beckys98

I MEANT to start packing last weekend, but nothing actually made it into a suitcase! Haha. So you're better off than we are! I keep looking at the wedding stuff and the carry on sized suitcase I intend for it to fit inside and scratch my head. We also def should have registered for luggage...we didn't register at all and now I think that was an opportunity missed

I think you should wear whatever you want! The opinion of you and your groom are the only ones that matter! I think as long as the "fanciness" of your dress goes with the groom's attire and the rest of your decor/theme then it is totally fine. We are going a little more casual so dresses I tried on with "bling" didn't feel right to me, but that is just our style. But I'm wearing lace and some people might also say lace isn't "beachy" so it doesn't matter. I've seen all types of bridal gowns for beach weddings - so follow your heart

You can do it! Trust me, I leave in 12 days and somehow you start to slowly but surely check things off! For a long while I felt like I was working on the same stuff every weekend but not actually finishing anything! And we were super busy in April (which was when we had 2 months to go) so I got really stressed. Now, I'm not as worried about the wedding as I am preparing to be off work for 2 weeks! I just don't know how that is all going to work out!

I'm jealous!! I want to come (I'm in Chicago.)

Your to-do list looks about right! I still have a couple of those on my list and I'm 2.5 weeks from leaving You're in great shape with plenty of time left! I'm so grateful for the holiday weekend to start wrapping up loose ends. We didn't really have any changes to our list when it came time for final payment! I thought maybe, but no changes and no issues. Well, if there were issues my TA didn't tell me about them, which is awesome. We are barely getting any perks, unfortunately. Our resort offers a free person (rebated to us) for every 20 guests and the rebate is based on the minimum number of nights anyone in our group is staying. Well, unfortunately we have someone staying only 2 nights so the 2 "free passengers" we are going to get will only be based on 2 nights. I mean, it is still something, but much less than we hoped. But, at one point based on verbal RSVPs we thought we'd have 80 guests and we're down to 65. We would have paid for everything for 80 guests, so I guess we're still ahead based on that.

They did finally respond that the received our documents for the license, but the questions I emailed on May 3rd (and followed up on) I still have gotten a response on! I've just given up that I won't have the answer. Haha - ultimately it is better than getting worked up about it We leave in 18 days! Wedding is in 22!

@@veryvalentine - Definitely! I actually tried to post it on here but I couldn't get the file to upload for the life of me! Really not sure why. I will try again when I get home tonight, or I can definitely email it to you as well. I ended up using a MS Word newsletter template and modifying it for my colors/content. The guests who have actually read it said it was very helpful

I would agree with @@vancouverpetunia - At this point the friend has to understand that your RSVP deadline was several weeks ago and plans have been made for the wedding. Especially since it is such an intimate affair! I would definitely let him know the guest is welcome on the trip, but they will have to entertain themselves for a few hours! I mean, it really is only a few hours of the trip. (Side note - I put together an 8 page document with everything people needed to know about Jamaica, the resort, and our itinerary for the week and had someone ask me questions yesterday that were all answered in the document. I just told them to read the document and didn't answer their question directly I don't have time for that with 3 weeks to go!)

We did not consider RIU Montego Bay, though I honestly cannot remember why?! We're getting married in 3 short weeks at Iberostar Rose Hall Suites. I've seen a ton of brides who had a fabulous time at Iberostar Rose Hall Beach and have seen zero complaints about the wedding coordinators and the wedding itself. We chose the adjacent "Suites" over the "Beach" resort because it was generally just nicer. Looked like the rooms at Iberostar Rose Hall Beach are a little older and there aren't quite as many amenities there like fewer restaurants. For us, it was worth the incremental increase in cost to go with Suites, which also gives your guests full access to the Beach resort. The Iberostars only do 1 wedding per day, which is a little bit of a plus. Not that I need to be the only bride - it is just that I got stressed out thinking about competing with other weddings for ceremony times, reception venues and spa appointments. I'm sure it's generally fine, but that would have been really bad for my anxiety. I know myself If you have any questions on Iberostar Rose Hall Suites, let me know!

I am changing my middle name to my maiden name and taking his last name. I never really liked my middle name anyway (even my parents told me they made the wrong choice - ha) so I'm happy to sacrifice it to keep my last name! And then it is easier than hyphenating. If we have kids, I will also give them my maiden name as their middle name so they have both of our names. Fortunately, neither one of our names are super long or cumbersome - both just 2 syllables - so the kid won't have a crazy name

@@LisaAnthonyPoppy I literally had some tears reading your posts - thrilled to hear that this process has put you in a good place and now you're ready and able to enjoy your wedding. Hope this crew helped you a little I also wholeheartedly agree with you and @@rachelia160 on counseling. We are ALL different people with different histories, different quirks, different communication styles. Even when you are both trying really hard, sometimes you just need that objective party to help you really understand each other and get to a better place! Counseling can give you both better coping skills for challenging times (I also always have the instinct to run or quit) is a net positive and does not mean that you aren't a good fit for each other. So cheers to you and your fiance! Now I can't wait to see some wedding photos!!

