JennyZ

@@calgarybride2015 - You are the bestest Hi Ladies! Thanks for thinking of me!!! The last week was a bit hectic, with the deposits being due and getting everyone rounded up. Plus I've been working out, to make sure everything is good for my dress measurements being taken in February/March!!! 20lbs to go! So!!! Here's a update! His Mother ended up booking (alone) through our group on the last day - guess her air miles weren't as good as our package And one of his Uncle's booked (also alone). That's it!!! Out of the 29 people he invited, he has just 2 people My FI had gone to Quebec to speak with his family/tell them it was important to him to attend. He came back to Ontario and called me excited, saying how his Father, the GF, an Uncle (he has 4) and his Grandparents would be booking the next day (the deadline date). The next day, he received a call and they advised him that they would "just prefer to wait".... Of course I was disappointed and confused. Why would they want to pay $500 extra EACH after the deadline, instead of just putting in their $250 deposits and being included with the group???... If money isn't an issue, then the only reason I am left with, is they dont approve (11 year age difference is my thought) and simply dont want to come. I had initially asked my FI, if he would mind if I contacted his Father's gf to have a "woman-to-woman" chat, but he wanted to speak with them himself first.... Well! Since that didn't work! I decided to reach out to her afterwards I wrote to her, letting her know that our deposit deadline has been extended until December 29 and that we would really love to have them there/hate to see them pay $500 each to book later on, should they change their minds.... I added in that I knew it was very important for my FI to have his family there and I just didnt know why his own Father AND Brother (only sibling) would not want to attend his wedding... She wrote me back yesterday, saying the Father and herself "really wants to come" but they are "waiting until the last moment, just in case of the Grandfather and Grandmother's health". I thanked her very much for the communication and explained how I had not known the Father would not attend his sons wedding, without his parents (I still dont quite understand why it would matter either way? lol) I let her know, that I hope they will at least know before August 2015, as we have to pay the resort the deposits on all of our guests dinners (our package is dependent of # of guests), buy gifts, etc. To rub a bit more salt in the wound... I know his entire family have all received their Christmas cards this week, which I handmade and learned/wrote all in French, especially for them (they are all french and me, not so much!!! lol!) Meanwhile, none of them are even interested in attending our wedding, or asking if we would be having a reception closer to them. They simply just did not reply/acknowledge any of our announcements, save the dates, wedding website and reminder emails. Guess the final answer is pretty obvious now, eh? I will add, all of his family members have well paying jobs, so money is definitely not the issue here. It has left me feeling pretty unwelcome, but all-in-all, my family & friends are being amazing, so I am focusing my energy on bringing him around those who want to be there for us, so he can feel apart of the excitement on our end. Poor guy! I am leaving in a few hours, to go visit him wayyyy up in Petawawa (he's in the military there) and see him for the first time in several weeks!!! I hope he notices the 5lbs I've lost and I'm bringing him a house warming gift - a framed collage of some of our engagement pictures I just got back as a sneak peek (still waiting for the rest of the pics, so I can make our wedding invitations!!! And YES! I will be sending those invitations to ALLLL of his family, who have not answered us! LOL! ) Wishing you all an awesome weekend and thanking you SO much, for being an ear and shoulder for me, during this time!!! xo P.S. I just added the engagement photos to an album on my profile here, if you want to see the sneak peek!

Update.... So there is a lot of upset going on (obviously) and I have a FI who is taking a lot of grief from his family and now dishing it out to me. My FI now thinks I have rushed everything too much and we should have sent out a "survey" to ask his family members which date(s) would work best for all of them...... Needless to say, I am kind of appalled/feeling unappreciated for all the time I have spent planning everything. The last time I checked, wedding invitations didnt come with a "fill in the blank" for the date, right?

My understanding is they would like the date changed, so a few people who do not like our December date, can make it. I spent a few hours having to explain how with destination weddings, ANY DATE, is not going to work for everyone! I have a bunch of family members unable to attend, either for money or date issues... However, I would have NEVER asked all of the already confirmed guests, to lose their deposits AND have to pay more for a trip in peak season (i.e in January or February instead, to suit 2 - 4 other people!) NOOOO WAYYYY! Sadly, what it comes down to, is my FI has not been communicating with his family during our 4 months of planning (his family are long distance away) and now 6 days before the deposit is due, he is reaching out to them and finding all this out (Shame on them for not bringing up any concerns when the wedding plans were announced 2-3 months ago!) I have been in contact with all of our friends and my family, making sure everyone is on board, hence why only my side has been booking. A few members of his family stated that their kids (under highschool age) would be in school in December, so they couldnt make it - I specifically planned the wedding Saturday to Saturday, so guest would only lose 5 days and be able to travel on the weekend/time off. Sooooo.... The kids dont have school in January or February??? lol! Those who want to be there, WILL MAKE IT WORK. I've been asked to "view it from an objective angle" but I'm finding this very inconsiderate of guests to be dictating OUR wedding (especially when my family is paying everything for all of them and they are not offering in anything but headaches so far) Wow. What a night and a morning so far!

