One of my bridesmaids was just in a different wedding where the bride did let the girls pick their own dress, it just had to be in a certain color. The bride said it was a nightmare. Between making sure that all the fabrics went together, the colors kinda matched, length of dresses all looked okay, etc etc etc - she said if she could do it over again - she would have picked out a dress style for everyone and then let them pick the color of that style. Or just make everyone wear the same thing. I felt the same way you do, and all three of my BMs told me that they wouldn't have accepted if they weren't ready for the expense. My girls are great - and I bet yours will understand too Good luck!