KAT2015

I'm just wondering if anyone has had floating lanterns at a pool reception at a resort? I was thinking about doing this as we are doing the reception pool side. We're having minimal decor, but I thought it would add some nice ambiance to it all. I haven't asked my WC about it, but I can't imagine it would be an issue?

Coral seems to be a hot colour! We're doing coral, teal and mint with gold accent (I believe!). The more I look online, the more I simplify my decor. I'm thinking 2-3 pillar candles in the middle, surrounded by some sort of wood wreath (or dark brown twine) with fake flowers in our colours. Then maybe little shells on the table and candle favours for each guest (lit so they are part of the decor). I'm thinking now I won't do any chair sashes at all. Your wedding plans sound dreamy!!! I would have loved the fountain but didn't want to tie ourselves into the $1500 charge for the extra decor - without the plank I'm not sure how it would go and I wasn't risking it. Castaways would have been amazing, but the $3000 isn't in our budget for it!

LOVE that video. So true. I've already had to tell my FI to tell his mother we weren't going to invite everyone plus their kids - we agreed to invite her very close friend and husband, and then she proceed to list their kids, and grandkids! She was just trying to be helpful, and didn't make a stink when we said no, but awkward! I haven't had to have the awkward conversation with people who I didn't invite (there is only one I am thinking of and it was on purpose, not because of numbers). I kind of hope that just goes away! My favourite part was the end - everyone will be disappointed with something. I'm already in this - sister disappointed she isn't a bridesmaid, brother mad because he thinks he should do the photography (but only if I pay the full $2100 for his private room and trip down there - he's not a professional either and will probably get bored/lazy/drunk the day of), my mother being disappointed that her kids can't get along.... bah! I did try to pitch the 'elopement' to the FI so we can be done with it all. At the end of the day, we know it would disappoint a lot of people. So I've adopted the I DGAF policy - you can't come? I DGAF... you're mad at me and threatening not to come? I DGAF.... you don't like our travel arrangements? I DGAF.... Its helping

Yes be careful! Even without our final numbers, we have already had 7 people RSVP from England (my FI's cousin, two second cousins, a wife, a fiance and two kids) that we were not expecting! When I sat down with our budget after the guest list went out I budgeted for EVERYONE. So 66 people - 25 are free so an additional 41 at $66 per person (that includes ceremony, toast, cocktail hour, dinner).... $2706!!! I know I have had one say no, plus the kids of my friends are likely not coming. I also anticipate a few other no's. But I feel better knowing I budgeted for everyone just in case. This also forces me to be frugal on our other stuff - decor and favours. Only 8.5 more months of number crunching to go!

I *THINK* that the white square may show up. I know when I have done them before I did them in Photoshop on a translucent background. Even then, there was a bit of a border just from the transfer paper itself. I would recommend doing it in Photoshop on a translucent background, and when you print it, cut around the design to minimize any additional transfer from the paper!

I learned as well this past time in Mexico. With the skin rash, I found a cream I have to put on every 2 hours, along with broad spectrum UVA/UVB sunscreen. I timed it so I went swimming every 2 hours and then reapplied. I still got quite tan with all the sunscreen and never got a rash. I've got a ways to go before my wedding but I'll save 2-3 weeks for some base tan and then I'll wind up with strapless tops. I swear, no matter how dark I am when I go down, I always get darker so tanlines will always be a worry!

@@Cwright Looks like you'll be getting married the day after I arrive at the resort Our travel dates (for guests) are May 20-27 with us staying until the 30th. What dates are you there for? Congratulations!!! We can definitely discuss sharing decorations - what are your colours/plans?

@Lia The key to the centrepieces is making sure they pack well!!! I might see if the resort has driftwood but I am concerned with how much they may charge for that. I think we will only have 3 tables, 4 max (10 people to a table), so that keeps our cost down. I'm not too worried about bringing it with me. I hope to just do a cheap duffel/suitcase. We only have to pay an additional $25 for an extra suitcase on the plane, and if I can leave the old suitcase behind it will work well. Tip on the OOT bags - as I have been looking. If you use discountmugs.com, you can order all their product without a logo. They have beach bags (which I will do one per family/couple and then a few individuals), acrylic cups and so on. If we go this route, we will make tags for the bags (instead of a logo) and you can order waterproof stickers from etsy with a custom logo for your cups. It depends on how many people you have coming - I estimated for 30 people I think and I got everyone in under $10 per person. As we move along this will evolve. I may add/subtract things. The OOT bags will be the last thing I do just because I will want my final numbers first, which I won't have until about February!