Well ladies! I was hoping to report back with better news after he spoke with them again today.... 7 days before deposit is due, over $5000 in non-refundable deposits from guests already made (and my one week reminder email went out today to all other guests).... I received a call from my FI tonight and he is asking for us to CHANGE THE DATE FOR THEM?!?! *insert crying face here*

@@peachykeen159 - Thanks for your understanding. I am trying to be the bigger person and work towards a happy ending for all, especially considering future situations might be jaded after their non-attendance... We spend hundreds of dollars every time we travel to visit them, so I'm just surprised the effort wouldnt be returned this ONE time we have asked them. My FI called his Mother and made the offer to help financially (even though we are both in lower income brackets than they are. lol) and she has now offered to "use some aeroplan miles and perhaps attend for a day or two".... I'm pulling out my hair, as Im sure she'll find out soon enough, it's going to cost just as much to travel for a couple days VS. a whole week on a group package... Let alone her cab to-from the airport, etc. Just not sure why its been left so last minute. It's definitely not a fear of Mexico - The Father is just plain out not respecting it's a HUGE day for his son and again, my FI has promised to have another talk with him, to express his/our feelings towards him not coming. The Father had initially commented that he would just stay at a different resort (for whatever reason???) until he found out, there's a fee for a day pass. I realize at the end of the day, its our wedding and who wants to be there, will be... However, its awfully strange when its only going to be my side, and NO ONE from his? My mind is just boggled with this. Definitely not the bump I was expecting in our plans

Needs some words of advice/encouragement please... Received a call today, from my FI with some "bad news". It's one week before the deposit is due and both his Mother and Father (they are separated for well over 10+ years) have just informed him they both will not be attending?! Just so you know the details. The wedding is NEXT December 2015. Cost is $1300 per person for 1 week and guests have an interest-free payment plan until July 2015 (next year)... The Mother called and explained that she cannot afford to come (she is 50 years old and is an administrative assistant for a large company and also has a serious live-in boyfriend who shares all the bills with her.....) I have asked him to call her back and let her know, the Mother of the Groom is a very important role, and if need be, I/we would totally be willing to help her with payments, to ensure she can attend her sons wedding... The Father called and said he wont be attending, because we're just going to have a (secret) civil service at city hall anyway, so the Wedding in Mexico doesn't matter...??? I have been told there have been talks of "we should have just had the wedding in Ontario" for them, because my family is in Ontario and his family lives in Quebec. We specifically chose Mexico, because we couldn't afford the $15,000 - $20,000 cost of being married in Canada, and then ask all the family to travel anyway (travel/gas, hotel stays, food, wedding gifts, etc) So we honestly thought this was the best option for all. I knew I would lose a lot of guests by doing a destination wedding... But never did I think BOTH of his parents wouldn't come?!!! WOAH. I even had to ask him, if this was their way of telling me I wasn't welcome into the family??? Our wedding plans were announced months ago, so I believe these issues should have been brought up in the beginning and not after all the deposits (venue, dress, vendors, travel) have already been made... Here my parents are shelling out $10,000 for our wedding - and his side have not offered a cent - but no matter, at least attend, right??? I am beyond heartbroken for him, as my family is already confirmed, my friends are booking, and not one member of his side has responded. Harsh eh? I just feel this is a bad first step to the rest of our lives and cannot help to think of the hard feelings there will be in future (i.e. when we have children, why would I feel the need to travel so far for them to see their grandchildren, when they didnt even care enough to even join us on our most important day?) I even told him, I am now scared of him getting cold feet, due to the lack of support his family is now showing. I have asked him to really have a heart to heart with both parents ASAP and ask them to reconsider/rethink the situation, but I honestly never thought this would be the response from such key family members and not sure how I should be feeling??? Would love to hear your thoughts ladies. xo (Just posted this in the "chit chat corner" forum as I second thought myself that it may not apply under wedding etiquette. Sorry for the double post guys)

