Sophiaone95

That sounds like a great plan @@Lilian84. Haha, lol. Thanks so much ! That's very reassuring to hear.. Thanks a ton @@IvanLuckiePhotography!

You are all SO right. I think I’d kick myself & have A LOT of regrets after all is said in done if we went against what we want for our special day just to please others. I’ve done this a lot in other aspects of my life, and have ended up with many regrets. All of you have really helped me realize not to take that route again. Thank you! Thanks @@VegasBride121314 (I LOVE your wedding date btw J) & @@Mandiesue. Good point!! That’s how we feel & another reason why we don’t want anyone paying. Congratulations & best of luck to you both ! Hi @@TinkerSofi – The guilt of making everyone pay was making me feel awful too. I almost made myself forget the destination wedding, because of that & these other problems I’m dealing with. It’s tough not to feel a little selfish when asking others to pay so much money to come to the wedding. However, we need to remember we’re not forcing anyone to go & it is a vacation like you said! My sister would like to think I’m “forcing her” because she feels obligated to go as my sister, but if they don’t want to go, then they don’t have to! I already told her the other day they don’t need to come, only because I was so fed up with the way she has been acting (even though deep down through everything, I would truly love to have her & her family there). Such great points in your post & it made me feel a million times better. Thanks a ton and I wish you the best with your wedding!!! Hi @TheBHolders- I don’t blame you.. My post was long! Lol. *Everything* you mentioned was exactly why we want to have it there (and we even got engaged there !). And what a coincidence… Our third trip will be for our wedding too ! After being there, it’s hard for me to truly imagine getting married anywhere else either. It’s our family holding us back with negative thoughts & making me feel guilty if something happens. The end of your post was just perfect. I almost cried. That’s the perfect thing for me to say? Thank you so so much! Congratulations & I wish you all the best with your wedding. @TAKATHY- Thank you for all those great tips! Really good info. I will tell my sister about the notarized letter- Thanks for bringing that up! Luckily it's not for her infant.. It's for her older daughter, but she will still need it! @Shevette925- Great tips also, thank you! I will definitely put some safety tips out there for guests, though will be cautious of what I say in order to not encourage more anxiety.(good point!!) Thanks again!! Best of luck to everyone on here!!! And congratulations to those who have tied the knot already !!! I'm excited after reading all these posts.. Something I lost a while back due to all the negativity I was receiving. So thank you all !!!

Hi @ACW271011- It’s saddens me to know you had to go through something similar. Thank you for your understanding & kind words. I really appreciate you being honest & putting everything into perspective for us. It would hurt to not have some of our family present so I completely get what you’re saying. However, the fact that you were both so strong & overcame the negativity together, means the world & probably brought you both closer together in the end. I’m sure your wedding was even more special and intimate having just the two of you there. I sometimes dream of eloping to be honest. Sounds extremely romantic! Just scared we may regret it. Everything you mention about the way weddings have become is true.. This was one of the reasons fiancé did not want to get married or have a wedding in the first place. He’s in the wedding industry & sees what couples go through all the time. It’s really unfortunate & it can cause a ton of strain on the relationship, like you mentioned. Due to all that, my fiancé would be happy just getting married at the courthouse & I can’t say I haven’t thought about it a time or two after all this! I always said I would never get stressed over my wedding or complicate things, but here I am sadly. It seems to get the best of us. The good thing about eloping, is that you only have to worry about you two. Once you bring a whole bunch of people into the picture, it can start to complicate things as you mentioned. Some people can be very vocal too, even though it’s not their wedding! Our families all keep telling us to get married in the US & honeymoon in Mexico, which they can’t understand defeats the purpose. I had considered just fiancé & I getting married in Mexico & then having a reception at home after.. But having my father walk me down the aisle would mean the world to me. We almost lost him a few years back so this would be very special as it’s something I’ve looked forward to even as a little girl. A while back, we told our family we were getting married in Mexico no matter what, in order to see if they’d change their mind & come around, and we’ve discovered our parents wouldn’t miss it thankfully. Regardless, they keep pushing for somewhere else since they know there’s still time left.. Especially due to my sister & her family. We could just have our parents there, but we decided to extend the invite to all our immediate family (siblings, nieces, nephews), which has complicated things further. However, fiancé’s siblings have been much more positive, than mine. I don’t even know if my brother would be coming either. I feel scared to even bring it up to him. We treat our nieces & nephews like our own, so it would be tough not having them around for the wedding. We need to really decide if we could do without some of our family being there, but it’s hard to think about with all the pressure. I hope we can get it all figured out & soon. Again your words have been so comforting ACW271011.. I think we will make it through this & end up stronger as you mentioned. Many congratulations on your wedding J!!!! And thank you x a million! Hi @@jamie04dolphins – I’m so sorry you had to go through this, but thrilled everything turned out perfect for you!!!! That’s reassuring. I would also love to hear your comparison on Punta Cana & Mexico(if you don’t mind PMing me). I had considered P/C, however it’s a 7-8 hour flight from here(non-stop) so once that was brought up, my family said never mind. My sister’s wedding was 10 hours away, but she will have a young baby so I can understand how this would be tough. Plus we got engaged in Mexico. I’ve actually heard P/C can be less safe(outside the resort) and I’m not sure if that’s true, but I would probably end up going through the same thing once they start researching the area! And you are so right, you can’t please everyone!! I’m glad to know you made it through everything & got the wedding of your dreams! Congratulations and thank you so much for sharing your experience!! Hi @Lydiasusi- That really hits home as you’re dealing with such a similar experience. What’s even more crazy, is that fiancé does not want his dad’s gf there either which is putting us in an awkward situation with him. He doesn’t know how to tell his dad this either. Seems like we’re dealing with a lot of the same things! I hope some of your family is able to come around and make it. However, even if they don’t, the ones who matter most will be there J.. You & your future husband. Plus your friends will be there which are like an extension of family. I think you will have a blast and your wedding will turn out beautiful. If your dad can’t make it, have you thought about broadcasting it live for him through something like skype(if possible?). I have seen where some resorts do that down there. This was another thought previously in my mind when no one was coming. In the end, I’m glad you’re able to know what you want and will be getting what you want! I have so many people sticking their opinions in my mind, that I have trouble most days even knowing what it is I want anymore.. Thank you for your reassurance, and I hope your wedding is the most beautiful day possible!! Thank you all again!!!

Wow! I wasn't expecting so much support! For a while I thought maybe I was being too selfish with the whole D/W thing, but you all changed that. I appreciate all your thoughts & they really help put everything into perspective.. Thank you all so so much!!! Wish I could hug you all!!!! Thank you @@Maggietron, @@kmk2016, @@Lilian84, @@peachykeen159, @@calgarybride2015, @@AllieH, @@TAkathy, @@Sarahop81, @@shevette925, @@Mandiesue!! Such a wonderful group of ladies you all are! I just hope we're not too late on invites so that those wanting to come have enough time to save up & ask off work(if needed). Is 7-8 months typically too short of a notice? And to be honest.. I still carry this guilt on me if something were to happen to someone there, especially after family members have brought it up.... I think I just need to pray very hard everything turns out well & nothing negative occurs. AllieH, Calgary, Sarahup81, MandieSue: It's comforting to hear your experiences as you four have gone/are going through this same thing, however I am very sorry & not happy to hear that ya'll had to deal with this same type of thing as I know how heartbreaking & what a burden you can feel from it all. I'm glad you all stood for what you & your fiance ultimately wanted. I am very sorry for those that could not make it to your weddings... But it's true, those that want & can be there, will be there. And it makes me feel sooo *much* better that no one regrets their decision. Fiance and I really need to sit down & decide if we would be okay with some of our family members not being able to make it. I feel like most of them would come through (some more so than others.. and many out of “obligation”), but there's no guarantee so we need to face the fact it could happen. I have done all I can for these family members, so if they can't do this for us, then it is what it is. I've tried explaining to our family that we would never take them somewhere we felt was unsafe & put them in that predicament, but they are still kind of stuck in their ways. AllieH-I'm so glad your parents decided to make the trip & had the best time. That's unfortunate about your sister, but yes it is her loss! And the last post you