Confessions

[Andi]

ok sorry to change direction on this thread and I know that this has been discussed already but I really just need to vent right now...so please excuse the long winded rant to follow...

 

I confess that sometimes I seriously cannot stand my FMIL and today she has pushed me over the edge...I am just really mad at her right now!

 

So, from the beginning of all the wedding planning we talked with both my parents and my FI's parents about money and who was willing to help us pay for what. I thought that we had basically agreed that our parents would split all of the large things for the wedding (venue, hotel, airfare, photog). So up until this point we have only put deposits down on things and now that we are about two months away and nobody had really said anything about the $$$ I thought it would be a good idea for all 6 of us (his parents, mine and us) to get together this weekend to go over everything remaining for the wedding and figure it all out together...easy enought right?

 

I call my parents...they are fine with it and ask me if the plan is stil to split the balances...I say yes. then I call my FMIL and ask her about this weekend and she basically blows me off and tells me that she is too busy for that this weekend

 

So then my FI just calls me and tells me that his mother is mad at me because I have waited til now to ask to talk about money... ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! she has KNOWN! I thought I was being proactive and doing a good thing by trying to get everyone together!!!!

 

so now I am just mad about the whole $$$ situation and I know that this is me just being a snot but I really don't want his parents to help then at all if she is going to throw a big hissy fit about it! UGH!!!!

 

 

again sorry for the rant...i do oddly feel better now though!

[BachataBride]

That sucks Andi! Don't you just wish that sometimes you had an audio recorder to record certain conversations with people to help them "remember" what's been discussed!! Grrrr!!! $$$ is the root of all evil!! (including MILs!!)

What is your FI's take on this?? Is he able to stand up to his mommy?? If so I would have him talk to her about it!

 

Good luck sweetie

[BachataBride]

How is the house buying going Kelly Has he got his shit together yet??

[Andi]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BachataBride That sucks Andi! Don't you just wish that sometimes you had an audio recorder to record certain conversations with people to help them "remember" what's been discussed!! Grrrr!!! $$$ is the root of all evil!! (including MILs!!) What is your FI's take on this?? Is he able to stand up to his mommy?? If so I would have him talk to her about it! Good luck sweetie

haha...FI is actually pretty good about it...he trys to not take one side or the other and honestly I try to keep him out of the middle of it all. He this his mommy is crazy just like I do though...although I will admit...he does need to totally cut the umbilical cord if you know what i mean!

[KLC77]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BachataBride How is the house buying going Kelly Has he got his shit together yet??

Ugh, well, apparently he is moving into the apartment that I am in on the back of my parents house until we figure something else out. Long story short, its not what I want, but it'll have to do for now. I guess the positive side is that at lleast I'll be living with him!

Andi, that stinks about your fmil. I would think she would be happy you are bringing everyone together to talk about things in advance. Its not like you've waited until 2 weeks before.

[Kat81]

Kelly that is a step in the right direction. The only step from there is buying a place so YAY!

[KLC77]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kat81 Kelly that is a step in the right direction. The only step from there is buying a place so YAY!

Or we could live with my parents until we are old and gray... lol Just kidding. You're right, it is a good thing. Just not something new and exciting like I was hoping for. He is probably right that it is the right thing for us. I'm just impatient.

[missdanelle]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andi ...although I will admit...he does need to totally cut the umbilical cord if you know what i mean!

I know what you mean Andi! I definately have one of those!

[Dana_C]

I just have to get this off of my chest- so I came over to visit my dad and my step-mom tells me (after he's gone to sleep) that he may be getting laid off from his job of 28 YEARS, which is why he has not given me a direct answer about what they will contribute to the wedding, and now I feel guilty for having a DW! I don't think that money's so bad that they wouldn't come, and I don't mind if they cannot help- but their suggestion is that we have it at home!! I don't see how putting ourselves in debt for the kind of wedding that we don't even want is a solution...

[BachataBride]

That sucks Dana...these hard financial times are putting such a damper on so many wedding plans. However, if a DW is what you want, then that is definitely what you should have. I would tell your father that given the circumstances you would like his contribution to be getting there, because that's what means the most to you - not the favors, dinner, music, etc. I think they will understand. Why are they pushing for an AH wedding anyway?? Maybe they are not in as good a position as you think. I would probably look into this a little bit more. Then figure out how to deal with it. If you need to vent more you know where to find us!!! Good Luck!!

 

Kelly...I am so glad that you guys will at least be living together now!! You are getting half of what you want anyway! Now you will have more opportunity to be together (and to keep on him about a house!!).