Needs some words of advice/encouragement please... Received a call today, from my FI with some "bad news". It's one week before the deposit is due and both his Mother and Father (they are separated for well over 10+ years) have just informed him they both will not be attending?! Just so you know the details. The wedding is NEXT December 2015. Cost is $1300 per person for 1 week and guests have an interest-free payment plan until July 2015 (next year)... The Mother called and explained that she cannot afford to come (she is 50 years old and is an administrative assistant for a large company and also has a serious live-in boyfriend who shares all the bills with her.....) I have asked him to call her back and let her know, the Mother of the Groom is a very important role, and if need be, I/we would totally be willing to help her with payments, to ensure she can attend her sons wedding... The Father called and said he wont be attending, because we're just going to have a (secret) civil service at city hall anyway, so the Wedding in Mexico doesn't matter...??? I have been told there have been talks of "we should have just had the wedding in Ontario" for them, because my family is in Ontario and his family lives in Quebec. We specifically chose Mexico, because we couldn't afford the $15,000 - $20,000 cost of being married in Canada, and then ask all the family to travel anyway (travel/gas, hotel stays, food, wedding gifts, etc) So we honestly thought this was the best option for all. I knew I would lose a lot of guests by doing a destination wedding... But never did I think BOTH of his parents wouldn't come?!!! WOAH. I even had to ask him, if this was their way of telling me I wasn't welcome into the family??? Our wedding plans were announced months ago, so I believe these issues should have been brought up in the beginning and not after all the deposits (venue, dress, vendors, travel) have already been made... Here my parents are shelling out $10,000 for our wedding - and his side have not offered a cent - but no matter, at least attend, right??? I am beyond heartbroken for him, as my family is already confirmed, my friends are booking, and not one member of his side has responded. Harsh eh? I just feel this is a bad first step to the rest of our lives and cannot help to think of the hard feelings there will be in future (i.e. when we have children, why would I feel the need to travel so far for them to see their grandchildren, when they didnt even care enough to even join us on our most important day?) I even told him, I am now scared of him getting cold feet, due to the lack of support his family is showing. I have asked him to really have a heart to heart with both parents ASAP and ask them to reconsider/rethink the situation, but I honestly never thought this would be the response from such key family members and not sure how I should be feeling??? Would love to hear your thoughts ladies. xo

Wooohoooo! Just came on here to make sure everything went well! SOOOO happy to hear it was a success!!! The big countdown is on girl! So excited for you!!!!

Dont risk it girl! You made the right choice!!! It's easier to take the dress back in, if need be. You'll feel so much more comfortable, knowing your dress if going to zip up nicely on your wedding day and not have to reply on extra hooks to hold you in! Imagine if you sat down and they snapped!!! Always go for comfort! Your dress will look better when it fits properly and your not squeezing into it!

Oh! I am TOTALLY getting in on this post! LOL! I am 11 years and 4 days older than my FI! Now hold off those cougar thoughts ladies! It bothered me badly, for several months of our relationship, until he quickly showed me, he was the most mature man I have ever been with! Might have something to do with him being in the Military, already bought his own house, etc. But we totally love it, when I get asked for ID and he doesn't I like to think, he's very mature and I'm a little immature, so we meet perfectly in the middle

I just had to resend my message for the third time yesterday. Been sending them every week now, so something must be up? I totally understand your frustration. I'm trying to get vendors into place and cant do so, without pricing. I'm pretty sure the cost to do a private reception is $ 990USD so hopefully that gives you an idea until you hear back!

@@calgarybride2015 I should take a picture of my BUCKET of products, to show you how many I have been through! LOL! It's such a pain in the a$$ to find nice ones, eh?!! I have also used the CHI, but found it left my hair very greasy and weighed down - yuck! and I have spent wayyyy too much on overpriced products, only to HATE them! Sucks!!!! Now don't laugh, but my absolute FAVOURITE and probably the last products you would think to try! Because they're the least expensive out of everything I have bought! (Go figure! haha!) TRESemme Thermal creations Heat Tamer Spray - So light and leaves zero residue on the hair! TRESemme Keratin Smooth Flat Iron Smooth Spray - Leaves an incredible shine, plus the added benefits of keratin! And my last and most favourite!.... It's not even a heat protectant spray, but its actually an "all in one" BIOSILK Silk Therapy If I could bathe in this, I would! It's actually amazing and can be used on the skin too. I rub it into my knees and elbows! BioSilk silk therapy is a weightless, leave-in silk replenishing and reconstructing treatment to repair, smooth and protect all hair types. I use this all over (small amount - quarter sized for my long hair) on my wet hair and brush through. After drying and straightening, I use a tiny bit more, just on my ends for added smoothing I would use the above serum, which is going to help repair your hair daily and maybe just a little spray of the tresemme heat tamer spray for added protection, if you already have really damaged hair