We have one couple not staying at the resort and we are having them pay their day passes - but they are a special circumstance as well and we did not feel obligated to pay for them. But we have about 7 people who live in Jamaica coming and we ARE paying their day passes at $80 each. That is a lot of money for a Jamaican so if we didn't pay they wouldn't be able to come. So we budgeted for that.

We are using Floral Fantasies - Tai Floral never got back to me and Jan's responded once but when I asked a follow up question I never heard back. But I have heard great things about Jan's from many other brides! Chantal at Floral Fantasies has been great to work with. I'll let you know how my flowers turn out in 27 days! We are not doing a videographer but I've heard good reviews of Elite Media Concepts, Roxroy and 876 films.

@@veryvalentine I'd be losing it!! Holy smokes! Are you even going to be able to do escort cards? I guess if I knew it was the LAST thing I could do I'd be sure to just have all my packing and stuff done so I'm not scrambling at the end, but I'm a little on the controlling side so I'd be freaking out! Hope you have better anxiety management skills than I do Haha.

We leave in 23 DAYS! Crazy how that happened:) We actually have had a few people cancel and we still are trying to confirm who from my fiance's side that live in Jamaica are coming just for the wedding day. So I can't completely finalize my seating chart and placecards. I had to mix everything back up last weekend because of one addition, but now I think I have it squared away with a few seats still available at 1 table for any more joiners. I just want to move things to the "done" column! Oh yeah, except his mom still hasn't made her plans so there is that wild card that I'm trying not to worry about anymore...

@@LisaAnthonyPoppy That is really great that you were so honest with him! As we all know, relationships take a lot of work and you have both demonstrated through this experience that you're willing to own up to it when you're not carrying your end of the bargain and promise to do better. I think is it easy to become complacent and take your partner for granted - that little swift kick sometimes can help correct course! You also can't underestimate how dumb boys can be sometimes and need to be told what we need - my fiance falls into that category BIG TIME. I've spent 9 years "training" him. He hadn't had a serious girlfriend before me and was super clueless. He is not very good with his words so I can often feel unappreciated - I literally had to tell him a couple weeks ago that I would like it if he complimented me every once in awhile. (And threatened him that if he didn't compliment me on our wedding day that I'm calling it off.) DUH. God love him... The wedding is the wedding...but your relationship, your kids and your happiness are more important than any day. It sounds like you're in a healthy place and you'll make the best decisions for all of you. Hang in there!

You gals are hilarious! I love all the feminists on here!!! You are my type of gals! @@TinkerSofi That totally makes sense - I might feel differently if I lived with my parents as well. I'm just mid-30s and have been living on my own since I was 17. And my fiance and I have been together for 9. So that factors in too!

Oh definitely! I think that is a beautiful idea and I would definitely do it if I had her dress. She will literally be close to you all day

I also commend you for being honest. I have a friend who cancelled her wedding a month before because she wasn't ready to be married. Guess what? Her NOW HUSBAND stayed with her afterward and they got married 2 years later and now have 3 kids. She didn't want to break up, she just wasn't ready to be married. I am always in awe of both of them - that she was brave enough to be honest and that he was understanding enough to stick with her. I do think there are valid times when we shouldn't ignore our feelings, even when it is the easier thing to do. So I think a "cold feet" explanation is probably not productive without real introspection and communication with your partner. I will definitely say there have been a few times over the last couple months where I got MUCH MORE upset over something my fiance did or didn't do than I ever have before. My sister reminded me that in advance of the wedding you start to think "I'M GOING TO BE DEALING WITH THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!" and it causes some panic. I always say - I've only been alive 34 years and I'm making a decision that (with any luck) could last almost double that! Kind of terrifying when you put it that way. All the ladies above have already given you great advice, but I just say be really honest with yourself about the root of your feelings and where they are coming from. Even when I'm at my angriest with my fiance, I still have the certainty that I want to marry him and believe that we'll be one of the couples that make it a lifetime! Good luck to you. Isn't great to have so many supportive comments!?! Hope this has brought you some peace today

