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Confessions

ErinB

By ErinB
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itsfinallyhere

itsfinallyhere

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Originally Posted by ~Stephanie~ View Post
I confess that sometimes I wish that FI's daugther would go live with her Mom. I know that makes me sound evil and hateful but its only because she won't warm up to me no matter how hard I try (partly because she is a teenager and its the age) and because she is the only thing that FI and I ever fight about!

She can't seem to remember to brush her teeth, hair, take a shower, etc. She argues and talks back, which is normal for kids, she doesn't do things with us as a family unless we make her, she only cares about herself. (again, probably normal for a teen).

I always get to be the bad guy telling her to do these things and FI is so passive and I feel like he doesn't care about this stuff. Although he tells me that he agrees with me and is behind me, I don't feel like he is because he doesn't step up and take action with her.

I truly feel like a horrible person for feeling this way, and I would never tell FI that, but when she was gone all summer to her mom's it was so great to not be arguing everyday with her and then with FI about the stuff she wouldn't do.

Ok, someone kick me please.
Oh you poor thing, I can totally understand what you ae going thru. And I will tell you what I think in hopes that it makes you feel a little better. My Fi also had a daughter that throught out the years made me want to scream! Let's start off with her. She is probably a lttl more insecure than your typical teenager, just because of life's circumstances. She does not need you to be her mother, as she already has one (she's propably thinking this). But we can all use an extra friend. As far as her personal habits go they will probably change. For me it was, I will not have a messy house (hehe that was before I had my own!),so when I cleaned the house I would do her room too. She did not want me in there moving things and opening drawers. She wanted her privacy. That was no problem as long as she put things away. I wold put ther laundry on the bed, and come in to vacuum. She would know before hand that I was doing this and did make an effort to "keep me out of her romm". I also think that this shower thing is a phase she will pass thru. As far as FI goes he is probably dealing with his own issues. He does not know whot to handle this and that is why he is avoiding "dealing" with the situation. Don't nag him too much he may come to resent that you are making him be the bad guy with his daughter. Or if you can talk to her mother maybe she can help. My best advice to you is stay strong. Don't let anything wear you down. Sometimes it is not the in-laws that really test your love for each other but family that is even closer (children). They can put a strain on the best off relations. But remember all things change for better or for worse but true love will endure. It can be be very frustrating at times but they do grow and mature. With my expierence, I got pretty lucky. My step-daughter was a little monster that turned out into a pretty wonderful women. I would like to think that I had a small part in that. But with maturity comes a certain 20/20 knowledge. Good luck I hope things work out for sooner rather than later!
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cougs

cougs

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honestly i don't think i would marry anyone i had never had an argument with! you need to know *before* you're married what your style of arguing is, and how the two of you will communicate and work past it ... because the stresses of life will inevitably create some disagreements ... you need to know your guy isn't a total jeckyl and hyde type, lol!

 

besides, a wise person once told me that if two people agree on absolutely everything, then one of them is unnecessary in the relationship, lol!

 

p.s. for the record, DH and i agree on almost NOTHING, haha! sometimes i want to tear my hair out!!! lol

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~*Lisa*~

~*Lisa*~

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lol you girls are SO right! I'm always right, just deal with it! lol The FI and I argue about things too. I'm passionate about my feelings, so they're always coming out and I'm not afraid to say how I feel.

 

Steph - so nice that the FI got you some flowers! I hope everything works out in your favour! :)

 

Alright, so I confess. I've been at work now for about 2 hours and haven't done much more than waste time on here! OOOPPS!! embarrassed.gif

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