@@LisaAnthonyPoppy Thank you so much for the wonderful response! So awesome to have such nice ladies out here for us to reach out to! Your reply made me smile (and laugh about your short end of the stick! lol!) and really warmed my heart Your invitations sound SO NICE!!!! I hope everyone who receives them realizes how much love (and time) you poured into them!!! Here's my tricky part... We didn't actually send out "Save the Dates" We actually sent out an explanation letter, advising our friends and family, what our plans were and giving them links to view the resort, the package information, etc. We then made a Wedding Website and sent out the links for everyone to view our plans and to RSVP from there. The deposit date is now only 24 days away, so yesterday I sent out a "reminder" email to all guests and asked for them to RSVP on our site. We have had about 10 people straight up say, they 100% CANNOT attend, due to their work, school, or financial reasons - Do I still send them invites??? Seems a little odd, sending them an invite AFTER they have expressed they will not attend, no? Almost like a guilt trip? lol!

From someone who has worn hair extensions since 1993!!!! Yes, you read that right! OVER 20 years! I would LOVE to share my knowledge after learning the hard way about every type of hair and application there is! I like to be positive, so let me start with the best Ladies, if you want hair extensions, do yourself and your hair a favor. If it's only for the ONE day - do a clip in. Please make sure it is 100% human hair so it can be curled/styled, etc. If you want the hair to stay in - NANO-LINKS!!!! Google it! Nanolink hair extensions are designed to be more natural and less detectable than traditional bead methods. The beads are 90% smaller than traditional beads which allows these extensions to be put in the finest hair. These extensions can also be used in the crown area of the head making them and ideal choice for people with short hard to blend layers. I'm sure everyone here has a computer... Do yourself a fast favour and your hair a long term favor (this is where I have learned the hard way!) Google "hair damage caused by Fusion extensions" "Damage caused by tape in extensions" etc. All in all, I am saying, the bead method is the most gentle for your natural hair, as it is only clamped on and not chemically sealed to your delicate hairs! Another bonus is, once they grow out, your technician can open the beads, move the hair back up, and use the hair again! Saving you MUCHO $$$$$ (the hair is the most expensive part of extensions). Micro beads are #2 in my books, but are too big, compared to the above mentioned "Nano Links" and have a tendency to slide out easier - but still better than glued in Fusion extensions, RIPPING out your hair!!! Sewn in extensions... Let's be honest. If you are wanting/needing extensions to add length and volume, chances are, you do not already have that much of your own hair, right??? So after the lady, braids your natural hair in order to sew in the extensions... How much natural hair do you have left, to hide the "seam" of where your hair meets the extensions and most importantly, hide the BULK of the braid underneath (please mind you, this is coming from a blonde girl with fine hair. So for those with enough locks, rock on!) BUT HOLD ON!!! Here comes the MOST important part though! HAIR QUALITY! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!!! Ensure you purchase Cuticle INTACT hair!!!!! The term "cuticle free" is just a sales term! Inexpensive extensions are made from hair collected facing in all directions, from many donors, even from hairbrushes...so that the cuticle has to be removed in damaging acid baths, then covered in silicone so that the hair will not tangle...this is why it is also called "Tangle Free". But after the first few washings, the remaining cuticles will rise as the silicone is washed off and hopeless dry tangling sets in because the cuticles act like little fish hooks hooking with the cuticles facing the opposite direction. So beware of any extensions that not labeled "remy cuticle intact"! Here's a link, that explains each "grade" of good Remy hair: http://hollywoodglamour.co.nz/hair-extensions-quality I went from having BEAUTIFUL long (but fine) hair and started with extensions to add extra volume. After years of the different processes above, I now only have shoulder length damaged hair, caused by fusion and tape ripping out my hair every time you require a new set (approx. 3 months). Looks great at first! But once removal happens, not so much! I have now been wearing Nano-links for a few years and my hair is quickly growing it's length back! I only need to purchase my hair once a year and my technician re-uses it upon every maintenance appointment! WIN-WIN!!!! Here's my funny but oh-so-true P.S.: BE PREPARED FOR HUMIDITY!!!! I went to Mexico with my FI last year and had my gorgeous extensions installed before the trip! YAY! Only problem is, your natural hair WILL react differently to the humidity, than the extensions! So basically, smooth extensions and frizzy natural hair! LOL! Booooo! Be sure to purchase proper products for humidity control and bring a good straightening iron! Always use a heat protector and a nice quality oil serum for your extensions, EVERY DAY! (the hair is cut/dead therefore does not produce it's own oil protection anymore) These are just my honest opinions after years of trials. I do not mean to offend anyone who enjoys other methods whatsoever! Just hoping to save anyone from the mistakes I have made in the past

