gresley

Good idea I had wanted to do that originally, but my sister is way too young (she's 12). When I took her wedding dress shopping and she was bored-out-of-her-freaking-mind, I realized she wouldn't enjoy being included in any of the preparation part. I still plan to have her in the ceremony, but I feel like the MOH position would be better suited for a friend who could help me drown my wedding planning troubles in a bottle of wine.

Thanks I love how you ladies understand what I'm going through. I tell my friends and they look at me like I have some sort of mental disorder for not being able to plan a nice normal wedding like everyone else.

Aww, such cute ideas

Oh, also to note, we did this when we first moved in together, and we're not married yet. We're basically "married", though, and most of our expenses are shared.

Should have read it over first.. We don't have FIGHTS about the other person buying things we don't approve of.

Oh, also, this system sort of falls apart if/when one of you isn't working (for kids / economy / whatever reason). In that case, we agreed that the non-working person would still get "paid" out of the single income. As an example, let's say that you quit your job, and you're living off only your DH's income. You determine you need 60% of his income for joint expenses. Of the other 40%, he takes 20% and you take 20%. You set up an automatic transfer from joint to your personal acct, so it doesn't feel like he's giving you an "allowance". You're both contributing to the relationship even if one of you isn't working, and so you need to have some money for personal spending as well. As with all money things, the most important thing is to talk about expectations with your partner and come to agreements and compromises

We solved this issue for the most part by having partially joined accounts. We have 1 joint credit card, 1 personal credit card, 1 joint checking+savings, and 1 personal checking/savings. 80% of each of our paychecks goes into the shared bank account. Then we each have our own set of bank accounts that the other 20% goes into (+ whatever money we had before we were together). We pay bills + shared expenses (things for the house, medical expenses, etc) out of the shared account. Personal expenses are paid for out of our individual account. This means we don't have fewer about the other person buying things. In other words, I don't care if he spends $100 a week on drinks after work, or has a latte addiction, or only wears italian leather shoes, because their his things paid for by his money. (Note, he doesn't actually do any of those things, lol). There are some keys to making this work -- 1. Decide on a percentage you both contribute, not a dollar amount. We calculated our (very general) budget of rent + expenses + savings, and then determined a $ amount that we had to have each month, and just made sure that X% of both our incomes hit that amount. 80% ended up being more than enough, but we don't have that many personal expenses anyway, so we decided not to make it lower. The key to having percentages is that it's fair even if you're making different incomes, so one person doesn't feel like they're spending "all their money" on joint expenses. 2. Direct deposit. We had the issue where my FI didn't set up direct deposit for several months when he started a new job, and kept forgetting to deposit his checks. I kept having to take money out of savings and freaking out, and eventually he transfered like 6 months of back-pay in all at once, so our finances were all over the place. 3. Clear boundaries on what's personal and what's not. Some things are obvious. If I'm going out to lunch with coworkers (obviously without him), its my expense. Clothes, salon visits, all personal. If he's buying games to play on his computer, it's obviously his expense. There were somethings we had to decide as they came up. For instance, we decided after the fact that medical expenses would be shared. I ended up getting really sick a couple months after, so it was good that we had decided on that before the medical bills started piling up. We still struggle with this sometimes, but for the most part it's a good system. Yes, sometimes there's a grey area. For instance, we both play video games. If he buys a 1-player game, but I want to play it too, is it personal, or joint? I started taking classes at the local CC, and I paid for them personally (since he's not in the class), but he said that could have been a joint expense, and he wouldn't have cared. The most frequent thing is that I can never finish a meal at a restaurant (seriously, those portions sizes are way too big), and I always pay for them personally, but he sometimes eats my leftovers. I don't want to say "I paid for that myself, so you now owe me $4 for that half of burrito". For the most part, I don't sweat the small things, because we buy each other meals / gifts all the time, and at the end of the day, it's not a big deal. We adapted this system from what we read in personal finance books. My two favorites (but very different books) are "Smart Couples Finish Rich" and "Young, Fabulous, and BROKE"

Great advice, i'll have to remember this later!

Thanks for all the advice, guys!

I vote the second one so vibrant!

Awesome, thanks for the advice!!!

Super creative

That sounds cool! Do you have pictures?

kewl

So amazing This is such a cool idea!

Just found this thread --- did you use a font for your names or did you design it yourself? They're gorgeous!

Wonderful!

Too much fun for just one celebration! Join us for our ceremony at <place> or our at-home reception at <place> ...or our celebration at <place> Hope to see you sometime! Maybe? I'm not sure....

Trista, even though this thread is old, I wanted to tell you that these are AMAZING. All your work paid off you did a fantastic job! How did the wedding go?

I LOVE the textured folder Great job!

Oooh, I LOVE the seashell stamp

Aw, I like the beach pic cute

Cute, I love the ties

Cute

Super cute! I love the colors