Bad news just flew into town... *UPDATED*

[StephanieMN]

Thanks to all of you for your advice. If I do think it is necessary to get him out of there my first step would be to call his PO, if he gets physical or aggressive my first step is to call the police. I appreciate what you are all saying but this isn't my situation, it is hers. I am just venting and other than what I have done at this point in time, my hands are tied. I am not making excuses just letting you know that this is how I am choosing to deal with it right now. I will let you know if anything more comes up but right now all is calm. She will be over tonight so I should know more. Hugs to you all.

[jajajaja]

Aww Stephanie. This whole situation really sucks. I hope your mom wises up and sees that verbal abuse is only the gateway to more abuse. Especially with this guy. I mean I just can't imagine her thought process. She knows he's a criminal and I'm assuming she's hoping that he has changed his ways. But at the first sign of him regressing towards his past ways, wouldn't you wise and leave him alone? I hope things all change soon and your mother decides not only to postpone the wedding a few weeks, but to not marry him altogether. Stay strong.

[StephanieMN]

You know I think I forgot to mention this huge detail---They are NOT getting married. This whole thing had wised her up and she is making him leave her house. She has his key back and once he gets a ride home he is gone for good. I will breath easier ONCE he is totally out of the state. She actually has wised up...thank freaking GOD!

[Gretchen]

Stephanie,

I have been reading this thread, but felt like I had no words of wisdom so I did not add to it.

I would like to say that I am SO happy that things are looking better for your family and especially for your mom!

What a weight off of your shoulders!

[Maura]

Quote:

Originally Posted by StephanieMN You know I think I forgot to mention this huge detail---They are NOT getting married. This whole thing had wised her up and she is making him leave her house. She has his key back and once he gets a ride home he is gone for good. I will breath easier ONCE he is totally out of the state. She actually has wised up...thank freaking GOD!

oh thank god! glad your mom wised up a bit from this whole incident!!!!!! now she just has to get his butt out of her house...getting the key back was a good first step! she ought to still change her locks anyway for good measure though

[ACDCDCAC]

Wow Steph, so good to know. I hope things with this situation continue to improve, besides that you don't need the stress right now, obviously you don't want anything to happen to her. We'll keep praying for you and her. Big Hugs!

[jajajaja]

Quote:

Originally Posted by StephanieMN You know I think I forgot to mention this huge detail---They are NOT getting married. This whole thing had wised her up and she is making him leave her house. She has his key back and once he gets a ride home he is gone for good. I will breath easier ONCE he is totally out of the state. She actually has wised up...thank freaking GOD!

Oh Yay! Hopefully he STAYS GONE!!

[becks]

SO happy to hear that she's changed her stance on the wedding.

 

You'll need to help her stay strong, though. It's easy to fall back into old habits and think that it was just a one-time thing.

 

And we're here to help if you need us.

[StephanieMN]

I am at a total loss at this point. She is letting him stay. We have looked into it and the odds of us getting anyone to help us is slim. We contacted a lawyer and he said that the police are too busy with major crimes to do anything about him being in MN. We found out it is really common. Just letting you all know that I just need support and not advice--hearing what to try and do only stresses me out as we are doing what we can.

 

My sisters and I are looking in to getting some counseling just so we can try to deal with it.

 

She claims she overreacted! I guess deep down I knew if we didn't get him out of there that night he would stay. I am totally on edge and am having trouble just doing daily tasks.

 

Chris and I have already discussed this and he will not be invited to our wedding,

[starfish kate]

We're here for you Stephanie! You're doing the right thing!