TAkathy

So sorry your mom is no longer with you. A couple of thoughts struck me right away as I read your post: 1) you're eloping - so if your mom were here, would she be present at the wedding? 2) it's Costa Rica - you don't want to travel with more than you have to - it is definitely a HARD (or SOFT) adventure location 3) Is there a way you could have a seamstress take a small piece of the dress which won't ruin it but still give you the opportunity to have your mom with you without taking the whole dress? (button, lace, etc?) Sorry for the seemingly incoherent and contradictory thoughts - sometimes I just can't control the flow of my thoughts!

Yes, it is the hotels - however, there is a priority list for properties for which guests to "walk" (the term used to decide which patrons with reservations will be "walked" to another property due to over-booking). Online sites (OTA's) are at the top of this list ALWAYS. Properties do not want to have clients who have booked directly with them unhappy and unlikely to return so it is always better to book directly with the property - and through a TA who works with Tour Operators with direct relationships with the hotels. Unfortunately, over-booking occurs frequently in the travel industry. You decrease your chances of being a victim by avoiding the temptation of an "incredible deal" on a property through an cheap online wholesaler.

Don't forget - even if you are having "sit wherever you like" there will need to be a simple way for the guests to be served the right entree if you are having a served meal vs a buffet. Color-coded cards work well and are fairly easy.

The dual version of Unforgettable - Nat and Natalie Cole

My only question is - you said you sent STD's already right? Who did you send them to? If I got one, I would naturally assume it would be followed by an invitation to the wedding I was asked to SAVE THE DATE for. Maybe I misunderstood but if not, it needs to be handled very delicately so as not to offend people who already think they are going to be invited when they maybe won't be.

Yes, airfares are higher across the board from rates even 1-2 years ago. This applies to almost every itinerary and all times of the year. One reason for this is that with airline consolidation, there are fewer airlines serving different areas and fewer flights to accommodate the travelers. This is resulting in fewer flight vacancies. Fewer available seats = higher prices. One additional thing that impacts your pricing however, is the fact that your DW happens during the busiest traveling holiday of the year - THANKSGIVING. No matter what, the prices for holidays are sky-high and this has been shown to be the holiday where people travel most - to visit family or to visit warmer locations. So, unfortunately, you may not get many breaks or see much downward motion on rates.

Once you have secured and deposited the hotel you are committed. then you can begin to "build" the event and selecting and securing the vendors is a big part of that. As mentioned by Wafflesmom, it is important to factor in any fee charged by the resort for using an "outside" vendor if there is one. When your homework results in the right photographer for you, pull the trigger. The best ones go fast and so does time. I feel it is always best to secure the people you want when you find them - that way you avoid having to select from who is left. Just be sure you read the contract carefully for all the vendors so you are fully aware of all pertinent info - cancellation penalties, etc. Enjoy the process!

July 20 - "green" (rainy) season We had a contingency Plan B and did need to utilize it but although we had some partly cloudy days and also some rain, everyone did everything (and more) and all 42 guests raved about the entire trip. Her wedding was in Manuel Antonio - Central Pacific Coast in the vicinity of Manuel Antonio National Park and Rain Forest. Arenal is inland and north east of Manuel Antonio - about 3 hours away but still subject to rain during rainy season. You've gotta have a Plan B for any tropical location wedding. Can check www.costa-rica-guide.com for weather-related information. The green season is less expensive and the high season (Jan - Mar) is much pricier because it is drier.

My sister was married in Costa Rica is 2012 and everyone who came had a blast - it was truly magical. Costa Rica is an incredibly beautiful and romantic location. But it is what is commonly referred to as " hard adventure travel" because it does not yet have the infrastructure to support large scale tourism. This is good in one way because the habitats remain natural and visitors get to experience animals and scenery that is unlike anything anywhere in the US. However, it also means that all aspects of a Destination Wedding or vacation need to be carefully planned. Guests need to be properly prepared for what they will encounter and travel arrangements need to be thoroughly planned in order that guests not require a vehicle. The roads to Arenal pass through some rural areas and mountain towns. Roads are often not paved and frequently washed out with heavy rain. GPS is not reliable even when it appears there is a signal. So as long as everyone knows they are embarking on a true adventure and is up for it, you will have an amazing wedding there. The seasons there are primarily distinguished by the amount of rainfall. I don't know if your date is set but that is something you will want to consider. The "Ticos" (Costa Ricans) are wonderful, kind and gracious people. You can't beat the backdrop of Arenal Volcano - when you can see it. It disappears often behind a shroud of clouds then magically re-appears just as quickly. So careful planning and a sense of wonder matched by a sense of humor will serve you well as you embark on this adventure! Have fun!