sent me kind of sealed the deal on the whole D/W . Thank you for that! I'm also glad to hear you haven't had a single problem in the last 3 times you've visited. Thank you so much for your help & congrats on your marriage!!! Sarahup81- You are completely right about Chicago! Ironic right? I get where you’re coming from as we live just a few short hours from the border & our families have the mindset that the whole country is probably unsafe due to what goes on. I keep explaining we're flying *over* the border away from this area, but they just keep listening to everything negative they read or hear. That's also a great point about it being more about having a vacation together, rather than just a wedding. I've tried to explain this, but I think we need to bring it up more in our conversations. Some people try not to see it as a “vacation” because it’s not where they would choose, but I wouldn’t have chosen this destination if I felt everyone wouldn’t enjoy it. I just KNOW they would have at least somewhat of a good time once there. Great points again, Thank you!! And congrats & best wishes for your wedding day! Let me know how it goes! MandieSue- "We both sat down oneday and discussed if would still be happy if we were the only 2 people standing on the beach... We said "YES". Everyone else is a bonus to the day." <~ Such a great point & so happy you two came to that conclusion! Melts my heart . I hear Punta Cana is stunning! Let us know how it is! All the best to both of you & thank you for your kind words! Calgarybride- I'm so glad your dad came around!!! That's kind of how it was with both our parents, but they know they can't stop us, so they would rather be there, then not be present thankfully. I’m positive our sister & her family would come to Vegas, as they go all the time. And I used to be able to picture us getting married there, but for some reason I can’t anymore. Also, if we do it in the US, it means we have to invite a lot more people, which of course means the cost will go up substantially & it’s already more expensive there to begin with. We also want to keep our wedding smaller & more intimate with only those close to us there. You are so right about every country being unsafe.. Every country has it’s good & bad areas, as well as people. Some worse than others, but there’s a chance of something happening anywhere you go, or even don’t go for that matter! I think you just have to use your best judgment as much as possible. I wish I was a superhero that could predict things, but I’m not! I tried explaining about the different areas of Mexico to our families..And luckily I know it’s gotten through to them just a little. My fiancé also came across some chart that stated how US was more dangerous than Mexico in certain aspects. Thank you again for all your help. Best of luck with your wedding & congrats !! XOXO to you all! Can't thank you enough!!! At the beginning of our engagement, I told myself I wouldn't be one of those brides who stresses out & makes things complicated.. But now look at me! Yikes. lol.

Hi everyone, Seeking some advice & hope some of you can help or share your experiences. In 2013 my fiancé and I got engaged in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico. A few months after getting engaged, we had planned to get married there since that’s where we got engaged & we love it there. Our families weren’t overly ecstatic about the choice of Mexico due to all the negative they hear about it… While back then they had said a few negative things here & there, many were originally still excited to go to experience an all inclusive & see the beautiful beaches. However, now that we’re back from viewing resorts & making our final decisions, some of our family members are SO negative about us having our wedding there. The one being the most negative is my sister who says things would be different if it was just her & her husband, but now she has a family(I can understand this to an extent). One of her children will be 7 months old at the time of the wedding. I tell her they want to keep it safe for the tourists as that’s how they make the majority of their money & she comes back with things she reads about how unsafe it is in Playa Del Carmen, & that people have been killed in the hotel elevator, & how a guy accidently crossed over the border not realizing it and is now spending his life in jail. She’s scared someone may sneak drugs in their luggage & they will end up responsible & in jail as she’s heard of that happening too. She’s also scaring me as my parents haven’t been in the most exceptional health over the past years & is freaking me out in case something happens to them while over there. Big guilt trip & I would hate myself forever if something were to happen since all the blame would be on me. She’s also complaining about how expensive it will be for everyone & saying don’t I feel bad wanting people to pay that much money in order to come.. However she got married on an island 10 hours away which was even more expensive & had nothing included. She gave us 3 months notice & no one complained, but that was “okay” because it was in the US.