LeanneP

My FI is planning on a simple pair of khakis with a casual short sleeve shirt with a subtle design down the front (think Charlie Harper from Two and a Half Men!). One of the other B2B on this site suggested cubavera.com's linen line which is just what I had envisioned for us. Good luck and congrats!

Like tiffanyt, I'd love some feedback on Wedding Mix too. Wasn't planning on a videographer due to costs but Wedding Mix seems like it could be an afforadable alternative.

I used weddingwire too (started with theknot as well but switched) and have zero complaints. Easy to use and lots of great features like the online RSVP, seating charts and reception music requests. I didn't do a STD because of how our booking deadlines work here in Canada but just went straight to invites with some detail (date, location, resort, RSVP deadline, etc.) but instructed guests to visit the website for details (resort info/pictures, pricing, travel agent info, etc.).

Thank you acw (I think I read on Ashhtayy's thread that it's Ann!). I've seen your many posts and applaud you for sharing your triumps and heartaches. I have no doubt you've helped many, many brides navigate some of the frustrations of DW planning. And you are absolutely right. At the end of the day, it is about enchanging vows with your love. That's it! Whether there is just you guys or 100 in attendance. We are definitely doing a DW. I just never envisioned an at home wedding for myself (even though this is "my" first). We have 15 with deposits down and another 5 -10 maybes. This is happening regardless! LOL And thank you for your advice. I've had another week or more to think about the situation with my stepdaughter. And as much as I want her there, at this point I kind of feel like if she doesn't want to make it a priority, why should we? Of course, I will leave the final decision up to my FI but that's my stance right now. Again, if she was showing some drive and desire to make it happen, I would feel totally different. We're still 7 months out so who knows. Once she's done attending all her friends weddings this summer, and the colder weather approaches, maybe her feelings will change. But maybe not. I am not going to let it ruin my journey to our wedding overlooking the ocean. Thanks again and congrats on conquering the many obstacles in your path to happiness. The quote on my calendar last month said, "Remember, without trials, there would be no triumphs." Probably a good mantra for DW brides! LOL

@ashhhtayy - Thank you so much for taking the time to document your wedding planning journey. Everything, and everyone, looked stunning! I am getting married at the Azul Sensatori next March and will be referencing your post throughout the process. I have a totally different colour scheme but may use some of your etsy vendors and will probably steal your/Jasmin's tumbler label design! Is that Wally bag up for another adventure? It might well end up being the BDW Toronto mascot! LOL I read your entire thread this weekend (51 pages!!) and will definitely be giving the end a second read right before leaving. You did a wonderful job of handling the hiccups with grace and a level head. I will use your post to remind me "not to sweat the small stuff". I have debated starting my own planning thread but am not sure if time will permit. Like you said though, it's nice to have all of your ideas in one place and have the wonderful ladies of BDW there to guide, support and hold you accountable. I may have to reconsider my own thread! Congratulations and once again, thank you!!! Glad your big day was all that you had dreamed it would be.

Thank you so much OttawaBride. We struggle with feeling angry one minute and sad the next over the issue and really don't know what to do. We really want her there but also feel like she hasn't shown any effort what-so-ever. If she was "trying", I would feel completely different. And I agree, it has nothing to do with age. It's attitude , responsibility, compassion, drive., etc. And that can be present (or absent) at any age. I guess what we need to decide is what will be worse - 1. not having her there or 2. paying for her and regretting that decision. A long talk is definitely in order. We need to focus on the ones that are excited to come celebrate with us. At the end of the day, those are the ones deserving our our love. Thanks again!!! You words make me feel much better.

LOL - I think wedding websites are too new for the etiquette writers. It's still uncharted territory.

I agree with Cruisebride. We put all the prices on our website so that it would be really easy for our guests. We had alot of compliments on our site and I think our guests appreciated the effort we put forth for them. If you don't provide the pricing info, they'll probably end up calling you and I'm sure you have a million other things you need to do!

