Pushy FSIL

[lucy106]

My FI got a call yesterday from his sister. She says to him "Mom and I were thinking what a great idea it would be if my daughter and Stephanie's (thats me) niece were your flower girls". Then she goes on to say that they have to sell their van to make the trip to the wedding.

 

First of all, her husband makes a 6 figure salary and she doesnt work

 

Secondly, we arent having flower girls!!!!!

 

Third, Is she going to next suggest her son me a ring bearer and she be a bridesmaid?

 

Fourth, If you cant afford the trip how was she going to afford the flower girl dress?

 

I mean seriously how nervy? Thankfully my FI informed her of all of this. But I am concerned she had already put in her daughter's mind that she would be in our wedding and now we look like big jerks for breaking a little girls heart. Gotta love family!!

 

I feel better now thanks for letting me vent!!!

[Gretchen]

WOW ~ that does take some nerve. Maybe she was afraid it would just be your niece without the suggestion? Or maybe she is just a big butt-in-ski?

[LisaG]

Wow - that was pretty gutsy of her to assume you would want her in the wedding. Weird. Good for your FH for setting her straight.

[Celina]

Hey - I just realized we have the same wedding date! Woo-Hoo!!

 

Anyhow, if your FI already told her - I wouldn't worry about it. If the little girl asks, smile and tell her politely that you aren't having flower girls, but if you do you will definitely keep her in mind.

[foxytv]

I think your easy/safe response would be "that would be perfect and if we were having flower girls, they would definitely be the only ones I would ask. But we aren't having flower girls, so at least you won't have to worry about any extra expense."

[ACDCDCAC]

Wow Lucy, that sucks! I hope that she didn't tell her daughter already without asking you. If worse comes to worse, and you get totally guilted out, there are more horrible things that could happen than to have a sweet little girl in a pretty dress walk before you down the aisle. But I completely understand, and hope she does too!

[foxytv]

Thought I already posted, but there must have been a server error cos I don't see it.

 

I would think telling her something like this would be safe "that would be a perfect idea, if we were having flower girls, but we thought a lot about how we wanted things, and we prefer to keep it small. but if we did have flower girls, of course your girls would be theo ones!"

[starchild]

Yeah that is pushy and I'm glad she was set straight too!

[becks]

Wow. Really pushy! I can hardly imagine.

 

Had a bit of the same fear about breaking a kid's heart this weekend. FI's niece asked what color dress she ought to be looking for - since all of the girls were supposed to match. Yikes. No flower girls in our party either....

[Copita]

Families are crazy! At least you let them know up front that you decided not to have any. Good for you!