EKKK! This thread scares me a bit, into thinking I'm being rude!?? I have decided on ordering rather elaborate "Message in a Bottle" invitations (gorgeous labelled glass bottles, with sand, seas shells & script inside, comes in a box wrapped with fishnet) which run about $17.50 EACH (plus shipping to me, then the shipping to each of my guests!) For cost reasons, I thought it would be okay, only to send them to people who were attending, as a keepsake, especially when they're spending $1300+ to attend our wedding - plus they will receive OOT bags upon arriving and favors at the reception... Would it be faux pas to do the above (invites only to guests) and then afterwards, send out Thank You cards with a nice photo of the wedding, to ALL that were invited instead??? It's my first go around here, so any feedback would be helpful!

@@jsparrow10 - Unfortunately, this is where you have to get a bit firm. I have been able to gather all the information simply by being very forward that, if they want my money, they NEED to provide their costs! If I may suggest? Make each of your questions numbered in your emails. Example: 1. Please provide reception locations and costs 2. Send a la carte menu for extra things that can be ordered etc. etc. Leave a space in-between for her to enter her answers. This is what I found most helpful for getting replies. Also, RESEND your previous emails and change the subject line to **SECOND REQUEST** (or however many tries you have made). I also made her very aware, that I am needing to finalize my budget, so her replies are urgent in doing so. I just had to do the same (again) this morning, trying to find out what is included equipment wise, with the resort DJ for the reception. I have a guest who is a professional DJ, so we're trying to find out, if the speakers, lights, etc. are there and then I can use my own guy - This was after being quoted $876 to rent just the equipment from their outside supplier! lol! I sent her the message on Monday, and resent it again this morning. Every email I just add how many times I have requested the same information and make it in caps and *****'s! She can only ignore you for so long Give er a go!!!!

@@jsparrow10 - I decided against the beach (without knowing prices) due to the sand fleas at night. Unfortunately I do not know how much the meeting room or disco is, as I chose to rent out the entire restaurant to do the private dinner and reception for $990 USD. Have you emailed Connie to ask her the rates??? @jsparrow10 - Outside vendor fee for photographer is $350 plus the day pass of $60 per person. White coverings for the chairs are included in the packages. To rent the Tiffany chairs, is $10/chair.

@@Ydolem - I'm totally trying to avoid that situation as the price will be $1600+/person, instead of the $1300 I got for them through my group rate. I even booked my wedding at the end of November (I had wanted to go in January or February) as the prices were $500 more in "peak season". Now they're complaining it might be too close to Xmas...? haha Cant win either way it seems After making some new friends on here and reading their websites (borrowed some of their ideas/wording - she'll recognize the below - THANKS!!!) I decided to put a little "disclaimer" on my wedding website to hopefully steer people away from being bullheaded It was hard to say it politely (I really wanted to tell them just to book or not to come! lol) but this is what I have under my RSVP info: Same Resort But Booking Separately We are hoping that our guests will take advantage of the amazing group rates we have received and promise you will not be able to find cheaper prices. But if you decide to book on your own, outside our wedding group package, please ensure you RSVP on our site so we can include you in our numbers. Be sure to let us know you will still be at the same resort in the comments section so we can include you in any resort booking numbers. Other Resorts Should you chose to book at another resort - You will be allowed on our resort for the day of the wedding but there is an external guest fee of $85 US dollars per person. You will also have to supply your own transportation to and from the resorts. Please still be sure to RSVP so we can include you in our numbers and let us know which resort you will be staying at in the comments section. Hopefully this will help any newer Brides with this frustrating situation! At this point, my guests can read my info and if they think they're smarter and end up paying more... Then that's their own faults!

@@ashleynbest - Emails heading your way Will be 4 total