Confessions

[samanthag]

I confess that for the last 2 Sundays I've been addicted to watching

America's Next Top Model (Obsessed).

They show the entire season in 1 day and my a** is stuck to the couch ALL day! - I need to know what happens next! ha!

I know it's getting bad because I try to hide it from FI when he gets home.

I just hit record & change the channel so I don't have to hear any lip from him!

 

hey it could be worse right?

[JHarwood2Be]

I confess that my FI has been OOT since Wednesday and I have not worked out and have blown my diet.

I have had Little Caesars (stretched to 3 meals), Panda Express ( stretched to 2 meals) and Taco Cabana (1 meal). I have no accountability. You'd think that my dress fitting tomorrow would be enough to motivate me, but nooooo.

 

I suck.

[KLC77]

I confess that DH and I have been fighting (more like bickering) fairly often recently, but when we fight we don't actually discuss anything or solve anything. Either he leaves or I tell him not to come here and then the next day we act as though nothing happened. Its so frustrating. We're still not living together 100% of the time and that makes it so easy to just avoid the situations. I'm so frustrated.

[yamille]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KLC77 I confess that DH and I have been fighting (more like bickering) fairly often recently, but when we fight we don't actually discuss anything or solve anything. Either he leaves or I tell him not to come here and then the next day we act as though nothing happened. Its so frustrating. We're still not living together 100% of the time and that makes it so easy to just avoid the situations. I'm so frustrated.

Kelly- I'm so sorry that you guys are fighting. I would be totally frustrated not living together as well. You have a right to be and in some way I am guessing that your DH is feeling guilty- since you are married and all that. Not living together definately make it easier to avoid "resolving" anything.

Have you sat down and really had a heart to heart about this with him? You are not holding grudges the next day (or at least not saying anything about it) so that leads me to believe that the argument topics are not important and the fights are really about something deeper. My only suggestion is to really sit and talk and tell him that things HAVE to change. I know you really want to live together and maybe make some sort of rule that if you have am arguement you can't just leave or avoid it- both of you. There may not be a resolution each time but at least you won't have the awful, frustrated feeling.

It sucks. Relationships are hard. I am having a tough time over here too- but that's another post...

[Duchess]

Yeah, marriage is really hard! I love it, but find it somewhat challenging too. DH is in school full time and got a big shot new job on top of it, and I think his priorities are not in the right order. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and talking through stuff has really been good for us. Kelly, you have to talk to him. I hadn't seen an update in a while, but last I had heard, he was dragging his feet. He has to know that the time for that is over!

[KLC77]

Quote:

Originally Posted by yamille Kelly- I'm so sorry that you guys are fighting. I would be totally frustrated not living together as well. You have a right to be and in some way I am guessing that your DH is feeling guilty- since you are married and all that. Not living together definately make it easier to avoid "resolving" anything. Have you sat down and really had a heart to heart about this with him? You are not holding grudges the next day (or at least not saying anything about it) so that leads me to believe that the argument topics are not important and the fights are really about something deeper. My only suggestion is to really sit and talk and tell him that things HAVE to change. I know you really want to live together and maybe make some sort of rule that if you have am arguement you can't just leave or avoid it- both of you. There may not be a resolution each time but at least you won't have the awful, frustrated feeling. It sucks. Relationships are hard. I am having a tough time over here too- but that's another post...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duchess Yeah, marriage is really hard! I love it, but find it somewhat challenging too. DH is in school full time and got a big shot new job on top of it, and I think his priorities are not in the right order. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and talking through stuff has really been good for us. Kelly, you have to talk to him. I hadn't seen an update in a while, but last I had heard, he was dragging his feet. He has to know that the time for that is over!

Thanks for the support ladies. Lately I really feel like I'm always waiting around for him. Like, I'm not at the top of his list and I should be. Its kind of like he can deal with me last because he knows I'm not going anywhere, if that makes sense. Its just frustrating and I've mentioned it before and he just says I'm crazy and its not true. But to me, it is true, which is what he doesn't get. I'm thinking about looking for a therapist. I don't think that either of us knows what we're doing.

[BachataBride]

Awh Kelly...that sucks. I hope you guys can work through this. Just in the short time we've chatted I know you are a wonderful person & you deserve to be happy. I really wish we could get into our guys' heads every now & then. I truly believe that sometimes they just don't get it. I know you've talked to him, but have you maybe tried writing him a letter? Sometimes it may be easier to write everything down - and that way you'll get everything out that you want to instead of being interrupted with his thoughts/opinions. He may take you a little more seriously if you give him a letter?? I don't know...I just hope it works out.

If you need to chat I'm here!

[KLC77]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BachataBride Awh Kelly...that sucks. I hope you guys can work through this. Just in the short time we've chatted I know you are a wonderful person & you deserve to be happy. I really wish we could get into our guys' heads every now & then. I truly believe that sometimes they just don't get it. I know you've talked to him, but have you maybe tried writing him a letter? Sometimes it may be easier to write everything down - and that way you'll get everything out that you want to instead of being interrupted with his thoughts/opinions. He may take you a little more seriously if you give him a letter?? I don't know...I just hope it works out. If you need to chat I'm here!

Thanks Amanda. I might try that. He might take me seriously if I take the time to write everything down and like you said he can read all of my thoughts and they won't be interrupted. I know that a huge part of the problem is our living situation. I feel unsettled because I know we aren't going to be in the apt I live in long. I just don't feel home, ya know? There are things in boxes, its not decorated in a way I like and I'm not going to put in that effort when we're not going to live here long. I'm the type of person who if I feel unsettled in one area then it throws off everything else. I'm having a hard time adjusting to the fact that there is someone else involved in my decision making and I have to WAIT for that person. I think we are going to try to talk tonight. Hopefully we get somewhere.

[BachataBride]

I hope the talk tonight goes well. And I know what you mean about being unsettled. We were in an apartment for 2+ years when it was only supposed to be one. I didn't bother with personal touch decorating/painting/etc because we weren't supposed to be there that long. And I can definitely understand you're frustration with not living together still & having to wait on someone else to make it happen. I thought you found a place though?? What happened there?? Are you guys any closer to living together?? I'm sure the fact that you're worried about your kitty is just adding extra stress too. You need a vacation girl!!!

[yamille]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KLC77 Thanks Amanda. I might try that. He might take me seriously if I take the time to write everything down and like you said he can read all of my thoughts and they won't be interrupted. I know that a huge part of the problem is our living situation. I feel unsettled because I know we aren't going to be in the apt I live in long. I just don't feel home, ya know? There are things in boxes, its not decorated in a way I like and I'm not going to put in that effort when we're not going to live here long. I'm the type of person who if I feel unsettled in one area then it throws off everything else. I'm having a hard time adjusting to the fact that there is someone else involved in my decision making and I have to WAIT for that person. I think we are going to try to talk tonight. Hopefully we get somewhere.

How did the talk go Kelly?

Just for the record I highly suggest therapy- not becuase of your situation- but I am an advocate for everyone to go. I am a therapist in training still BUT have been in therapy for years. It's just really nice to have an objective voice to bounce everything off of. Also sometimes just the way you communicate with each other may need to be tweaked so everyone is okay. A therapist can help you figure out how to do that for yourselves.