ReganP

Wow, thank you! That was very helpful. I agree that how you let a marriage define your relationship is in your control. I feel confident that if we did get married it wouldn't wreck our relationship or anything, but I think it could strain it at least a bit. Because we're so young, we feel like we'll think differently about our relationship if we "have" to be together because we have a contract. I know we don't have to feel differently if we don't want to, it just seems like it might be difficult not to since society starts viewing and treating you differently when you're married. Obviously, this can be a good thing because people take your relationship more seriously and, in some cases, they even take you more seriously just as a person. But, people expect you to do and not do certain things after you're married, and we don't necessarily like the things we think we'll be expected to do and not do. People expect your priorities to change and for you to drop some habits and develop new ones. I know that some of these things can be a good thing, and they are probably bound to happen eventually, we just don't want to feel like we'll have to become different types of people because we're married. Does that make sense?

OK, I'm not sure where I'm supposed to post this but I'm wondering if married life is really very different from unmarried life. Here's the back story: I'm 22 and not engaged, I'm also not really planning on it any time very soon, my boyfriend and I just aren't very interested The boyfriend and I live together, we just moved to a new city together (we did not live together in the city where we met) Of course our parents want us to get married, pretty much ASAP, but we aren't really interested It's not that I hate marriage or anything, we just don't see the benefit. We make future plans together, are planning on (probably) spending the rest of our lives together, and are very much in love. We are also very much 22 and 23 though, and we know that a lot can change and there's really no rush. The thing is, the friends of our who have gotten married or are engaged fall into one of two categories. Either they are very happy, as they were before they married, and nothing seems different at all except they had a big party, or they are not so happy because somehow the dynamics of their formerly successful relationship changed after marriage. I know we aren't exactly very traditional or typical in that we already live together, which changes the incentive to get married a lot in my opinion, but I'm wondering if you think married life is much different (read:better) in your opinion. We're just so happy now and I don't actually see getting married contributing to that at all right now. It sort of seem like just an expensive and intense project to take on, the wedding that is, not the actual marriage. Thoughts? Also, sorry for the rambling.

I'm typically a gin and tonic girl with a minty-style press thrown in on a fairly regular basis. But, last Saturday I was at this little bar with craft beer and craft food, and I had a red velvet martini. Sadly I have no idea what was in it, but it was the most delicious tasting dessert-style drink I've ever had!

I'm not sure what I want to do about changing my name. I really like my last name, it's very unique and it flows very well with my first name. Sadly, I really don't like my fiance's last name at all. It's so short and plain. But, his family is pretty traditional and I don't want to hurt their feelings and I don't think they would take it very well because I don't even share a last name with my own family (my mom remarried so I'm the only person in the family I'm in contact with to have my name) so I can't say I want to keep my family's name. But, if I keep my name and we decide to have children (which is highly unlikely but always a possibility I suppose) then they will have his last name, and I'm not sure how I feel about being the odd one out there.