Confessions

[KAMAY11]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickadee024 Here is my confession, hope it's not too personal: I feel like joining a convent. It seems like the FI is always in the mood, and I am not! I have so much stuff going on - my job has just become super-hectic with my program finally going live, I'm trying to plan a wedding and 2 AHRs, my mom (who was supposed to help plan all this) has stage 4 lung cancer that has metastasized to her breast and brain and I'm trying to spend all the time I can with her, trying to arrange a chapter meeting for my professional association, starting to strategize Christmas shopping, plus all the cooking and most of the housework. And he wonders why I'm not in the mood - where am I supposed to get the energy? Plus, he whines and guilt trips whenver I turn him down, which as we all know increases the desire for next time. (For example, he'll ask me to kiss his stomach. I do. Then he sighs really loud and says that he wishes all his dreams would come true. Meanwhile, I'm trying to squeeze in his stomach kisses between reviewing grant applications, loading the dishwasher, and designing the boarding pass invites.) I almost feel like this is pulling us apart. I've told him before that women are different from men. We need to be at ease mentally before we can really relax physically. I suggested that he help ease my burdens (help more with wedding planning and housework), but that lasted all of about a week. And every time I have to remind/ask him to do something, I mentally extend the sex ban because I'm pissed (which doesn't bode well). Should I not get upset when he grabs my boobs when walking in the door after work instead of asking about my day? I think I deserve a little more respect. And it makes me see red when he wakes me up in the middle of the night because he can't control his lust. I'm okay with weekend surprise wake-ups, but since I get up at dawn through the week, I'm not cool with weeknight surprise wake-ups. Does that matter to him? I've been taking Wellbutrin for the depression/anxiety, but feel like I should be taking a women-Viagra as well. I'm not a prude, but I'm marrying David Duchovney and it's not good! I feel better.

I'm happy you posted this---I am not in the mood for sex a lot of the time(for some reason I can't make the first move either)...I am very attracted to my DH but sex seems like such a chore to me some days....I am scared he will go else where!!!
I honestly feel like there is something wrong with me-Can you be attracted to your husband but not want to have sex?!?!!?

[BachataBride]

I'm sure most of us can relate to you chickadee. You are definitely not alone!!

FI and I usually go through spurts - when I'm in the mood he's not, or when he's in the mood I'm not. We just can't click lately!!

One thing that may free up your time a little bit (and not just necessarily for nookie!) but think about hiring a cleaning service to do the housework (major stuff anyway). Have them come in every 1-2 weeks, that's what we plan on doing when we get into the new house. I can think of much better things to be doing with my time than scrubbing toilets!! I don't think they are too pricey!

[~*Kathy*~]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KAMAY11 I'm happy you posted this---I am not in the mood for sex a lot of the time(for some reason I can't make the first move either)...I am very attracted to my DH but sex seems like such a chore to me some days....I am scared he will go else where!!! I honestly feel like there is something wrong with me-Can you be attracted to your husband but not want to have sex?!?!!?

I hear ya, you're not the only one!! It's not like I don't enjoy it, it's just that I don't need to go out of my way to have it. I'll take it if he's offering but my day isn't ruined if I'm not having it. It makes me feel so bad though! I don't think there's anything wrong with any of us, just that guys are ready for it 24/7 and we're not always in need of it as often. I am very attracted to my FI too, I'm just so exhausted all the damn time that I guess I don't ever feel like it...which is sad!!

[Bianca]

I'm about to send these posts to my FI so he knows I'm not the only one!

[BachataBride]

Quote:

Originally Posted by paraisobeachbride2009 I hear ya, you're not the only one!! It's not like I don't enjoy it, it's just that I don't need to go out of my way to have it. I'll take it if he's offering but my day isn't ruined if I'm not having it. It makes me feel so bad though! I don't think there's anything wrong with any of us, just that guys are ready for it 24/7 and we're not always in need of it as often. I am very attracted to my FI too, I'm just so exhausted all the damn time that I guess I don't ever feel like it...which is sad!!

This is not actually not always the case. A good friend of mine is always looking for it and her FI is always too tired!! He does work long hard hours! But it seriously frustrates her. She can't believe when I say FI and I have gone 2-3 weeks!

[chickadee024]

Oh girls, I'm so glad you're all here!

 

I was a little nervous about posting something so intimate, but you all have made me feel so much better and normal!

 

The cleaning service is definitely a good idea, I'll have to look into companies here in Indy.

[chickadee024]

2-3 weeks? Thank goodness I'm not alone!

 

We have some good friends who just got married. The guys are both in the Mason lodge together, and I know that the other couple has sex a couple times a week and that our guys talk about it. I've been very self-conscious about it, since 2-3 weeks is about average.

 

You just made me heave a sigh of relief. I can put the vagina mothballs away.

[KAMAY11]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickadee024 2-3 weeks? Thank goodness I'm not alone! We have some good friends who just got married. The guys are both in the Mason lodge together, and I know that the other couple has sex a couple times a week and that our guys talk about it. I've been very self-conscious about it, since 2-3 weeks is about average. You just made me heave a sigh of relief. I can put the vagina mothballs away.

LMAO-Vagina mothballs?!?!??

[BachataBride]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickadee024 I can put the vagina mothballs away.

OMG I think I'm going to piss my pants!!!

[syl1115]

OMG! I am in Columbus and I am ready to go! Well, at the end of November when I get my divorce money from my ex-job. I tried to get some help from one of the TA's on the forum, but she never returns my emails.