I have told people up front that unless they book through our TA or advise us when/how they are booked, I will assume you aren't going & there will not be a "seat at the table" for you. I got so sick of people b*tching about it that I never bring the wedding up around them. Some people have said they will book closer to the wedding date (trying to get last minute deals) so I explained that the hotel books up VERY quickly & they may not get a room. Also, I have to know by a certain date how many guests to make allowances for things like seating, oot bags, etc. it is extremely rude of them to think you can just squeeze them in at any time if they decide to go! Aaaaarrrhhhh