Congrats on finding an end to your issue!! As hard as it can be, it must be a relief to have a final answer. I think you did the right thing. As for the issue with your make-up - perhaps with the money you will save on the dress you can put it towards make-up at the resort spa? Being as you have budgeted for it already. I truly hope that you can move forward and enjoy the rest of this time with your BMs! And I do hope you and your friend wind up in contact soon and in a place that is right for both of you now.

So I was really hoping to do a 'finale' to our formal reception on the beach at our resort with sky lanterns. Essentially, everyone would get to have one to release and could 'make a wish'. It would be beautiful in the dark and a nice way to end the evening. But - our resort won't allow sky lanterns. They offered sparklers as an alternative, but its a bit lame in comparison. Does anyone have any ideas?

I've just been reading through ALL the posts on this one. I'm glad I'm not alone! I went into the idea of a DW thinking that I could do the whole thing for under 10k. And actually, I would bet that I could. But then comes the guest list - we've had some people from England RSVP already and we weren't sure anyone was coming from there. And then the dress - I was sure I could do mine for $500 - $600 - and I could have, but that perfect dress I tried on was $850... It adds up, but here is how I am planning to save costs while still adding some decor to the ceremony/reception... 1) Our set up is white at beach ceremony - instead of paying for the resort to do chair sashes we can get them for .65 each. If we do them, we'll have them only on the back row of chairs and aisle. Also, we can bring tissue poms with us and have them tied onto our aisle sashes for no extra charge (as per my WC). Throw two more up on the bamboo gazebo and there is some colour. However - the resort doesn't charge for programs, so if I make a few programs and attach small poms with ribbons on it, I can likely have them hung over the chairs for colour at no charge. Just depends on what is more cost efficient on our end. 2) For the reception its all white too. No chair sashes - the resort doesn't charge us for place cards. So I will make the name cards, attach them onto ribbons in our wedding colours and have them hung over the back of the chair (with a charm/weight on the other end) or tied on. 3) For the centrepieces, I am hoping to do a piece of driftwood in the centre, with a couple plain pillar candles wrapped in some rope. Hopefully the candles will be in one of our colours. I may skip the pillar candles, and do small candle favours, because the resort will not charge for that either (so all they have to do is throw a piece of driftwood on there). Again, it comes down to what our cost would be to make/bring it vs the set up fee for something simpler. I'll probably bring some fake flower petals down to add some colour to the table instead of a runner/table cloth. I would suggest you find out from your resorts if they charge set up for favours/programs/place cards and use that to your advantage. We're saving on photography by bringing our own - it'll be about $2000 (just their travel costs) at the end of the day, but that includes a full day of coverage (12 hours) with our photographer and her assistant, plus a TTD. She would do a free engagement session, but we aren't in her city, and will also cover another event for us (so rehearsal or stagette) if it works with the timing. So we are still saving in comparison. In our budget, we are trying to keep aside enough money to pay for my mother's trip as well. We are trying to look at the big costs and get the most bang for our buck - photography you are always going to spend a lot if you don't just go with the standard 36 photos your resort gives you. We'll find our best choices, and save money on the smaller things!

Actually most of my family is from that area too - Owen Sound, Kitchener, Cornwall and London. I'm the odd one out (born in Halifax). FIs parents are in Grimsby. I lived in London all through highschool so some of my oldest friends are still back there, and that is where my team for work is based too - its one of my co-workers who had the photographer suggestion.

I don't think I'll buy too much. I've been on 4 all inclusives in the last 5 years so I have a lot of what I need. And since I've gained a little weight over the last 5 years, I'm sure that with my pre-wedding butt kicking 9 month fitness high I'll fit into some of it again. I have dresses/skirts for dinners - including a beautiful dress I just got for a friend's wedding. I have bathing suits (4 but some are interchangeable). I will likely buy another two bathing suit tops (bandeaus) and one bottom before we go. You all just reminded me of after summer sales so I'll be checking out the VS site. But aside from that, I think I have more than enough. I live in my bikini and cover-ups down there anyhow! But - if you want cover-ups look at a diy cover up wrap - like the VS ones. I made 2 when I went to mexico and was so happy with them!! All I needed was jersey fabric, scissors and a needle and thread - its only a tiny bit of hand sewing. Super cute and easy.

I don't think we are doing bachelor/bachelorette parties here - my FI is having his father and brother as GM and they are in Ontario and Texas. One of my good girlfriends (and hopefully one of my BM) is also in Ontario. FI also has family (cousins) coming from England. I think what we may do is plan an excursion or event when we are down in the DR. Or a boys vs girls scavenger hunt or tournament of some sort. That way everyone can be involved and both sides get to know each other. We put up a poll with our RSVP on the website to ask if people were interested and how much they would be willing to spend.