We have 60 guests staying at the resort and then another 7 coming off resort just for the day (family members). The extra costs for the tented reception were just too much for us to justify. Plus, I sweat a lot so I REALLY wanted air conditioning for my reception! We are paying the extra $800 to rent Calabash for a private reception from 6:30 - 10. We are doing a DJ because it was $150 per hour to rent the sound system (to use an iPod) or $190 an hour for the DJ. So we might as well do the DJ and not have to worry about it! We are not doing a formal cocktail hour in between - we're just directing people to the lobby bar. For our welcome reception the night before, we're doing a semi-private dinner at 6:30. They don't confirm your restaurant location for that until a week before, but my first choice is Aunt Ruby and second choice Maria Bonita. We're going to have people meet in the lobby 30 minutes before for a cocktail so we can say hello to anyone we hadn't seen yet (about 1/3 of our guests arrive that day). Also that way I can do my itineraries NOW without knowing the restaurant location - so we'll meet in the lobby and just walk over to the restaurant together. The dinner is free, it just counts as one of the guests' reservations they are entitled to during their stay. Then from 8-10pm we're doing a bonfire on the beach with a steel drum band! I have heard that for the semi-private dinner they do a good job of secluding you from the rest of the restaurant. We just have a big enough group who LOVE to dance that it was worth the extra $800 for the private restaurant.

This isn't entirely accurate - You can bring goods in as long as they are for your personal use and you aren't reselling them. It is wise to bring receipts for bulk wedding items (like linens) to show that taxes were paid on them in your home country - versus acquiring them duty free - and the value of the items. Even duty free you can bring in a "reasonable" amount of goods without paying taxes. You should declare any "gifts" you are bringing into the country. I plan to declare the items I have for my welcome bags even though the value is negligible. You declare them, but you shouldn't have to pay tax on them unless they are items of meaningful value. If you don't declare something you should have, get searched, and they find it - then they'll probably try to charge you a tax to stick it to you So better to just be up front about it. My fiance is Jamaican and most Jamaicans coming home bring back shoes, clothes, electronics, etc from the US for their family in Jamaica. So he'll definitely get searched and I'm not risking it.

I absolutely adore my dad, but I am not having him walk me down the aisle for a few reasons. Mainly because the idea of being 'given away' offends the feminist in me. I also don't like the idea of walking down the aisle by myself - I don't want all eyes on me and I want everything to be about BOTH of us. So, we are walking out together hand in hand! It is just what feels right to me. (No judgement on the way others do it at all!) I was worried about my dad's feelings. He knows I'm not a very traditional kind of gal so I don't think he was surprised. I'm sure he is a little disappointed but I am still doing a father/daughter dance at the reception and I'm going to do a "first look" with him in my room (I have a small gift for him) before my first look with my fiance. So we can still have a special moment together. I think these 2 things make him very happy! Oh, and he is still doing a speech at the reception. That said, my mom passed away last year so I don't have that factor to consider. I absolutely think it is okay to have them both walk you down the aisle! I think it sounds lovely and your dad was probably just not expecting it. Sounds like you have very loving, progressive parents so I wouldn't lose too much sleep over it. They'll be trilled to be with you on your day in whatever capacity you choose!

@@Mcamille - We're in pretty good shape! Working on seating arrangements/place cards for the welcome dinner and wedding reception this week. We still need to pick our songs for the ceremony and a few other odds and ends. I'm a wee bit anxious because I sent the wedding coordinators a couple of easy questions 10 DAYS ago and they haven't responded, and we also sent our notarized documents for our marriage license application and haven't heard any confirmation of receipt. I'm trying not to worry, but 10 days is a long time when your wedding is in 28 days! I also haven't heard from my photographer since I signed the contract. I sent a note over the weekend and haven't heard back. Payment is due in less than 2 weeks, so I'd kinda like to hear from her before I fork over all the money! My biggest thing right now is packing! I need to get some new clothes for the trip. I HATE packing so I'm trying to do a little bit at a time so I'm not a crazy person right before we leave! I put together a travel tips document for our guests and I'm happy to share it! I don't have it here at work with me but I can post it later.

Your MOH sounds like my sister! My sister would LOVE to be the bad guy in that situation and handle it for me - that kind of thing is what my big sis does best! I think, ultimately, it comes down to what you really want. If you want your SILs at your table for the peace of mind, then I would be explicit about that with your MOH. If you don't want them at your table, then I would GLADLY absolve myself of the responsibility and not worry another minute about it. No one expects the bride to have made the shower seating chart!

@@jeffandrobyn - My fiance and I talked about it and he felt strongly that he doesn't want to do the empty chair/memorial table or a formal mention of it in the wedding ceremony for the reason you stated - he thinks it is just too sad. We'll both mention our mom/grandma in a few remarks at the wedding. My mom had a lot of nice jewelry that, unfortunately, was all stolen from her house shortly before she passed away. I thought of doing a bouquet charm, and I might still, but since I'll only carry that for about 15 minutes that isn't my first choice. I'm thinking of purchasing a ring with her birthstone to wear instead, which of course I can wear afterward as well. Her birthstone is peridot so it is a little unique