(Hawaii) The flight to Mexico is less than 3 hours away. Right now we’re getting quotes back of $1,000-$1,500 per person for 4-7 days, flight included & all inclusive hotel stay. Kids are cheaper. She also said she's not sure if she can even get a passport for my niece(due to her stepdad) & that if she can't get one for her, then none of them are coming as she's not leaving her daughter behind. (which I can understand) It seems lately very few people have been positive about our having our wedding in Mexico. Our friends have been the most positive. Both our families are really pushing for Vegas or they say anywhere in the US for that matter. They keep saying why don’t we get married in the US & honeymoon in Mexico. Well we’re wanting our ceremony on the beach. We were fixing to send our save the dates out soon and/or invites, as it’s only 8 months away from when we want to get married & people need to save up and ask for time off work if needed. We even did “engagement” pictures in Mexico for our Save the dates & invites. After all this negative feedback, I’m in such a bad place & stressing like crazy. Mexico is really what we want & envisioned. I have spent hundreds of hours looking into having our wedding there & getting ideas. We might go to Vegas next month to look at our options & make our family happy. And while fiancé & I grew up visiting there throughout our whole lives, it seems all the venues/options are either 1.)super cheesy, 2.)very expensive, or 3.) not what we want. We were also planning to pay for the actual wedding in Mexico ourselves. My mom keeps pushing for Vegas & saying she will pay all of it if we have it there & that it will be cheaper for them anyway. We don’t want to feel like we owe someone something & feel like it’ll be a big waste if we’re not even happy in the end. Another concern we have with Vegas is that if us or our guests gamble & lose, we know that can result in a bad wedding & sour vacation... been there, done that. Florida or California were another option, but seems very expensive & I’m not sure which beaches even compare to Playa Del Carmen. I would hate to show up and be disappointed w/our choice. All I know is time is ticking away & having our wedding in the US will definitely be more money.. Mexico is affordable for us & we truly felt everyone would have a good time & wanted them to experience an all inclusive at least once in their life. I also looked into many other Caribbean destinations, but they were more expensive for our guests and/or also portrayed as unsafe. I *think* everything will be fine once our families get to Mexico & it will free them of so many negative thoughts, however in the back of my mind I have this huge burden on top of me due to the guilt and sadness I will feel if something bad does happen to someone there after all this. I’ve even been having bad dreams because of it. Feel like having a breakdown . Almost cancelled wedding & would get married next year instead maybe, but I really wanted it soon as it will be our 10 year anniversary in a little less than a year. Have almost gave in to getting married in Vegas or in town just to please everyone else, even though I doubt we would be happy. The thought of eloping has crossed our minds many times & we would be able to do it somewhere extremely beautiful, however one of the most important things is my dad walking me down the aisle and I don’t want to miss out on that, especially as we almost lost him a few years ago(though he is in *much* better health now & recovered after his surgery a few years back).. I also feel if we elope, we might regret not having our family at our wedding, but who even knows if they will all go to our wedding in Mexico to begin with. I know our parent’s will come even though not thrilled, since I know they wouldn’t want to miss it, but not sure about our siblings, nieces, & nephews. We do a lot for our families & I don’t feel we’re asking very much. What should I do? I’m really freaking out due to the time left before the wedding & feel like the longer we wait to send out invites, the less people that will be able to go due to not having the money saved in time or not being able to get off work. Even worse, I haven’t started looking for a dress since we’re not 100% decided on where we’re going to have the wedding. (Vegas & the beach are two totally different destinations) A wedding shop told me some dresses can even take up to 12 months to get in. Do we go with what we want & envision, but risk not having some of the people we love there.. Or do we go with what everyone else wants in order to make everyone comfortable & happy? I feel damned if I do, damned if I don’t. Almost considered having two ceremonies, but I don’t know how dumb this would be & photos are very important to my fiancé & I, which would cost a fortune to have done in two places. Any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated it. Did anyone go through this same thing & regret any of their decisions? I would love to hear some feedback. Thank you to all those that have read this & taking the time out to help!