I actually booked someone out of London, Ontario. She did a wedding of a friend of mine and the pics were wonderful. She originates from Australia too, so she has a good handle on beach shots and lighting. Its cheaper to fly her out of Ontario for us anyhow. We happen to be going to a wedding in London in a couple weeks so we are going to meet with her then!

We aren't too bad with hidden costs yet. Just things I didn't think about as part of a wedding (such as marriage before, rings, dog boarding etc.). Obvious costs, but I was thinking day of only. The resort we are getting married at does have some hidden costs, but all you have to do is ask the right questions. For instance - for the ceremony, every guest over 25 people is $14 (so the chair set up, the champagne toast and cake). For the cocktail hour it is $12 per person over 25 and the dinner is $40 pp over 25. So every (adult) over 25 is going to be $66. I budgeted for the full guest list 'just in case'. Our resort will charge us for decor we bring, but just make sure you keep your WC in the loop as to what you want to bring down and they can give you estimates. For instance, the resort will charge 25% of their fee to set up our items. However, I am doing chair sashes, just on the back and aisle chairs. They charge $1 per sash. BUT I am also wanting some tissue poms tied onto the aisle sashes, and she said they would include that in the $1. Same for centrepieces - show them photos of what you want to bring and they'll quote you the price. That way, when you get there you have the amounts documented so you don't wind up getting a different number there. I am keeping it simple - first choice is some nice driftwood for the centre, and some pillar candles. Maybe some jewels or flower petals on the table. I assume EVERYTHING will cost me more, so I'm constantly asking questions and re-working our numbers.

What we are going to wind up doing is bringing a photographer with us. I found someone who just wants us to pay travel costs for her and her fiance (her assistant). The cost is about the same as hiring someone with the vendor fee, or upping our package to the resort. However, with her coming down as a guest, there is no vendor fee. As well, she is giving us: the full day of coverage (from bride getting ready to last formality of our reception) an engagement shoot (we already had one done but she said she can swap it for something else on site - maybe a photo booth or a 1 hour period where she can do photos for our guests on the beach) a trash the dress session coverage of rehearsal dinner or another event So we get everything we want/need, for the same cost. And she gets a few days vacation. We are even arranging for her to fly in the day before our wedding - we get married on a Monday, but she is shooting in Ontario the Saturday before. So she is coming in the day before, and then we will fly her back on the Thursday so she can organize and still be able to book another wedding on the following Saturday (decreases her losses on the travel side). So we get about 1.5 days of coverage total (because we won't have another event for her to shoot in that time frame), and she gets 1.5-2 days of beach time to herself (we will give her at least one whole day without anything to do - probably the day right after the wedding). Might be a better option for you

We haven't thought too much about this yet - on our RSVP on the website we do ask people if they would want to do a stag/stagette day with an excursion/activity and their price limit. We'll go off that. As for welcome drinks - I think we will wind up trying to plan something as we have at least 7 guests travelling from England and arriving the day after the rest of our group does. It would be good so everyone has a place to meet, chat, get to know each other. I just don't think we have decided if we will do it just at the bar or a dinner or what. It will likely come down to how many people RSVP and what our costs wind up being.

Oh sorry! PMLE is the name of the skin issue I have - polymorphic light eruption.

Funny I was just thinking about this! I tend to always tan before I go south (bad, I know). I find I don't burn as easily. I also recently discovered I have a bit of a skin condition (PMLE if you've heard of it) so I break out in rashes when I am in UV rays too long. It helps condition me to the sun - that and a super amazing cream I ordered with sunblock keeps the rash at bay. However, I tanned before I went to Mexico this year and still got tanlines on the beach so I'll be a)more careful with my sun exposure and will buy one or two more strapless bandeaus for the beach (I'm small up top so no worries).

I haven't even really thought about it all that much - I figured if my dress drags in the same then so be it! I'll bring shoes and leave them at the end of the aisle or with my sister! I will have flats to change into after my feet hurt at the reception, so I'll keep that in mind when my dress gets bustled.