Thanks Murmel. I've read the entire thread twice over the last 6 months so sometime I forgot what is where. LOL

Okay ladies....I need your advice. I have vented a bit about this situation before when it first came to light but am now looking for advice on how to proceed. This situation is causing both myself and my FI a lot of stress and we are really not sure what we should do. A bit of background..... After 10+ years together, my FI and I got engaged in March 2015. We already knew we wanted a DW and immediately gave friends and family the heads up to start saving. When initially talking about dates, we decided to go for a longer engagement to make the planning process less stressful, but also to give my adult stepkids (stepson 25 and stepdaughter 27) an extra year to save. They both expressed excitement and said they wouldn't miss it. I have a good relationship with both of them and have been fortunate that they were happy to accept me into their dad's life. When we finally got firm prices and details of deposit deadlines, etc. last April, we made sure to tell them the details and to get their butts in saving mode (in a year neither had saved a penny). My stepdaughter told her father, "What you're not paying for me to go? I guess I'll be watching it on Skype." We were both shocked and upset by her comment. She still had a year to save and didn't seem interested in even putting forth an effort to do so. We tried to explain to her that this is a week's AI vacation, and not just her paying to come see us marry. My FI and I had already decided that we would do what we could to help the kids, but could not afford to pick up the whole tab. Plus, what you do for one, you should really do for the other. We had already planned to hand over any airline credits we might receive to them and even help them out if they ended up a little short come the final payment time. My stepson never batted an eye at the cost. Even though he is a bit irresponsible with money (as is typical of someone that age), he had indicated that he will be there and hasn't once suggested that he expects us to finance his trip. (If they had started saving when we first announced our engagement, it would have worked out to $20 a week. Anyone can afford $20 a week.) I understand that my stepdaughter is struggling financially as all people in their twenties do. She and her boyfriend have a 1.5 year old (our granddaughter). Under normal circumstances, I would probably be super sympathetic and would move heaven and earth to make it happen. But.....it's the sense of entitlement, lack of appreciation and absence of effort that concerns us. (I am the type that will help anyone that needs it, provided they are putting in a least the same amount of effort I am.) In the last year, we have probably spent well over $1500 dollars between stuff for the baby (shower gift and a crib when the baby was 6 months), lavish birthday gifts, cash on several occasions when finances were tight, a $500 set of winter tires that was supposed to be loan but that she never paid back and then made us feel guilty when we asked for the money a year later. In the last six months alone, she won $6,000 at the casino, her and her boyfriend received healthy tax returns, he received a vacation payout of $1500 dollars with another coming in early December. I've watched her spend money on other things like eating out at fancy restaurants, pedicures, a $500 video game system for her boyfriend for xmas (he already owned one but I guess since it was a year old, it wasn't good enough anymore). She even agreed to be in a friends wedding this summer which of course will probably cost her close to $1000 by the time all is said and done. All of this came AFTER we announced our DW. I understand that when you look at the whole family going (her, him and baby) it's expensive. But she hasn't even looked at other options like shortening the trip to a few days, or leaving boyfriend and/or child at home and travelling with a girlfriend instead. I swear, she spent about 10 minutes thinking about it, realized we weren't paying and that was it. Since April it's been the elephant in the room. We don't even talk about the wedding when she's over and I can't help but feel it has put a wedge in my relationship with her which was pretty good prior to this. We just don't know what to do at this point. I really want both my stepkids to be there. For me but especially for my FI. This is our wedding. But at the same time, I don't want us to end up buried in debt. I also feel like she is trying to manipulate us into paying for her without her making any real effort to help, and if we did pay for her to go, I'm not even sure she would appreciate the cost or gesture. (As an aside, she was "desperate" for the snow tires we loaned her the money to get, but when we brought up repaying the loan she made the comment that "she never even wanted them".) And there is no way that we can pay for all three of them to come. Would she even come if boyfriend and baby can't join her? FI and I have discussed them paying their own $250 deposit, we will then give them $500 each of the airline credit which would leave a balance owing of about $1000 not due until the end of the year. And if daughter wants, we would loan her the money with a slow pay back or tax return time. We don't even know if she will be open to this arrangement. Obviously, we need to sit down and have an open and honest discussion with her. I just want to make sure FI and I are on the same page before doing so. I am really interested to hear what all of you other brides think. I know a lot of you have experienced similar situations with friends, bridesmaids, parents, family, etc. We don't want to regret not having her there, but we also don't want to resent paying for her either. We just don't know what the right thing is and would love to hear your advice. (PS - I hope I don't sound like an evil step-mother. I really do love my step daughter and want my FI surrounded by his family on our special day.)