Hi everyone, Seeking some advice & hope some of you can help or share your experiences. In 2013 my fiancé and I got engaged in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico. A few months after getting engaged, we had planned to get married there since that’s where we got engaged & we love it there. Our families weren’t overly ecstatic about the choice of Mexico due to all the negative they hear about it… While back then they had said a few negative things here & there, many were originally still excited to go to experience an all inclusive & see the beautiful beaches. However, now that we’re back from viewing resorts & making our final decisions, some of our family members are SO negative about us having our wedding there. The one being the most negative is my sister who says things would be different if it was just her & her husband, but now she has a family(I can understand this to an extent). One of her children will be 7 months old at the time of the wedding. I tell her they want to keep it safe for the tourists as that’s how they make the majority of their money & she comes back with things she reads about how unsafe it is in Playa Del Carmen, & that people have been killed in the hotel elevator, & how a guy accidently crossed over the border not realizing it and is now spending his life in jail. She’s scared someone may sneak drugs in their luggage & they will end up responsible & in jail as she’s heard of that happening too. She’s also scaring me as my parents haven’t been in the most exceptional health over the past years & is freaking me out in case something happens to them while over there. Big guilt trip & I would hate myself forever if something were to happen since all the blame would be on me. She’s also complaining about how expensive it will be for everyone & saying don’t I feel bad wanting people to pay that much money in order to come.. However she got married on an island 10 hours away which was even more expensive & had nothing included. She gave us 3 months notice & no one complained, but that was “okay” because it was in the US.(Hawaii) The flight to Mexico is less than 3 hours away. Right now we’re getting quotes back of $1,000-$1,500 per person for 4-7 days, flight included & all inclusive hotel stay. Kids are cheaper. She also said she's not sure if she can even get a passport for my niece(due to her stepdad) & that if she can't get one for her, then none of them are coming as she's not leaving her daughter behind. (which I can understand) It seems lately very few people have been positive about our having our wedding in Mexico. Our friends have been the most positive. Both our families are really pushing for Vegas or they say anywhere in the US for that matter. They keep saying why don’t we get married in the US & honeymoon in Mexico. Well we’re wanting our ceremony on the beach. We were fixing to send our save the dates out soon and/or invites, as it’s only 8 months away from when we want to get married & people need to save up and ask for time off work if needed. We even did “engagement” pictures in Mexico for our Save the dates & invites. After all this negative feedback, I’m in such a bad place & stressing like crazy. Mexico is really what we want & envisioned. I have spent hundreds of hours looking into having our wedding there & getting ideas. We might go to Vegas next month to look at our options & make our family happy. And while fiancé & I grew up visiting there throughout our whole lives, it seems all the venues/options are either 1.)super cheesy, 2.)very expensive, or 3.) not what we want. We were also planning to pay for the actual wedding in Mexico ourselves. My mom keeps pushing for Vegas & saying she will pay all of it if we have it there & that it will be cheaper for them anyway. We don’t want to feel like we owe someone something & feel like it’ll be a big waste if we’re not even happy in the end. Another concern we have with Vegas is that if us or our guests gamble & lose, we know that can result in a bad wedding & sour vacation... been there, done that. Florida or California were another option, but seems very expensive & I’m not sure which beaches even compare to Playa Del Carmen. I would hate to show up and be disappointed w/our choice. All I know is time is ticking away & having our wedding in the US will definitely be more money.. Mexico is affordable for us & we truly felt everyone would have a good time & wanted them to experience an all inclusive at least once in their life. I also looked into many other Caribbean destinations, but they were more expensive for our guests and/or also portrayed as unsafe. I *think* everything will be fine once our families get to Mexico & it will free them of so many negative thoughts, however in the back of my mind I have this huge burden on top of me due to the guilt and sadness I will feel if something bad does happen to someone there after all this. I’ve even been having bad dreams because of it. Feel like having a breakdown . Almost cancelled wedding & would get married next year instead maybe, but I really wanted it soon as it will be our 10 year anniversary in a little less than a year. Have almost gave in to getting married in Vegas or in town just to please everyone else, even though I doubt we would be happy. The thought of eloping has crossed our minds many times & we would be able to do it somewhere extremely beautiful, however one of the most important things is my dad walking me down the aisle and I don’t want to miss out on that, especially as we almost lost him a few years ago(though he is in *much* better health now & recovered after his surgery a few years back).. I also feel if we elope, we might regret not having our family at our wedding, but who even knows if they will all go to our wedding in Mexico to begin with. I know our parent’s will come even though not thrilled, since I know they wouldn’t want to miss it, but not sure about our siblings, nieces, & nephews. We do a lot for our families & I don’t feel we’re asking very much. What should I do? I’m really freaking out due to the time left before the wedding & feel like the longer we wait to send out invites, the less people that will be able to go due to not having the money saved in time or not being able to get off work. Even worse, I haven’t started looking for a dress since we’re not 100% decided on where we’re going to have the wedding. (Vegas & the beach are two totally different destinations) A wedding shop told me some dresses can even take up to 12 months to get in. Do we go with what we want & envision, but risk not having some of the people we love there.. Or do we go with what everyone else wants in order to make everyone comfortable & happy? I feel damned if I do, damned if I don’t. Almost considered having two ceremonies, but I don’t know how dumb this would be & photos are very important to my fiancé & I, which would cost a fortune to have done in two places. Any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated it. Did anyone go through this same thing & regret any of their decisions? I would love to hear some feedback. Thank you to all those that have read this & taking the time out to help!