This is what I was debating on doing. We have a tight time frame - got engaged July 22, booked the resort within 2 weeks and the my TA (a friend attending the wedding) got our room block booked for our Canadian guests (we have guests from the US and England as well). But, WJ gave us only 30 days to get deposits in (deadline is Sept 10, we are telling people Sept 5). So I wound up doing a long email and telling people save the dates and an invitation would follow. I just sent out save the dates (we did magnets affixed to the front of plain note cards and I wrote out the details and personal message inside). The business card of our TA was in there, and our magnets have the website on it. We've only had 4 of 11 'rooms' book so far (and I did the manifests for 2 because it was our parents). One has told me that he is not coming. And we have had 7 people RSVP from England - based only on a FB message from my FI (the save the dates won't arrive until later there). So I am thinking about waiting to see who is coming/who is a maybe. I will still do 'invites' but I think more of an info package (with a luggage tag maybe) will go out to those who book. Those who are ''on the fence'' can have an invite, but no luggage tag/info. I have just been so stressed out with other stupid things and now this deadline comes up. I don't want to do anymore!!! WAHHH

I am sure you will get through it. Its a hard thing to talk about - it might help if you try to get to the root of what is bothering him. I have an FI that tends to not absorb a lot of what I say in the heat of a moment or conversation - quite often I have to go back and say things again or explain it to him. As much as I want to just throw down and lose my own sh*t (because lets be honest, we all need those moments), I know it doesn't help so I have to be the calm one. I think its great you two are able to do cash for all of it! That's our goal as well. We just won't be dropping our regular amounts each month into savings, but we will do our best to keep it in tact. We are also going to be putting our accounts together sooner than later - we live together and now with the wedding we don't want to keep track of 'I owe this, you paid that'. It'll all be in one place. Whether you want to cut something or not - put EVERYTHING down on paper before you talk to him - show him numbers and categories - what is done and paid for and what isn't. Give him the opportunity to ask questions. Highlight the things that COULD still be altered, no matter how silly (whether its shortening your trip, downgrading your room, not ordering pizza etc. etc.). It doesn't mean they are coming off, but it gives him a chance to look at it and 'problem solve' with you. And to visually see how that will or will not affect the numbers. Good luck!!! You'll be fine

I'm sorry you have to go through that! My FI isn't concerned about the cost (we both have enough money put away and we are paying for things as we go instead of dropping money into savings regularly like we do). His family is also give us 5k to help. However, I mentioned the highest budget of 18k all in and he kind of got pale! To be honest, in our relationship I am the one that panics about money. I grew up in family of spenders and we were always scrapping by. So I'm pretty tight. Everyone else is trying to convince me just to do the little extra - like my dress was $250 over what I was hoping to spend.... I'm super happy with it but had a hard time deciding based on costs. But we're doing this as affordably as we can - I'm DIY the centrepieces/decor to save costs. We will do gift bags for our guests but will likely go to a dollar store to get acrylic cups (or order stadium cups) and just do a waterproof sticker ourselves for it. I won't buy my BM dresses, hair or make-up (hair and make-up for a beach wedding can be casual) but I will likely give them each a personal robe and some jewellery (maybe sandals too) for the wedding. Where I panic is our guest list - we have a large list (68 invited) and just had 7 people we didn't think would come RSVP. I've budgeted for the full list to show up, but it doesn't mean I don't get anxious. And the little costs drive me crazy - I forget about buying rings, paying for our license etc. I think you FI likely missed the big picture moving along - you discussed the costs and agreed, but it seems like he didn't keep a running tally in his head - everything separate sounds 'reasonable'. Its only after its all added up that it gets ridiculous. It does seem a bit late to start taking stuff off - I am guessing most of your 'splurge' items are already ordered, and that your BMs know that you are paying for them to do hair make-up! Unless he wants to downgrade your room at the resort for 2 weeks, or cancel the second week, or just stay 10 days, it looks like a tough fix It sounds like you are still within an affordable budget with what you each are putting in. I would take extra care to spend no more and every money discussion you remind him of the running tally. And this too will pass!!! What is done is done and you will weather it together - that's the whole point of marriage! Not always pleasant, but you'll get it figured. Hugs!

YES! Because thats what I am looking for! This is a couple ideas I had: Centrepieces - I actually think I will do something with metal buckets because they travel well. These are my current ideas: So I would do the first picture, but fill it with water and floating candles (maybe put some sparkles in the water), and around the bottom do greenery with some tropical flowers in our colours. I can probably get a metal stand to put inside the bucket of water with our table numbers on it. I may paint it with white metallic and put a coloured ribbon around it. And with a pail - it can be as rustic as you want it to be, or as elegant. You can take off the handle and paint it. You can leave it as is! That, OR try something like this: And I would probably bring my own candles and do something like this (and add maybe a monogram sticker or a thin ribbon on it: Driftwood would travel well but is a bit heavy.