearing it. And def try Craigs List b/c honestly if I saw a gown I loved I would buy it used. I have no problems with this and I don't really care to have "my own" gown so you never know someone out there may really want your gown. -Glenda

I definitely agree with Glenda and Rebecca. You want to be comfortable and love your dress.

[NATASHA]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mexico15 Ok...my question is about your dresses! How important was your dress the day of the wedding? I HATE my dress now---and am VERY upset about it...but don't think I can just throw away $1200 and get a new one. Are you having so much fun that I probably won't worry about my stupid dress? Or was that a HUGE part and I am going to have a crappy day??

I'm going to give you an honest answer. You're going to look at your pictures a lot. I loved my dress - still do. I wish I had hemmed it flat-footed rather than in heels and I think that from time to time when I look at my photos. I didn't like my hair - still don't. I notice it more looking at photos - but it in NO WAY ruined my day or my memory of the day.

If you're comfortable in your dress - you'll have a great time. If you're struggling with it (too tight, falling down,e tc.) that's a different story. I agree with Rebecca, try on your dress in full make-up and with your jewelry on. If you still really hate it, can you take it back in exchange for another?

[gkashmira]

If you HATE your dress then sell it and get a new one. But if it's the dance issue then I think getting a less expensive dress for the reception is a great idea! It doesn't hurt to go to David's or Alfred Angelo (though my friend had a bad experience with her bridesmaid dress from there) and see what you find. You may be able to find your dream dress for under $500! If so buy it and sell your other dress on Craigslist.

 

There's a thread somewhere that lists tons of resale shops. Also if it IS designer then you can actually consign it with WHITE in Chicago. They sell the dress for you and you get 50%. I would only do this if you're unable to sell the dress yourself. I found more than one buyer on Craigslist for my dress and I haven't even gotten it from the bridal shop yet!

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I agree with the above suggestions of trying it with hair and make-up and also talk to the seamstress about having it altered so you can move!

 

Good luck - PM me if you need help!

[gkashmira]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nrvsbride You should post your pic so we can see it and see if we can come up with ideas. But I think Rebecca's idea is the best, you should get a less expensive gown for the reception. Maybe once you have a gown you can dance in, you won't hate the first one so much and you will be happy to have all your pictures of you wearing it. And def try Craigs List b/c honestly if I saw a gown I loved I would buy it used. I have no problems with this and I don't really care to have "my own" gown so you never know someone out there may really want your gown. -Glenda

Glenda - i love your new pic!

[NATASHA]

Quote:

Originally Posted by weez Ok so heres another one for you guys! Not sure if someone asked already so sorry if you did, but, as far as the actual marriage goes, do any of you feel that there is a difference in your relationships now that you are hubby and wife? Have heard that no matter how much you think it wont, the day to day dynamics change? True? Thanks guys!

It is definitely different for me. I dated a man for 10 years and figured that I would never get married - no need if the committment is in your heart.

When I met my husband, I understood that there really is a difference and that's crystalized now that we're married. Everything is thought of in the long-term:
a) where to go on vacation ("OK, let's go to Italy this year and then in a few years we can go back to Spain")

how to handle the finances - it's a much different ball-game when you're planning for two. plus, you're planning together and mapping out your careers together. We have never had money issues as we think very similarly, even in our risk vs. reward in terms of the types of investments, but that is probably very different for a lot of couples and should be thought through and discussed extensively before you get married

c) if something happens to you, he's there. He's in the hospital with you, helping you make decisions and he's treated with respect. If he was your boyfriend, he really doesn't get a say.

Mostly, without your knowledge, you work together with a long-term focus. You have to or it doesn't work. I'm trying to put my finger on it, but it's tough to communicate. Having been in a long-term committed relationship before, though, I can say that it is totally different.

[mexico15]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TAMMYM Ok post your dress again so I can see it. I like Rebecca's idea about getting a second less expensive dress for your reception that you will fell comfortable dancing around in.

The only picture I have from it is from the back. We never did get pictures of it from the front (not sure what happend that day) and I forgot my damn camera on the table the day I tried it back on for the alterations (Tuesday)! This is a picture of what it looks like on the model...
Pronovias, 2006

However, I do not look that good in it. I like it a lot when I see it on her! But it looks dumb on me and not at all as flattering as it is on her...Plus I can't move in it to dance.

I am just going to shop for another dress for the reception or see if they can cut the sleeves off and make it a sleeveless. Hopefully that will work. Thanks for all your support ladies!! I appreciate it. I just needed to vent and talk it out with people!! Hopefully after the first alterations it will look better on me.