If you're from Canada you can try Sunwing or Transat. Good luck! Hopefully your dream venue ends up in the price range you were hoping for.

Any 2017 Azul Sensatori brides out there?

Where are you from Alicia? When I first secured my group rate (in Ontario, Canada), I was surprised it wasn't better than those posted on selloffvacations.com. It also didn't seem to measure up to the rates a friend of mine was getting for her DW at a different resort. However, the taxes were halved so a lot of the savings weren't seen in the base rate. It also included a one-time rate adjustment and other perks (future travel voucher, additional baggage, excursion credit, plane upgrades, etc.). A few weeks after securing our group rate I stumbled upon a huge (and short-lived!) price drop online and managed to lock in the savings for our group. The standard rate has once again gone up creating a huge gap in our favour! Sometime, the flight times effect the rate and if you are booking early, those might not yet be known. Also, double check the room categories and trip durations. It's easy to mistake a 5 day trip price for a 7 day. Perhaps the first time you looked, there was some sort of seat sale on that had short-term discounted prices. Just a few ideas..... Good luck! You're obviously like me and want to get your guests the best deal possible! Where and when are you getting married?

I know many of you brides-to-be and past brides have experienced this. It's nothing new and I am so glad to have had this forum to read and remind me that I am not alone. But I'd like to vent for a minute...... What happened to basic f#@*ing etiquette? Our RSVP/booking deadline was last Friday. A week prior I sent out a friendly reminder to let people know it was coming. (We had 2.5 months from sending invites to the RSVP deadline so I can understand how some might have set it aside to discuss closer to the deadline and forgotten about it. - I'm not a total bridezilla!). You know how many of our guests replied? Maybe a 1/4. And we even gave people the option of sending back the reply card, RSVPing on our website or even calling or texting us. Just let us know in any way that is convenient for you. Since I knew I would be chasing people (I've had the same experience with previous non-wedding events I've planned), we actually set our RSVP date two weeks before the actual room block release. So the day after the deadline, I emailed all those that hadn't responded. It was a friendly but firm email saying, "Hey, if you're receiving this email its because we really need your RSVP....please". If you can't commit, let us know when you think you can so we can keep you on our radar. If you think you may have given us a casual verbal a year ago, please let us know officially as a lot can change in a year." So maybe a few more responses trickled in and now we're sitting at the halfway mark. Where are the rest of you? Like seriously people....do you not understand we are trying to plan a wedding here?!?!?! In fact, one of the missing RSVPs (even after two emails!) is my cousin who got married a few months ago. Of course, I promptly responded to their RSVP. You'd think of all people they would understand! I even had a few family members say they won't be able to commit until next year. Our wedding is in early March and the resort is expecting our final headcount by early December. Not to mention the little surprises and DIY projects I have planned. So how's that gonna work??? LOL It's just a sad state of affairs if you ask me. The last two weddings we've been too, we haven't even received thank you cards! My mom has been to several baby showers without thank you cards lately too. We both vent to each other about the lack of manners these days! I told her she need not worry, any guests attending my wedding would without a doubt receive a thank you card, come hell or high water! Now I'm in no way claiming to be an expert in etiquette but who doesn't know you are supposed to RSVP or send a thank you card? Really? I mean I can forgive how the invitation is worded or the order of the insertions. I get how some people may not know that (although this is the internet age!). With all the technology we have now, I realize that many of the old methods are slowly becoming outdated. I understand that. And though it may not be the "preferred or correct" way, at this point I'd be over the moon to receive an RSVP text or a sincere thank you email. An acknowledgement of any type is better than nothing at all! Whew....that feels better! Who else it's going bonkers dealing with the lack of basic etiquette these days?

I had an RSVP card printed (and figured I could use the TA bookings as well) but then realized that I would need meal selections from guests attending so I set up an RSVP section on my website at weddingwire.com. Guests that can't come typically return the RSVP card. Those that are coming typically use the website or if my TA notifies me, I can then remind them to go online to pick their meals as well. It's working very well so far.