I wouldn't be surprised with the TV exposure they have. Have you tried doing an online search for other vendors?

There are some good suggestions listed above to help keep the costs controlled but going forward it is important to keep in mind: there will be costs incurred that you don't anticipate - there always are. So be forewarned to anticipate this. Carefully read your travel insurance policy so that you don't void the terms if making changes. This may not occur but insurance policies are very specific and many people have very unrealistic ideas about what coverage is provided and what they can do just because they have purchased insurance.

So sorry this happened but it does to necessarily present an issue. I would first find out who will be taking over and what, if anything was left for her to prepare her with the details of your event. If the other WC was professional she would have taken and passed on notes about your discussions and necessary details. It's even possible that the property has the WC keep a form containing all these details. This can then be the worksheets that the Wedding Dept and other WCs can refer to. If nothing was left and, as you say, you have arranged for all the vendors, then you should send her the details you have discussed about any arrangements thus far determined. See what questions she has and, from that point, you should have a sense of how much what additional attention you may need to give the situation. If she is sharp, responsive and communicative, she'll be fine. If you sense that she is not some or all of the above, I would prepare a detailed summary of how you envision the day and keep close tabs on these details with her. I would hope you would have heard from the other WC first, I would definitely reach out soon to initiate this important communication. Good Luck!

You certainly have the right to cut off the guest list at this point - luckily the cut-off point has passed and they do not need to know whether or not their RSVP could be accommodated. But it is very rude that they waited so long so it is on them. I would make the following adjustment (in red) to your reply above: "Unfortunately the RSVP and our booking deadline (Dec 19) have passed. Since we did not receive your RSVP by the deadline, we had to assume that you would not be able to attend. We have submitted our final guest list to the resort and are sorry that you will not be able to join us.

Sometimes people can be downright rude with their intimate and intrusive questions - whether they realize it or not. Clearly you have given this quite a bit of thought and it's really up to you how much detail you wish or decide to reveal regarding the specifics of each ceremony. You could just tell people that you have carefully planned a way to satisfy all the religious and legal requirements and are excited that they can join you in the Mexican celebration of your marriage. They really do not need to know more than that - unless you want them to. It is purely your decision how you do it and how much everyone knows about the specifics. As well, it should be your decision about who is invited to the religious ceremony. That being said, you may have to "pick your battles" and defer to allowing more there than you have selected if it is important to your mom (and not an insurmountable concession for you). On the other hand, if you and your fiancé really feel strongly about something, stand up for yourselves. Weddings can be a very challenging situation to navigate - as you are discovering. But part of the process of establishing your lives separate of your immediate family and each other's friends is deciding how you want to represent yourselves as a couple and the wedding ceremony is, for many, the first opportunity to do this. This can cause some "disturbance in the force" but it is important that you stick to your beliefs and decisions (unless it makes sense to bend sometimes). It's your life and it's your wedding so have a good time with it and if you expend any energy on the responses of others, let it be humor in realizing how this kind of thoughtless inquiry can really be intrusive and inappropriate. This is a lesson that you can learn from others so you don't repeat it someday. Enjoy!

Hi Jenny. I'm so sorry you and your fiancé are having to deal with this situation. It is understandable that you would both feel hurt. However, please do not project this into the future with justifications for cutting off ties with your newly formed family going forward. There are sometimes reasons that are not expressed when close family members or friends fail to attend a couple's destination wedding. This can cause hard feelings which creates tension - a very tough way to begin a family relationship. In other cases, people don't always realize how hurtful the type of comment/decision can be. I'm sorry that your dad seems to be minimizing the importance of a symbolic ceremony but he clearly doesn't understand its importance to you to share this important event with those closest to you. People don't always realize how hurtful this type of comment/decision can be. If you think there is need for you to offer to assist with payment so your finance's parents can attend, by all means make the offer. But please consider that It is very difficult for a parent to make the decision to not attend their child's wedding. But their decision should be respected and accepted - even if it is not understood. In the end, it is about the two of you and you will have an incredible time no matter what. Just don't let that attitude dictate your response. Take a deep breath and move forward focusing on all the people who have RSVP'd to be there and help you celebrate. Have a wonderful wedding!