I just went through this exact thing and I had the same instinct and the person finally told me she wasn't going to be going. I'm not exactly sure of her reason but I just had a hunch for a long time and finally I asked her and she told me. She too just got married in May and I was in her wedding and was very on top of things and involved so I am too hurt that my wedding doesn't seem like a big deal to her. I have other friends who I didn't think would be able to make it because of cost, children etc but they are making it work. I have a friend who is due with her fourth baby April 1 and they have booked their trip. They are only staying 3 nights but that is completely fine with us, we are just excited they are coming at all as we didn't expect them too. So I would say if she wanted to be there, she would be and that 3 months is plenty. My advice would be to just straight up ask her and tell her you need to know, that's what I did. I wasn't happy with the answer, but at least I now know and can move forward with planning.