I used weddingwire.com as well and love it! It was super easy to use and the ability to create guest lists and track your RSVPs, meal selections and even create a seating plan is awesome. No complaints so far. It will surely be a life saver! The photographer was my hardest decision so far. It's SO expensive but I figure at the end of the day, the photos are what you will have to look at decades later after some of the memories have faded. It took a little convincing as my FI had sticker shock but at the end of the day, he just wants me to be happy. And after I showed him examples of the photographer's work, he was blown away that they were "art" and not just the cheesy posed photos of yester year. It is definitely one of the harder (and more expensive!) decisions to make. Good luck!

Hi Amy. We've been to Mexico multiple times and have never had a problem with, ah, "gastro upset". We are careful (even use bottled water for teethbrushing). It's possible that it was even the flu caught on the plane ride home or just after arriving home. Hope you're all feeling better soon. At least it didn't happen on your big day! Don't let it deter you from visiting again. ????

Thanks for the advice WPG Bride!!! It is rather nerve racking isn't it?

Hello fellow 2017 DW brides!!! I'm getting married on March 7, 2017 on the Sky Deck at the Azul Sensatori in Riviera Maya, Mexico. Our ceremony, reception and welcome dinner venues are booked, we have selected a photographer and placed our deposit, and we have chosen our menu choices for each event. I also bought my dress. Invites have been sent and our deposit deadline is in less than two weeks. YIKES!!! I am eager to get a rough headcount so I can begin DIYing. Of course, none of the above has been without some drama. Like many other brides, I am attempting to keep cool under pressure - celebrate the victories and quickly get over the disappointments. So glad to have found this website. It's been a wealth of information/ideas and has been a wonderful support in times of stress/disappointment. I look forward to sharing with all of you as we ride this DW rollercoaster together!

Hi there Hola. Sorry to hear that you are not off to a fantastic start. Perhaps this means that it will be smooth sailing during the rest of the planning process! I used weddingwire.com to build my wedding website. It's free, super easy to use and has some great built-in features like a guestlist with all sorts of tracking features, an online RSVP option where guests can RSVP to all events in one place as well as choose their meals, a seating planner linked to the RSVP responses and even a reception music requests section. Although my RSVPs have just started coming in, the website has been a saviour! I would highly recommend it!!! I am a super researcher and planner so I wanted to ensure that I could provide my guests with a really great website that would answer all of their questions. My TA actually discouraged me from "wasting time with a website" as she said many of her previous brides reported that not many of their guests had visited them. Boy was she wrong! We've had almost 200 visits and lots of compliments. I think the more information you can provide to your guests, the easier it will be for them to make their decision. Plus, the website will allow me to email the group with future updates as the wedding gets closer. (If you want to have a look our website, feel free to PM me and I'll send you the address.) Good luck! Hope things are much easier moving forward!

Good luck to you KJCoins. Luckily, most of our guests are beyond child-bearing years or have no plans to expand their families. When is your wedding?

I'm so glad to hear that there are others dealing with this stress and disappointment! It's so nice to have this forum to go to for ideas, guidance and especially moral support. Our invitations are due to go out at the end of the month but we started "warning" friends and family to start saving a year ago (which I thought was very considerate). When initially talking about dates, we even decided to go for a longer engagement to make the planning process less compressed and stressful, but also to give my adult stepkids (stepson 25 and stepdaughter 27) an extra year to save. So when we finally got firm prices and details of deposit deadlines, etc. last month, we made sure to tell them to get their butts in saving mode (in a year neither has saved a penny!). My stepdaughter said "What your not paying for me to go? I guess I'll be watching it on Skype." Seriously? You're not even gonna try? Why should we pay for her to go on a week's vacation? We already have to pay for our own trips as well as the other wedding expenses. Now I am not opposed to "helping" but I am not picking up the whole tab. The FI and I had already discussed passing on any airline credits to them and even helping them out if they ended up a little short come the final payment time. But to not even make an effort to save anything after all her father (my FI) and I have done for her over the years (financially and otherwise)! It was a slap in the face. I feel like asking her how she would feel if her father couldn't be bothered to come to her wedding! Of course, I'm keeping my mouth closed so as not to cause drama but I sure am seething inside. To complicate things, we were planning to have the kids as our wedding party. Since my stepkids and I have a relatively good relationship, I thought this was a nice way to show our family coming together. I'm glad we never got around to asking them. Judging from some of the stories I've read, I think we might just go without a wedding party and save the drama. We're very "untraditional" anyway so it's not a big deal to me. Whew.....okay rant over. Thanks Ladies!!!