I am so lucky that I have a great mother in law to be, and she helps me with EVERY detail of my wedding. I am not close to my step mom however, but to make her feel included, I normally show her things AFTER the fact of making decisions. I sent her my website when it was done, I have offered to have her hair and make up done with the team we hired, I hired a DJ and then asked her to give me ideas for songs for them to play, etc. It is an easy answer to say, oh we have already made the decision and it cannot be changed now. Also, tell your FI he does need to stick up for the both of you! Mothers and mother in laws are important, but their opinion is not more important than the bride and groom! Good luck